"Hi, Severus. May I, um, sit?"

Severus glanced up from his book. He recognized the voice, but was certain she wasn't talking to him. (Despite the fact she'd said his name.) Sure enough, Lily was standing there, gesturing to the table he was seated at with three empty spaces. No surprise there. Occasionally, a fellow Slytherin would join him, but he tended to frustrate them. He didn't talk, and would not allow chatter at his table while he was studying.

And he would not share his notes with them! He had no problem helping people with their homework, but he wasn't going to let them cheat off of him. Or see the notes he made of offshoots of various ideas talked about in class. The headmaster was aware of his … ideas, and seemed to encourage them. He was the only one Severus thought it was appropriate to know how his mind worked.

It took him a moment to realize that he hadn't answered her. How embarrassing. Here she was finally seeking him out, and he was acting like a dolt.

"Of course," he said, using his hand to shift the books that were in the way of her taking a spot at his table across and kitty corner from him.

"How are you, Severus?" This was asked rather softly after she'd taken a seat.

"I'm all right. You?"

"Oh, pretty good. I need to study."

Severus glanced at the table she'd no doubt come from, where her Gryffindor friends were sitting. Clearly not studying, despite the fact they were in the library. Lupin appeared as if he might be trying to at least. Potter and Black were currently glaring at him. Pettigrew. Well seemed attentive to something on the other side of the library. Severus had no idea what. There was a fifth sitting near them that Severus didn't know well enough to put a name to, and he wasn't sure if the wizard was sitting with them or just happened to be at the table near them.

"Well, help yourself," he said. "I will not bother you."

Silence as they both sat studying. Severus wasn't sure what had brought her here, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

At first he'd been beyond furious with the headmaster on his birthday for saying the things he'd said. He watched, though, for weeks. He hadn't just watched Lily either. He watched other witches and wizards.

Lily never looked at Severus the way other witches looked at wizards they obviously liked. It took him a while, he was ashamed to admit, to see the looks. Until he started paying attention to gossip about who liked who and what not. Then he started seeing it .

She never had.

In fact, he started seeing relief in her eyes that he was no longer acting like a lovesick fool.

He hadn't noticed prior to January and February, he supposed, because he hadn't wanted to see it. He'd been … certain she was his witch. He'd feel stupid, but the headmaster hadn't made it seem as if he was dumb for thinking she might be, contrary to what his mum told him about the possibilities of his getting a wife. The headmaster hadn't indicated Lily wasn't his witch because of his lack of looks or money. He, in fact, hadn't made it seem as if he thought Severus was crazy for thinking he might be able to have a witch.

He wasn't sure what that meant. Why didn't he? He seemed to be pretty honest with him about everything, so why wouldn't he say Lily wasn't his because he wasn't what witches wanted? Was his mum wrong? He had no idea. It was so confusing.

So, he'd pulled back. He waved to her in the halls if their eyes met. She had almost seemed grateful that he wasn't seeking her out as incessantly. He'd hoped it was enough that she'd hang out with him over the summer. That for a couple of months they could resume and regain a bit of their friendship prior to this year at Hogwarts.

She likely had no idea how much that friendship meant to him. Those hours they spent together. Oh, she knew his life at home wasn't pleasant, but he hadn't confessed all. Even at nine years old, he new better than to confess to the badness that seemed to be ever-present in his house.

And yet, here she was.

"Are you going to the end of term dance?" she asked.

He cleared his throat, lifting his eyes to meet hers. He looked into the familiar green eyes, knowing that her question was not a hidden invitation for him to ask her. He felt his stomach fall to his feet at that realization. He'd come to terms with it over the course of this second term. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

And make him feel incredibly foolish.

"No, I have little interest in dancing." He sighed then. "I imagine Avery and Mulciber will drag me along despite my lack of interest."

Lily laughed softly.

"Someone has asked you, I presume?" He suspected who it was who'd asked her, but he couldn't come to say the other wizard's name.

"James has."

"I admit I am not fond of him, but if he treats you decently, Lily." He couldn't bring himself to say the rest. She'd know what he meant. How he could treat her decently and treat him so shabbily was beyond him. It was possible, he supposed.

