She hadn't been here since Christmas break 1995 she supposed. Seventy-two years. She had been offered the opportunity to tell them goodbye and rejected it. She hadn't given herself the time to think about, or dwell on, the fact that she would never see her parents again. She imagined that Albus Dumbledore probably thought she was cruel or heartless.

Or maybe he understood.

She liked to believe he understood. Certainly, he wouldn't have chosen her for their task if he thought she was heartless or cruel.

Other than their wedding day, she hadn't seen them either. It hadn't been easy. She knew where their practice was, and when they opened it. Yet, she'd stopped herself from giving in to her curiosities and seeing them.

She couldn't.

Of course she could have at any given time. She could have disillusioned herself at any time and seen them right here. She just hadn't been able to. She didn't regret leaving them as she had. She liked to think they had no idea their daughter essentially disappeared from the face of the earth in April 1996. That what they'd done worked, and the Grangers never wondered where their daughter was.

She knew Severus had checked up on them a few times over the years. He hadn't admitted it to her, but she knew him. He would want to ensure that they were safe. That she was born as originally occurred. That she was safe.

It was funny, she was pretty sure in her old backpack that she still had stashed away, she had keys to this house. Keys that she presumed would still work. Odd to think.

She approached the front door then and rang the doorbell.

"Oh, hi, Marie," Hermione said, clearly surprised. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, I came to see you. If that's all right. I know it's unexpected and unannounced. If you're in the middle of something, or about to go out, I can come back."

"Oh, no it's fine. Come on in."

"What did you have set for today?"

"Nothing, really. Studying."

Not an unexpected answer.

She took a moment to take in the house. It was … the same. Right down to the lace doily underneath the candle on the table in the entry. It had never been lit, so the wick was still standing tall and white, ready to serve. That same candle had been there since she was at least six or seven. It had never been changed out for a different one or moved from its spot. Her parents did decorate around it though. So, at Christmas time there'd be a strand of tinsel around the base or something. The same for Easter and such.

There was something different than she remembered. On a shelf above the candle, in a glass case, proudly on display to anyone who walked through the front door, was the baseball autographed by Babe Ruth she and Severus had "gifted" her parents for their wedding.

"That's Dad's most prized possession," Hermione said, clearly noticing what her older self was looking at.

"Is it?" she asked.

"Yes, they got it as a wedding gift, I guess, but to this day don't know who gave it to them."

"Generous person."

"Yeah."

A brief closing of her eyes while she inhaled and, despite it having been over seventy years, it smelled the same. Mum and Dad. She'd say home, but it wasn't that anymore. At one time it had been. To the girl standing here with her it still was.

"Let's have some tea, yeah? We need to talk, Hermione."

"Sure," she said, leading the way to the kitchen despite the fact Hermione had no problem finding that room. She wouldn't say she'd know it blindfolded anymore, but the route was still familiar.

She stifled a sob when she saw a picture of the three Grangers from what had to be the previous summer on the refrigerator. Several other pictures were there as well, some of the three of them and some of just Hermione. Some trips she remembered taking with them, but it seemed the memories diverged once she'd headed to Hogwarts. It made sense, since her experience was different from Hermione's from that point on.

God, everything looked the same. She wasn't prepared for that. She'd thought this was a good idea instead of asking her younger self to come to her. She hadn't been expecting to feel so deeply for this home she hadn't set foot in in decades.

They made their way to the family room. She assumed, as was the case when she was living here, that despite it being called a family room her parents left her pretty much to her own devices here. She even had a video game console, which she rarely played. It was a nice stress reliever now and again.

She smiled at the framed needlework she'd done around the age of five or six. They'd gone to America and visited Arizona. They'd stopped at a local area artist's studio. There was a shop at his studio that sold kits that included a decorative embroidery hoop that looked like a frame when done. The needlepoint was sandwiched between two paintings her parents had bought of the artist's. They'd decorated the room around those DeGrazia paintings, so it looked rather out of place in muggle suburban London versus muggle desert Arizona. Still, though, she'd loved this room, and that her parents had displayed her needlepoint proudly with the more expensive paintings purchased. Hermione had looked him up in the library a few years later, realizing he'd passed away a year or two before they'd visited.

She'd completely forgotten about that trip until now. She'd traveled to New Mexico and Arizona with Severus years ago, and finally understood why some of it seemed familiar to her. She wondered if the artist's studio was there then. If she had stopped, would she have seen the man whose paintings were on her parents' walls.

"I've gone over this conversation in my head probably a hundred times since I first met you." She sighed, settling her hands in her lap. "Severus says he's been working with you on legilimency and occlumency?"

"Yes."

