He hoped this would be the last time they had to meet in this god forsaken hell hole. It made the Hog's Head look like a five-star establishment. He understood why they had to meet … here. That didn't mean he liked it. Discretion was imperative, especially at this juncture. They couldn't be seen together this many months after his graduation from Hogwarts.

That they got away with him spending summer breaks at Hogwarts without anyone the wiser was a miracle. Evidently, if they had been questioned, Hagrid was going to lay claim to working with him. As if Severus wanted to work with magical creatures. However, he had done a lot with the half-giant during those summer breaks. He was the one that needed the most help around the grounds. It didn't much matter, as he'd never been questioned. He almost wondered if Albus had done something so that no one but Hagrid and Professor Sprout even knew he was on the premises. If anyone could do such a thing, it was the headmaster.

He adjusted his shirtsleeves and cuffs, smoothing down the front of his shirt before approaching the table the man he was meeting had chosen. The table offered both of them seats with their backs against a wall. He fidgeted with his sleeves and cuffs again once he got to the table and set his hand on the chair that was, obviously, designated for him since the second chair was already occupied. He was self-conscious about his arms anymore.

Well, only one arm really.

Because of this man.

His supposed friend. Really, his only friend.

He and Lily had remained cordial until the time came that didn't look good any longer around their fifth year. Honestly, by then, while he disliked that she thought he believed her to be inferior because of her blood status, they had both changed. Spending his summers at Hogwarts meant he really had no need for her. It was about the summer between third and fourth years that he realized how drastically he had erred believing his feelings for her were romantic. In reality, she showed him attention, which he craved. The fact that she willingly spent time with bullies, dating one of them.

He knew the Slytherins he spent time with weren't much better. He was doing it for a reason, though. She was not. Why would she want to be friends with people who treated others cruelly?

This man, though.

There were days he wasn't sure what was fact and what was wishful thinking. He was fairly certain Albus Dumbledore at least liked him, if he didn't reciprocate Severus' feelings of friendship.

"How are you?" Albus asked.

"How do you think I am?"

The answer was hissed, eyes taking in the others in the pub before he sat in the chair designated for him since the table only seated two. No sense going to all this trouble to attempt discretion only to draw attention to either of them while here. "I now have what is essentially a living protean charm coursing through my body."

"You agreed he should be stopped, Severus."

He had, he was right. He still firmly believed he should be stopped. He just wasn't sure why he was the one paying the price. The man he was sitting across from didn't have a Dark Mark marring his arm. Of course, Voldemort wouldn't have taken Dumbledore, even if he had changed sides. Voldemort was smart. He wouldn't want someone with Dumbledore's abilities in his ranks. There would be the chance of a mutiny. There was no one Severus had seen amongst his master's minions who could succeed at usurping him.

Except one.

Severus could, but no one but he and the man he currently was sitting with knew that to be true.

Yes, Voldemort knew he was smart and capable. He just didn't know how smart and capable. That had been Albus' idea. Proving to be powerful yet not too much so that Voldemort would think Severus might challenge him. And possibly be able to win that challenge.

From what Albus told, Severus challenging the dark wizard wasn't the path to take. Severus couldn't deny he wasn't upset about that. He didn't particularly want to die before he hit twenty, and as capable as Albus believed him to be. He just couldn't see surviving a duel with Voldemort. This, though, taking the Mark. People, the master he was set to apprentice under, would see the Mark and think he was evil.

Not that people outside of the Slytherins really liked him anyway. 

"You set me up, old man."

He thought this many times over the past year, but hadn't said it aloud until now. Severus tried the past year or so, as their plans solidified, to figure out when it had happened.

When had the headmaster started working toward this end? Was it from the very beginning? Had he even taken Severus school shopping as part of his plan? His goal? Clearly the Dark Lord had been a problem even then, which was why Severus wouldn't put it past the headmaster. He'd never get a straight answer out of the wizard, so there was no point in asking. He'd had months since finishing at Hogwarts to think on everything.