"I didn't say yes, to just going with him. I said the five of us can go, but thank you, that means a lot. I was worried for a while there…"

"Me, too," he said.

"Well, I'll save a spot for you on my dance card if you do show."

"You would?" he asked. That surprised him. "Potter and Black wouldn't like that, I'm sure."

"They know you're my friend, Severus."

He was quiet, heart pounding in his chest as he looked from her to her friends. Could he do this? The headmaster seemed to know what he was talking about when it came to a great number of things. For that matter, Severus wasn't sure how the headmaster even knew about his feelings for Lily. Surely the headmaster of Hogwarts had more important things to worry about than first year students' love lives.

If he said no, she'd probably never make such an offer again. He didn't want that. He didn't have any other friends. Not real ones. Avery and Mulciber, any of the Slytherins really, were nice to him, only because he could help them with their homework and for the points he brought their house. That wasn't even something he wanted to do, but evidently it was expected of him, being the student with the top marks. He was supposed to assist the other Slytherins so that they could get grades their parents would be proud of.

Or at least to keep them out of trouble. (Some were beyond help, after all.)

"All right."

Other than that brief conversation, nothing was really said. It was … nice. Almost like the first month or two of school when she'd sat with him to study. Before she started spending more time with the four Gryffindor wizards she was going to the end of year dance with. They finished studying at about the same time. He walked her to the table where she'd started the evening. The table where her friends sat.

"Good night, Severus, thanks for the quiet place to study," she said.

"Anytime," he said.

He left then, paying no attention to the wizards at the table, or the looks they bestowed upon him. They hated him. He'd done nothing to earn that hatred. At least not at first. On the Express. Now, as the year progressed, having grown a thick skin, as he'd been directed, he still had to defend himself on occasion when they tried to hurt him.

She'd come to him. She'd offered to dance with him. She was willing to be his friend.

The headmaster had been right. He hadn't lied to him or set him up to get made fun of.

He made his way back to the Slytherin dorm. He still didn't particularly want to attend the end of year dance. At least one person would dance with him, though. It was better than the none he assumed would prior to tonight.

*****

"You were seen sitting with that mudblood again, Severus," Lucius Malfoy said to him after cornering him in the common room. This was about an hour after he'd returned. He was still mulling over her offer of a place on her dance card, and whether it was a trick of some sort. He truly didn't think she'd do that, so was leaning toward the invitation being a sincere one. She'd never done anything to make him think she was cruel or setting him up for her friends. "I thought you had finally realized you are better than her."

"She wanted some quiet while studying. She sat. We studied."

Those pale eyes pierced him steadily, shaking his head of hair that Severus couldn't help but be envious of.

"Severus, you can do so much better."

"She's a friend, Lucius."

"I mean, I know a witch or two who would…"

Severus fought the urge to blush, erecting his occlumency shields as quickly as he could so that he could avoid that. He didn't need Lucius to make fun of him, too. He had no interest in witches, referred to by Lucius or not. The past couple of months without … pining over Lily. He felt freer than he had the first few of the school year. He could study all that he wanted. He could go to the room the headmaster had set up for him and experiment with spells and potions. He didn't have to account for his time to anyone else.

Maybe one day he'd want more than that. Doubtful, but he'd explore it if that ever happened.

He cleared his throat.

"While I appreciate the offer, I prefer to stay focused on my studies."

"Severus, there are more delightful things than books."

Doubtful. Books were the doorway to a whole other world. Whole new people and places. A woman couldn't do that.

"For now, they are a more than suitable mistress."

"All right, Severus. You win. Just know, people are paying attention to you, the accomplishments you're making are not going unnoticed. Those same people are also noticing the company you choose to keep."

"I'm not keeping company with anyone , Lucius. She sat at a table I was sitting at. We are classmates. Am I to tell her to leave?"

"Just be careful, Severus. I see great things for you, but the friends you make here at Hogwarts will influence the direction you take."

"Understood," Severus said.

He was twelve years old. He wasn't even sure what direction he wanted to take. Potions seemed a good path. Albus told him he seemed to have a natural affinity for the subject. Spells, though, was another area of interest.