"Good. You will need it after this." She unfolded her hands, rubbing them on the legs of her pants. "This is going to take a while. Your parents are at work all day?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Here goes. I'm going to use legilimency on you. I promise I'm not going to hurt you. If you need a break at any time just break our visual connection, but the sooner we're done, the sooner you can … process. Erik and I argued about when to do this with you. He does not want you distracted for your NEWTs."

"You're worrying me."

"It's nothing but, it's just … a lot to process. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Okay. Ready?"

"Yes, Madam Prins."

Hermione smiled slightly at that, and reached to squeeze her hand. "I'm still Marie. You haven't done anything wrong. In fact, I think you'll see you did quite the opposite of wrong."

She took a deep breath then and met her younger self's eyes evenly. "Legilimenes," she murmured.

She saw her confusion, felt her fight a bit as she shared with her her first arrival at Hogwarts. Hermione tried to reassure her as best as she could given this form of communication. Eventually, she relaxed as the memories kept appearing in her mind. She didn't seem any less confused, but she wasn't upset anymore. Likely, her first thought was that someone had toyed with her memories, her mind.

Hermione knew that would be her primary concern, because it would be hers. She remembered the night Albus had presented this idea to them how abhorrent the idea of someone obliviating her was.

She showed her a few memories, so she'd know that she was who she claimed to be, and not just someone who knew a whole bunch about her and her family.

She made sure to show her her parents' wedding. She showed her the time she'd skinned her knee falling off a skateboard, but lied to her mum and said she just fell because she wasn't supposed to be riding skateboards and didn't want to get in trouble. Or the time that she inadvertently unlocked her parents' car door and said nothing because she didn't realize (until years later) that it was accidental magic. Her parents just assumed they'd left the car unlocked. She knew she'd done something she shouldn't have done. She showed her the first horse that she had a full memory of riding. She was about five and snuck a sugar cube from her parents' tea tray to give to it, hoping the new horse she would be riding would like her as a result of the treat.

It was hard to share the right memories from the life she'd lived since leaving Hogwarts. Which ones did she pick? Thomas, of course, as he was the reason for all of it. Seeing young Severus, preparing for his infatuation with Lily, only for it not to happen. Finding out Erik had circumvented that chain of events by visiting both of them. How she'd helped him get better robes and supplies than his mum could afford. Her feelings about dancing with a younger version of her husband on a date that he'd previously experienced loss. Instead, this night, he was able to dance and be pleasant versus finding out his first friend was dead. Her reaction to seeing a crying Hermione in the library, and wanting to do something so that she didn't leave. Her conversations with her Severus as to how unsettling it was for him to be near her.

Holding Toby, her oldest great great grandchild for the first time. It didn't matter to her that he was a Harrison. She'd felt his magic, and knew because of them. Taking them in. Another generation of Harrisons would get their magical education.

Lastly, she showed her a time she'd cast the patronus charm and, like Erik and Severus, theirs was the same. This is what led to her decision to have Erik teach her how to cast one rather than herself, as there was very little she couldn't teach anyone. She hadn't thought it was a good idea to take on that lesson.

She was so proud of her younger self as she pulled from her mind, severing the connection. It was a lot to digest.

"We did that?" her younger self whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked at her.

"We did."

"And you still love him? You don't regret it?"

"I won't lie to you and say every day has been great, but very rarely was it due to any fault of his or mine. We've had our share of discussions, heated and otherwise, sure. The world can be a cruel place. We had to sit by and watch people suffer because we couldn't tell anyone what we knew was going to happen."

"That's why you're so self-sufficient."

"It is. I knew we needed to be. The Depression was the worst, obviously, but there are always ups and downs. I never wanted us to have to worry. I never wanted the kids to think that they had to worry. We tried to help where we could. We gave food away when we could. We gave away clothes. We tried to ensure everyone at Hogwarts was okay when they went home. It was part of the reason we took Cole, Jackson, Benedict, and Randall in. I had brought a copy of my current Hogwarts: A History with us. So had Erik, just by the way, so if he ever teases you about your familiarity with it just know that. Cole and Jack were the only ones who'd started Hogwarts at the time of their parents' deaths, and they both left in 1942. Or were never referenced again after that. Neither ever finished, the other two never went. We didn't know what they might accomplish, but the idea of magical people leaving the world bothered us. We'd been told there were other offers for the boys, but not all four together. It was our … penance, I suppose for being forewarned of the Depression. We thought it was a good way to give back, and it exceeded our expectations. I love them as much as if I gave birth to them. I know Erik feels the same way, the same with our children. We're to a point now where I don't know what's going to happen anymore, so I guess I still want to be prepared. And well, I can admit I'm sort of used to it by now. I'm not sure what I'd do with time on my hands."

She watched her younger self stand and walk to a window.

"What do I do?"