There was no doubt in his mind, this was part of the headmaster's plan. That Severus, armed with all of the knowledge this wizard had imparted on him, would act as spy. Knowledge and abilities that no one else knew Severus had. A spy. The headmaster's Trojan Horse.

The sad thing was, Severus never said no. He'd been given the opportunity at every turn to back out, to say no, but he never had. Knowledge was too much of an enticement for him. The headmaster knew it, too. He shuddered to think how things would have turned out if he'd caught Voldemort's attention first. Would he have been taken in? Would he be like Lucius, Corban, and Antonin. Like all the others? So many others.

Too many others.

Of course, they all thought that he was.

Like minded. Prejudiced. Hateful.

He grimaced at that thought. That anyone thought he was like that.

His only friend, a person he at one time believed he loved, thought he believed she was … inferior because of her blood status. Less than Narcissa or Bellatrix. He hated that she believed that, and hoped one day to be able to tell her the truth.

When this was over.

When Voldemort had been defeated.

He didn't want anything from her, other than for her to know that he did this for wizards and witches like her. So that they would know they have and deserve a place at Hogwarts for generations to come.

For the headmaster's part. He looked more amused than angry at Severus' … accusation.

Typical.

"Have I not kept my end of the bargain? Have you not graduated from Hogwarts at the top of your class? The best marks anyone has gotten in years? Were you not the star keeper for Slytherin for six of your seven years as a student? Did you not achieve NEWT scores that only he could rival? Are you not one of the best legilimens' and occlumens' around, without anyone being aware that is true? Are you not immune to levels of veritasium that no one administering it would believe possible? Are you a thoroughly trained animagus in a form that is useful to our plan? Do you have an apprenticeship with one of the best potions masters in the world?"

All of that was true. The first time he walked onto the quidditch pitch to practice with the Slytherin team had been, well, far more pleasing than those witches others tried to tempt him with.

"You are not a fool, Severus. You knew as we progressed in these things I worked with you on what they would be beneficial for. You've read enough comics to know I was preparing you to become."

"Yes, one that he thinks he picked," he said.

He chose to focus on that rather than the rest of Albus' statement. The man was right. If he stopped to think about it, he'd known all along. Why else would he have taught him the things he had? He wasn't arming him with such knowledge merely to be kind. At eleven, twelve, and thirteen. Well, he just hadn't really stopped to think about the war and Voldemort. While he'd garnered the attention of the likes of Lucius Malfoy from his first year, he hadn't been truly courted until around Christmastime his fifth year. When he was about to turn sixteen. Albus had … encouraged him to go where he'd been invited that break.

They both knew who the he in that statement was in reference to. Both avoided saying any of his recognizable names, particularly when they were in public like this. Paranoid? Perhaps. They'd come too far to slip up in a ridiculous way now.

He seemed to be the only one, besides Dumbledore, who knew who Voldemort was. He wasn't sure how the headmaster knew his identity, but Severus had come to terms with the fact over the past seven years that the wizard just knew things.

"He is not loyal, Severus. I assure you. You Know Who believes him to be on his side, thus the approval, but he is not. He is what I would refer to as neutral in these things. He is not a spy, but he has provided information that he gets from others who have apprenticed under him. Has he provided information to the other side? Mayhaps, I do not believe so, though. He is not aware of your duplicity nor that I aided you in choosing who you should apprentice under. He shouldn't be suspicious, as one or two others have studied under him who hold his beliefs. You will be safe during the time it takes you to complete your apprenticeship. That was important to me, contrary to what you might think. I truly do want your soul and mind as intact as possible when all this is done. Your new master is aware that you may have to leave on occasion, because you and I both know that your other master won't leave you alone for two years."

That Albus believed Severus could complete his apprenticeship in two years was a bit flattering. Severus wasn't sure he was setting him up to fail, or just trying to give him hope that he'd be done that soon. The idea of not being in the thick of things like raids, revels, and other such gatherings regularly for two years did hold appeal. Severus hated them, because he just didn't fit in. The others there tried to pretend that he did, but they knew it as well as he did. He was different . He just had to continue hiding how different so that he wouldn't get killed. He would no longer have returning to Hogwarts as an excuse for anything.