*****

"Lucius didn't like me sitting with her," Severus told Albus a few days later when they were at that week's independent study session. He hadn't gone so far as telling Albus he was right, but he had relayed the events of that evening, including Lily offering him a dance. And that no hexes were aimed at him by the four Gryffindor wizards. He hadn't fully comprehended that at first that night. He'd been too focused on his conversation with Lily. And he knew that he was unable to hide his … pleasure that she'd sat with him for a while and they'd gotten along. Like before. Albus knew what Severus meant but he couldn't bring himself to say.

Severus liked these sessions.

Yes, the headmaster tutored him on spells and potions and books. It was more than that, though. He listened. He talked to him, not at him. For the first time in his life, Severus felt as if he was being heard. And appreciated. And valued. That his input and opinion on things mattered. The headmaster listened to him as if he had something to contribute when they discussed things he'd read or they learned in class the previous week.

He treated him as a peer, a friend. If someone years apart as they were could be that. Severus had no idea. So he kept his … opinion of what they'd formed to himself. He didn't want to frighten the headmaster into thinking he latched onto him instead of Lily for friendship and drive him away!

"Nor would I expect him to, given her blood status."

Severus met Albus' eyes sharply with that statement. That he'd say that … surprised him. He thought this man didn't believe in that? That he thought all magical people belonged here, not just at Hogwarts, but in the magical world.

"You said you don't care she's a muggleborn."

"I do not, Severus. You weren't talking about me. I am not Lucius Malfoy. I know Lucius Malfoy, and others like him."

Severus searched the older wizard's face for any sign he was lying. That he really held to those beliefs, too. He couldn't find anything, but he knew this wizard was capable of hiding such things from Severus if he wanted to. He was good at it, too. There wasn't a student here at school who would ever suspect their headmaster had been meeting with Severus weekly since October.

"Sometimes I wonder how I got sorted into Slytherin," Severus muttered.

"You don't think that you belong?" He sounded surprised Severus might think so. Severus was admittedly surprised he thought so. Today was the first time he'd given voice to that … doubt he'd been sorted correctly.

"Sometimes, but given my family tree it makes it difficult."

"I'm sure it does. I would like you to … encourage those friendships, Severus."

He did?

"Why?"

"They are going to court you. You are smart and capable. You have not hidden your interest in the Dark Arts. As you and I have discussed, an interest in Dark Arts, learning how to defend against them, does not make one evil. Generally speaking, and more specifically, your fellow Slytherins do not see it that way. They do not understand that one can want to study something to learn how to defend against and counteract it. So, yes, encourage them because I'd rather the relationship was on our terms than theirs."

"There's an our?"

"Of course there is. For now, just let them know you're listening, let them think you might be like minded. Keep reporting to me things that you overhear. And see. Even if you feel it's inconsequential. These things are important, Severus, and by reporting them to me, we will have knowledge. Key intelligence. You are important. You must not ever tell anyone, though, what we're doing. What your true mindset is. They think you are like them. They think you have no one, nothing, and will prey upon that. You must let everyone, even Lily, believe that you agree with them."

Severus thought on this, tilting his head back a bit to look at the ceiling. He'd never been important before. Ever. He'd been a bother or a mistake many times. Never important.

"Yes, Sir."

"I may not always be able to protect you, but know that I will help you in every way I can. I am arming you with knowledge and I know that you have come up with spells to offset and protect yourself from anyone without you yourself getting offensive. And therefore in trouble. We don't want you gaining attention for being a troublemaker or serving detentions on a daily basis. Those that might be interested in you as an apprentice one day will look at those things."

"The occlumency," he murmured.

"Yes. That is one tool I've given you. Has it helped?"

"Yes. It helped me block out my thoughts on Lily so Lucius couldn't see a reaction from me." Though it wasn't really Lily Severus had been embarrassed about. He had no interest in the type of witch Lucius Malfoy would likely introduce him to.

"Good. Yes, though him seeing that you are no longer smitten may not be a bad thing. I have an offer for you, Severus."

"Okay."

"Would you like to continue our lessons this summer?"