"You don't do anything. That's not why I showed you these things. You needed to know. Severus knows, and you needed to know, too. We were afraid, well, we don't want you to change job goals because the amortentia was upsetting to you. We knew what was happening, you did not. If you have truly changed your mind about the Department of Mysteries, then fine. However, you deserved to know, and you should know about Severus, too. What kind of man he is. He can be prickly and downright nasty when he wants to be, but he is the most loyal and heroic man I know."

"He'd probably tell me the same about you."

"You're probably right. I didn't work as a spy for fifteen years, though. He did and has the scars and still has nightmares from time to time to prove it."

"Oh," she said, frowning slightly as if that thought hadn't occurred to her.

"Another thing I think aided Thomas especially in being … accepting of others. All the children really. They all have seen Erik shirtless and in short pants working around the property. We used that exposure to teach them not to point, or rudely walk up to someone different from they are and ask why. I'm not sure Erik … appreciates those lessons were at his expense. It is what it is, though."

"He has that many?"

"He does," she said simply. "That man was not nice. He led by violence, kept people close to him with fear and doling out punishments. Allowing others to punish others. He has not told me all of it. I don't ask. It's, frankly, none of my business. When he wishes to talk of it he does, I listen, and that's it until the next time he wants to unload another piece of his history I had no clue about. He has told me more than once it astounds him that I could love Thomas as I do, knowing that he threatened and harassed my best friend, killed people I cared about, and would likely have tortured me before killing me if he ever caught me. However, Cedric Diggory aside, few were very personal. I mean, Harry's parents of course were, but I didn't know them. However, I was not tortured by that man. I was not abused by him. I did not do something that I feel guilty about eighty years later. And he never treated Thomas any less than our son. So, while I astound him, he astounds me."

"Meanwhile we were turning in extra…"

"Yes, believe me, I've gone over that thousands of times by now. He likely taught class after having received the cruciatus more than once that final year. I can't undo it. He's moved on. I gave you the advice I did your first year based on my experiences, and things he'd told me."

"So my parents…"

"Are mine, and I'm so happy that you have a good relationship with them. I was at a point where I suspected I was going to have to do something drastic to keep them safe. I hadn't come up with what yet, or determined how urgent it was. The killings though were getting bad, and I knew being one of Harry's best friends. Well the best way to get to me would be to take out my parents."

"I suppose. Funny that I'm still friends with Harry but not Ronald Weasley."

"I'd noticed that, too. Ron and Harry sort of bonded on the train before first year even started because they were both kind of outcasts. Ron just because he was a Weasley, purebloods who were not part of the pureblood rhetoric, and not very financially well off. Harry because he had no idea he was a wizard until Hagrid found and told him. Not just a wizard, but a pretty well-to-do one, too."

"Yes, the Potters are reputed to be quite wealthy and respectable."

"Our son, Willem, married one of Neville's cousins. Erik was none too pleased about that, based on his experiences with Neville."

"Oh, but even that's different."

"It is," she said with a nod.

"That's why Severus went to the movie and Christmas dinner, isn't it?"

"Yes. He realizes that while our family is not his family in the true sense of the word, they are in a way and he's never had that. Erik never had it either. We also lived for years not knowing if we were going to have to end the life of a child that we'd loved and cared for. And make no mistake about it, I loved him from the first time I held him in my arms. I won't lie to you and say that we both didn't think the night he was first home with us that if we just ended it, for certain nothing bad would happen. However, Thomas is so smart and a truly gifted wizard. That was not what we were sent back by Albus to do. Our purpose was to try to make him a productive member of wizarding society. A good one."

"And now he's the Minister for Magic."

"He is. Evidently, Albus was right, which is why I couldn't stand back and let you go away from whatever was guiding you to the Love Room, Hermione. We made a difference. To that child. To the world. Love did that, because we couldn't go into it half-assed or treating him any differently than we did Charlotte, Philip, Graham, or Willem. We treated the Harrisons the same, too. We couldn't love him differently. Again, if you truly have thought on it and decided it doesn't appeal to you, then fine."

"Thank you," she said, turning to look at her then, blinking rapidly as if trying to clear her mind.

"You will have to occlude all that I showed you. It takes a while to get used to constantly occluding, but you'll get the hang of it. No one can know. The device we used is well hidden, and only I know where it is. However, that doesn't mean that there isn't someone else clever enough to build a different one that would travel that far back and undo what we did."

"How would they know to try?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know. How does anyone know anything? We were admittedly a little worried you were going to choose the Time or Prophecy Rooms."

"Neither really appealed to me."

"I don't blame you. I just want you, me, to do whatever you want. We worked very hard to be sure that you could. You have this whole amazing world at your fingertips to do whatever you want with it. Do it. Do what will make you happy. If that's being an archivist, great. If that's not Severus, great, though I think both Severus' would be disappointed if you took that route."