"So he will not hold sudden absences against you while his apprentice. Win win."

He huffed. He'd prefer it was known by his potions master that he wasn't a follower. They couldn't risk anyone having that knowledge, though. Albus seemed … amused that he would likely be given some intel from Master Matteshall about Severus over the next little while.

"Win win is very relative. And subjective."

"You could have said no at any time, Severus. I did not make you."

"No, you just dangled the carrot of knowledge in front of me."

Albus had the good sense to shrug without comment at that accusation.

Both wizards knew it was the truth. Severus wasn't about to say no, at eleven years old, or even now at eighteen, to accumulating knowledge. To learning how to be as powerful and capable of a wizard as Albus Dumbledore believed he could be.

He was right, his (now former) headmaster had taught him everything he wanted to know about magic, and more than that, life. He'd taught him how to retain his friendship with Lily. It wasn't Severus or Lily's fault their friendship became strained the last year or two of their schooling.

Looking back, now, he was certain their friendship was doomed based on his behavior and attitude their first year. He'd been on a path that could have easily turned to stalking or violence.

They weren't best friends any longer, but Severus still considered her a friend and (he hoped) vice versa. Well, they were until their seventh year when it was "clear" he was on the wrong side of things. She just stopped talking to him, and he allowed it to happen. Knowing it was for the best. He truly didn't like lying to her. Nor did he want to give the Marauders anymore reason to torment him.

He'd had many discussions with this wizard about dark spells and potions as well as their counter curses and antidotes. He'd never found anyone he could talk to like this wizard.

"I miss you, Severus. Whatever you believe, whatever you think that you know, it is fact. Our conversations meant a lot to me. I told you years ago that I would never lie to you. I have not, nor will I start now just because your time at Hogwarts has drawn to a close. This meeting had to happen. Enough time after your leaving Hogwarts had to go by, but it will be our last like this."

There was something about the way he said that that made Severus think the headmaster didn't think he was truly done with Hogwarts.

"I know," Severus said. He hated to admit it, but he did. He also hated to admit that he had similar feelings coursing through him. "I miss you, too, Albus."

He would miss the wizard, the words were not just polite platitudes. He had been his only true friend for over seven years now. Lily, but they didn't have the discussions he and Albus did.

He'd tried in their second and third years to initiate conversations with her, but the Gryffindor bias of Slytherin and dark arts automatically equating to evil had already set in. She wanted to hear nothing about why it could benefit someone to know these things.

So he'd stopped trying and their conversations, few that they were after that, were about safe topics.

He had spent the past few years working his way up in the ranks of the Dark Lord's death eaters, at Albus' encouragement, to the point of having gained Voldemort's respect. His still being a student was the only thing that prevented him from getting the Dark Mark sooner than days after his graduation from Hogwarts.

Or so the Dark Lord thought.

Albus would have allowed it. That wasn't the problem. Severus had hoped he wouldn't need to take the Mark, so delayed doing so as long as was feasible without it seeming as if he wasn't anxious to. He'd like to yell at Albus, to say he hadn't done the things Severus had to do, but he knew the wizard had done some things he found distasteful over the years, too.

"I have promised you when this is done that I will have you seen by the best healers to see about removing the Mark."

"I know," he said. Albus wasn't confident the Mark or the magic embedded in it could be removed. Severus could deal with the Mark for the rest of his days, but he didn't want Voldemort defeated and someone picking up his reins and summoning former followers through the magic embedded in it. He didn't like it. At all!

"Have I ever broken a promise, Severus?" Albus asked this snidely, knowing the answer Severus would give.

"No," he said, knowing he sounded very much like the petulant eleven year old Albus Dumbledore had first met in his bedroom more than seven years ago.

"Then it will be done. I cannot promise it can be removed, or the magic in it stopped, but I will spare no expense to ensure we find out. I told you what we were embarking on wasn't easy."