He did! Absolutely he did. And yet.

"I don't see how."

"I would grant you permission to travel to and from Hogwarts via floo."

Severus brightened at the very idea of their lessons continuing.

"You've heard of veritasium?"

"Of course, the truth serum."

"Excellent. We will work on your building an immunity to its effects. We don't want students around to risk you saying anything you shouldn't, or might regret."

Severus nodded.

Occlumency, legilimency, and veritasium immunity. Was there anything the headmaster wasn't willing to teach him? And why? Why did he think these things were necessary?

Severus hated to admit it, but he was secretly pleased that it was him the wizard was imparting this knowledge to. He had no idea what he'd done to catch this man's attention, but he was glad to have it. These lessons they'd had all year, Severus had looked forward to them. He was learning things that no one else would. It was time with this man, too, that he looked forward to.

"I will miss seeing you in these halls, Severus."

"There is a solution to that," Severus offered. An idea had come to him. Traveling via floo would be difficult. He'd still have to get from Cokeworth to Diagon Alley, as his mum had never connected their fireplace to the floo network. There was no way that was going to happen now.

"Oh?"

"Hire me."

Albus chuckled. Severus bristled a bit, but knew the headmaster wasn't laughing at him.

"I'm serious."

"To do what?"

Severus shrugged. "Whatever you want? I can make basic potions, help Professor Sprout in the greenhouses, or Hagrid with the grounds even."

"Your parents wouldn't care?"

Severus scoffed. There was an understatement.

"Doubtful that they'd even really notice."

The headmaster set his fingertips under his chin, regarding him. Severus fought the urge to squirm.

"One condition," the headmaster said.

One condition meant he was contemplating it. Dare Severus hope that he would be allowed to spend the summer here instead of going home?

"Okay." He knew it was more of a question, but he was trying to figure out what the condition would be. He was pretty sure he'd agree to it, no matter what it was.

"You must take the Express from Hogwarts at the end of term, and then to again in September. No one must know. If I allow one student to stay…"

"I won't tell. I haven't told anyone yet."

Likely no one would believe him, but it did help him get through some of the Gryffindors' tormenting this year. He was learning things from this wizard firsthand. And now he was talking about adding veritasium, the ability to withstand its effects is what he was implying no doubt, to the mix.

"I know that you won't, Severus. Bear in mind, if you agree, that I won't be available every hour of every day."

Of course, he knew that. Expected it. He assumed he'd be able to keep himself busy exploring the castle and the property. There was plenty to do without going into the Forbidden Forest.

"Will I have access to the library?"

"So long as you can adhere to Madam Pince's rules, yes."

"You know that I will."

The headmaster nodded, as if he did in fact know that he would. He would never hurt or mistreat a book.

"That would work well toward your learning to become an animagus."

Severus' eyes widened at that. He was going to teach him that, too?

The headmaster nodded. "Let me visit your mother and verify her agreement."

Severus' eyes brightened. It was a stab in the dark. He hadn't really thought the wizard would agree. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay at Hogwarts and continue to learn. He didn't want their lessons to end. Two months was entirely too long, especially when he could be learning things.

"And Lily? What would you tell her?"

"I'd have Mum tell her I went to stay with friends or her Prince relatives. I don't think she knows Mum doesn't talk to them. There are plenty of rumors, but I don't think anyone knows the truth. She likely won't seek me out anyway. She never really came to my house."

"All right. I will check with your mother, clear it with her, and let you know, Severus. Okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

"It would be my pleasure to tutor you over the summers and allow you run of the grounds the rest of the time."

Severus was almost positive his mum would say yes. Why? Because she likely didn't really want him home. Away from home meant that he was safe. Poor job of ensuring that was true until now or not, he knew that was what his mum wanted for him. It was why she'd insisted he go to Hogwarts, despite his father's objections. (He never knew she had a backbone or a stubborn streak until he'd overheard that argument.)

She asked about his studies and such when he went home on breaks, but she didn't go deeper than that. She never asked him if he was making friends. Or if he was fitting in. Or if people were kind to him.

She likely knew the answers to those questions anyway.

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com