She shook her head and blushed.

"We saw two movies together this summer."

"I know."

She held up her hand when her younger self looked … irritated.

"Severus is not confiding in us. You said in your patronus message something about another movie. Severus took that to mean you'd been to one. We're not gossiping and we're not judging. Severus, your Severus, has been very concerned about appearances. I also don't find it odd that he agreed to go to a movie and Christmas dinner that you'd be at once you turned seventeen."

"Oh," she said, biting her lower lip. Apparently she hadn't thought of that.

"I think he was very worried what anyone might think if a friendship developed before then."

"He has been a friend. Some nights we don't even brew in his lab, we'll talk about a homework assignment and the discussion just rolls from there onto whatever."

"And that's good. That's immensely important. I think he feels the same way. He loves that stick pin you gave him. I don't know if he told you that, I doubt he would. He likely felt it was inappropriate to accept it, yet liked it. I know my Severus had not been on the receiving end of any gifts until I made him that Scrabble board I showed you. I know him well enough, despite the differences, to know that he is very fond of it."

"I saw it and couldn't resist."

"It was very appropriate."

"So, he knows?"

"Yes. Erik told him, I guess it was after the weekend we would have gone back. So, last April. Easter Monday."

"So, he like taught his Mum! And himself!"

"He did. The conversation he had with Lily was for my benefit he said. By that time we'd been together and happy for forty-five years. He said he didn't want me to have to see that, which was very sweet. What he doesn't know is that what would have bothered me most was not seeing him loving another witch, but that witch treating him so poorly. I wasn't around the first time, so have no idea if she knew what she was doing, knew Severus liked her as more than a friend, but she embarrassed him, too. Originally."

"That's kind of sweet that he'd do that for you."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

Her younger self smiled.

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"I think so. I mean, it's a lot to digest, but you know I told Severus I experienced deja vu in his lab a lot."

"I bet you have. I've spent hours in that lab. We made this robe I could wear that was charmed to look like a maternity belly. If anyone scrutinized it closely, it wouldn't have passed muster, but Headmaster Dippet insisted I come to dinner before Erik's first term in 1927. I would have been like five months along at that point so no big deal. I used that robe countless evenings before Thomas was born and helped him in his lab. No one ever came to visit so we never got caught, but I wore it every time. They liked the dungeons even less back then than they do now."

"I have so many questions."

"I'm sure that you do, likely for Erik and myself both. Take the next little while before school, write down your questions and when you get back to school we can address them."

"That sounds fair."

"I'm glad you think so. We're not trying to hide anything from you. And really, it was mostly the change in job paths that concerned us. Trust me when I tell you that it is unsettling to us as well. I look at young Severus and he is but he's not. He's not my Severus, but then I'm not his Hermione either. As we were involved with something huge regarding love and its effects, well, I thought it was an appropriate career path for you. But you're not me, we branched off really at age eleven. I doubt much changed really before then. So, whatever you want to do, Hermione Granger, the possibilities are endless."

"Thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for listening and not having me arrested. You are, of course, welcome at our house over Christmas if you don't come here. For that matter, you're welcome there anytime."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"So, Harry was raised by his aunt and uncle?"

"Yes, the Dursleys. Have you met them?"

"Yes. I get the impression his mum doesn't talk to her sister much, but I saw them once at Harry's birthday party. Um, after first year. I haven't seen them at others since then, so I'm not sure if they don't come or if they're not invited. They don't seem as if they could possibly be sisters. She wasn't very nice, neither was her husband. Harry seemed to get along somewhat with his cousin, but even he was a bit obnoxious."

"There would be a pretty good reason for that. She, Petunia, would tell you that she hates magic, but Erik and I believe it's jealousy."

Her younger self nodded.

"They were," she shuddered at the thought of them. "They were not nice to Harry at all. Just knowing he had a better life, and I trust that you would have told me here today if his life had been made worse. Well, that in itself makes it worth it to me."

"I'm sorry that you lost your best friend."

"Oh, don't be sorry, Hermione. I gained so much. Truly. It's been a once in a lifetime experience, and I got to share it with a man I've grown to love and depend on very much. I admit I haven't forged a friendship like the one I had with Harry or Ron, but I view it as it wasn't necessary because of what we accomplished. Anyway, I best go before your parents get home and wonder what I'm doing here. Work on putting those memories away and keeping them secure. Albus is not aware we've told either of you, but I would not put it past him to think we might and prod. He's … curious that way."

Her younger self reached for and hugged her then and Hermione cried, hugging her tightly.

"Oh my sweet girl. I have loved watching you grow and learn so much."

"Thank you."

"Thank you. See you in a week or so then."

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com