He sighed. He was right. He did know. He had told Severus there would be mental and physical sacrifices. He just hadn't expected the Mark. He really thought he would be stopped sooner than this.

"I know."

"And I know that you had your eye on an apprenticeship away from Britain, but that would not serve our purposes. I do take your education seriously, you know that I do. We've come too far to risk you being gone for essentially two years."

He nodded, appreciating the wizard was acknowledging he didn't wish to stay here.

"I am aware."

Being aware didn't mean he had to like it!

Five months gone from Hogwarts, and he realized that he would miss it. He would miss his weekly (that had long ago become twice weekly when schedules allowed) lesson meetings with this man. They would not be able to have them anymore. Likely, this would be their last meeting for quite some time. They would not be able to send owls or patronuses. There could be no evidence of communication between the two of them.

Severus would be well and truly on his own from now on. Severus knew he was capable, knew Albus had more than sufficiently prepared him for his task. It didn't mean it wasn't … frightening now that the point in time for him to go out on his own was here.

The fact that he could even conjure a patronus was something he had to keep carefully guarded. Death eaters were not able to. This was known, as their souls were too tainted to do so. There might be some who still could, but none would admit to it. Being able to cast one was not something to be proud of in that circle.

Severus Snape hated Albus Dumbledore because he allowed the bullying by the Marauders to go unpunished.

Albus Dumbledore disliked Severus Snape because he was a Slytherin and fell into the wrong crowd.

That is what the student body and staff thought to be true.

There was no one at Hogwarts, not even the talking portraits, who could say different. They had covered their tracks well. Hagrid could maybe cast doubt on Severus' loyalties, but he had never seen the two wizards together. As far as Hagrid knew, he stayed at Hogwarts over the summers to avoid having to go home. He had no actual knowledge that could come back and bite them in the arse. As … loyal as Albus believed Hagrid to be, he was aware the half-giant was known to run his mouth.

And now, Severus would be walking this next path very much alone with little to no support from Albus.

Their goal?

Severus Snape was to do all that he could to gain access to the very inner circle of the death eaters. To attempt to make himself indispensable and invaluable to Tom Riddle. Abus had insisted the fact he was doing it for the greater good, the safety and well being of not just magical Britain but the world (both magical and muggle), that any wrongdoings would be forgiven. Spies and those working undercover had to do unsavory, illicit, and sometimes illegal things to keep up the charade.

Those occlumency shields Severus was now exceptionally proficient at? Albus told him he didn't think even Tom was better than he was these days. No small praise, and Severus took pride in that. Not to the point of being full of himself. He knew anyone could make a mistake, let their guard down. All it would take was one time, so he had to ensure that didn't happen.

He'd put them in place his seventh year, only taking them down for his meetings with Albus. They would be erected at all times going forward. He was not looking forward to that.

Feeling … nothing was not the way he wanted to go through life. It was the price he was willing to pay for the chance to stop the Dark Lord.

Severus knew, probably better than Albus, that he had to be stopped. So many were following him without really listening to the whole ideology, without truly taking the time to suss out what his preachings were going to lead to.

They were not going to lead to blood purity and lives full of wealth and happiness. In fact, they just may lead to the end of the wizarding race. If muggleborns weren't allowed, the intermingling of the pureblood blood lines would lead to diseases and deformities. Thus far, the wizarding world had escaped such things, but Severus was not confident that luck would continue to hold out forever. One of the subjects he and Albus had discussed in his sixth or seventh year was muggle genetics and why the wizarding world seemed immune to various maladies thus far. Neither had the answer, but Albus seemed to think as Severus did that it was only a matter of time before that may not be true any longer.

And in his opinion it was luck and not some genetic anomaly that rendered their race seemingly immune to birth defects.

"One last thing," Albus said as they prepared to leave the pub.

"Yes?" He knew he sounded dubious and suspect.

"You have exceeded my expectations. You have done me proud. I know I am stingy with my praise, but there are … reasons for that. Just know that what I said here is fact. Our first meeting in my office, I told you things and said I wouldn't be able to repeat them. They are still true today. All of them. I know you will be a formidable potions master."

"You sound as if you're saying goodbye."

"This may be our last meeting for quite some time, Severus. I just want it said. I don't say it often. Our friendship is not based on platitudes and compliments. By either of us. A lot could happen between now and the next time I see you. I will not have you question my opinion of your worth. Of my trust in you. Of your importance to the Order. Of your value to me, and it is not just as a spy, Severus."

"I appreciate you saying so, Albus." He took his offered hand, shaking it.

"Be safe, Severus. God speed."

"Same to you," Severus said.

*****

Severus apparated a few times before finding himself in Northern London.

It was an area he'd been drawn to the last time he flew a week or so ago.

He noted this, only because it was unusual for him to frequent the same place this soon after the last stop. He didn't like to be predictable. Only Albus knew of this form, and he took care not to transform in the same place twice.

There, he found an empty area he was familiar with and allowed himself to change into his animagus form. He knew what he looked like because Albus had shown him a few (muggle) photographs.

The old coot (and he called him that fondly) had gotten a huge kick out of operating a muggle camera the first time. Neither wanted magical documentation of a fair number of things they'd done or experimented with over the years.

The Peregrine falcon he turned into weighed just under one kilogram and stood about forty-five centimeters. He'd never been formally weighed or measured. He believed Albus' ability to estimate. It hadn't really mattered to him to make him do so. At first he'd scoffed at the form he transfigured into. A falcon. What in the fuck was he supposed to do with that?

And then he'd flown for the first time.

For the first time in his life, in the air, he felt free. It had been the most incredible experience of his life.

And, well, spying. It was a fitting animagus form for subterfuge and sneakiness.

No one noticed a bird hovering around. He had keen eyesight and more than above average hearing in this form, which had garnered them some information over the years.

He was unregistered, of course. They couldn't have a record of this on file at the Ministry, where anyone working for Tom, or under the influence of the Imperius, could find it. Albus had the documentation ready to go, in the event Severus' secret was ever discovered, but to this point no one had found out.

He was stealthy and cautious. He never changed in an area he was known in (except inside his house), and he always apparated a time or two before getting to a place he chose to change in. He expected the falcon to come in handy. It would be easy to get in and out of Master Matteshall's home via a window without his master knowing.

Severus didn't care how neutral Albus claimed the wizard he was apprenticing under was when it came to the Order and Dark Lord. He was not taking any chances. He'd come too far to risk having things blow up in his face because information got to the wrong person mere months away from Hogwarts.

He had the ability to fly in his human form, but he was as of yet not completely proficient at it, so it still took a good deal of … concentration. Too, it was not the same as flying in this form. He wasn't sure why, other than perhaps just a human doing what it wasn't meant to do was cumbersome.

He soared through the crisp winter sky, enjoying the feel of the December sun beating down on his feathers. His head tilted as he heard the sound of a pigeon's call. He swooped down, loving the feel of the wind caressing his feathers, the scent of the air around him, and the hush that fell over the area with him gaining speed as he hunted for the source of the call. Animals in the area knew a hunter was on the prowl. The thrill of the hunt was on, and, for a little while, Severus could forget about spying and wars and Voldemort and Albus.

And Lily marrying Potter.

Well, they weren't married yet, but it was inevitable. She'd accepted the wizard's proposal Severus had heard. She was engaged. He had long ago contented himself, and come to terms, with the fact that Lily Evans was not meant to be anything more than his friend. That didn't mean he wanted her marrying that bullying arsehole. All he could do was hope that the wizard would grow up and be the man Lily did deserve.

In this form it was easy to shut his mind off. As Severus Snape he couldn't do that. Only brewing allowed him moments to do so. Here, though, he could think about nothing and not feel guilty doing so.

There.

Oh, little pigeon, you can run but you can't hide.

Not for long anyway.

The falcon was silent as he swooped down, his heart thudding excitedly from the thrill of the hunt. His mouth practically salivating in anticipation. Oh, yes, this form suited him just fine.

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com