***Part Five***

Buffy woke at the sound of the front door closing. Her mother was home and she was lying naked in bed with Spike who was not just naked but semi-erect. Did he ever get enough? She had little to judge him by since she had been as willing as he had been last night. She never would have thought it, and as she thought on it now she felt embarrassed. What would Spike say when he woke up? What would she say? If he teased or belittled her in any way she would stake him, it was as simple as that. She had exposed herself to Spike last night, letting down barriers she had not even known she had in place.

She slipped out of bed and into her bathrobe. It was not very sexy, but she was just a high school girl. Hopefully, Spike did not expect her to have a collection of teddies and other negligee in her possession. Sure, she had some bras and underwear that were lacey and sexy, but that was the extent of her lingerie collection.

She paused at the door, her mother could not find Spike like this in her bed. Buffy needed a shower, though, and badly or her mother would take one look at her and know exactly what she had been up to the night before and this morning. She went to her desk and scribbled a note to Spike, taping it to the back of the door where he was sure to see it if he woke up and decided to come searching for her.

She left her room and walked to the head of the stairs.

"Hi Mom, I'm just about to take a shower."

Her mom appeared at the foot of the stairs, her hand resting on the banister. Hopefully, the hallway was too dark so she would not take notice of her appearance. "Hi honey. I'm just home to change. I have a book club meeting tonight."

"Oh, so you won't be home?"

"No, I'll leave you some money if you would like to order a pizza for dinner, though. Maybe you could have Willow and Xander over."

"Uh sure that would be great Mom. Thanks." She had not thought much on Willow or Xander since the day before. She hoped they were both doing all right. Her mom was right, she needed to spend some time with her friends. She just hoped she could do it without giving either of them reason to suspect she had been doing the big nasty with the big bad all night. Buffy turned away, anxious to get into the bathroom and done with her shower, the sooner the better as far as she was concerned. She did not need her mother wandering into her bedroom.

"Why don't you come downstairs and talk to me for a minute when you've showered."

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute. I had a long night last night, so I need one pretty bad."

"I'll put on some coffee."

"Thanks Mom," she called out as she continued down the hall to the bathroom.

Buffy started the water and while it was getting warm went to the sink to brush her teeth, avoiding the mirror. She was not afraid of what she would look like, but was afraid of how she would react to seeing herself in the mirror after the things she and Spike had done the night before. She could not help but look, needing to see the mark on her neck. Today was Saturday, so hopefully by Monday it would be healed or at least healed enough to look like a hickey and not what it really was. How was she going to explain it to Angel if he saw it? He would surely know in his over two hundred forty years know the difference between a hickey and a vampire bite.

It was not as bad as some vampire bites she had seen, but then Spike had not been out to kill her. She did not imagine vampires who had willing humans to feed off left them too terribly marked, but it was still more than obvious what it was. Two puncture wounds, their placement inline with fangs. And to make matters worse, he had given her an actual hickey to the side of the marks, so there would be little question that she had been a willing blood donor. Angel was the least of her worries, Giles would not be pleased at all if he were to see it.

She released her hair, letting it fall back in place not wanting to think anymore on what she had willingly done and let Spike do to her last night. She removed her bathrobe and stepped into the tub, drawing the shower curtain closed. She spent more time than she normally did cleaning herself, wanting to wash any physical evidence of the night before away. Some, like the bite mark, would not wash away and Buffy knew she would just have to deal with that.

She was startled when she heard the scraping of the curtain rings against the metal rod indicating the curtain was being moved. Her mother would never walk into the bathroom without knocking, they both enjoyed their privacy too much for either to do such a thing. Spike.

She finished rinsing the shampoo from her hair and opened her eyes to see that it was indeed Spike, raptly watching as the last of the shampoo was rinsed off her rosy breasts by the water. "What are you doing in here, Spike? Didn't you read the note I left?" She spoke as softly as she could, hoping her irritation at his invasion of her privacy was clear enough without her having to shout.

He smiled charmingly, at least Buffy much to her chagrin found it charming. "I did, but I didn't think you would mind a little water conservation." He took hold of a bar of soap and Buffy was about to protest. Her mother would come in and find them and all hell would break loose. It was one thing for Angel to have told her mother they had made love and another for her mother to catch her naked with someone in her shower. But then he began washing her back silencing her protest. "I take it you have no argument to wage against my being here then, Miss Summers."

With those words he reached around with the bar of soap to lather her breasts and abdomen, his thumb purposefully sought out a nipple causing her to inhale sharply. She was sensitive from their night together, so his touching her in that way was almost painful but she could not form the words to say so. It was a sort of pleasant pain, like when he had fed from her. It hurt, but it was not so distracting that she had not enjoyed the sex.

She felt him hard against her and knew he had not come into the shower to conserve water. Chances were they would waste more than they conserved if they did what was on his mind. "My mom," she said softly as he slid his erection between her legs, parting her lips but not entering her.

"I locked the door when I came in. My clothes are in your closet, so unless she gets really inquisitive she won't know I'm here."

He placed a hand at one thigh and raised her leg so her foot rested on the edge of the bathtub. His mouth found her ear and he bit the lobe, swirling it with his tongue and placed a hand over her mouth as he entered her hard and fast. She was ready for him, that was not a problem and Buffy knew the hand at her mouth had been to stop her from crying out at the suddenness of his entrance.

Mutely, she made sounds against his hand, her lips parting and her tongue licking the palm of his hand, nibbling on it with her teeth as he thrust into her. He whispered words into her ear that under normal circumstances she would have slapped him for, but here and now she welcomed them, got off on them and he got off on her getting off on them.

"Spike," she whispered, wanting to climax but not being able to yet.

"Reach down and do it then, pet," he whispered his tongue finding the bite mark and tracing over it, circling the two holes which was sensual in a strange way to Buffy. She did as he said, hesitantly at first, embarrassed to touch herself in front of him.

Obviously, though, if he had not wanted her to do it he would not have suggested it. As soon as she started to, as soon as her fingers began to touch the apex of the soft curls between her legs her embarrassment was gone. His hardness inside of her, a hand still at her mouth, and his mouth paying homage to her neck she realized he more than likely was not paying much attention to exactly what she was doing. Small whimpering sounds were audible and Buffy realized she was making them, causing Spike to tighten his hand over her mouth again.

She could not help but laugh, last night he had gotten off more than once with the sounds that she made, the words she had said, the demands she had made in the heat of the moment. Now he was doing his best to keep her quiet. It reminded her of the saying be careful what you wish for. He had told her after their first time she was being too quiet, that he knew that inside of her was an animal wanting, craving to be let out. Slowly but surely as the night wore on he had enabled her to let the animal loose and now she was not sure how to capture it again.

He seemed to sense when she was about to reach her release and without asking this time, sunk his fangs into her neck. Buffy, in return, bit his hand and came, hard and intense. Within moments her climax had ripped through her he came too, his moans muffled by his feeding off of her.

He pulled out of her, both between her legs and from her neck a few minutes later and she turned to face him, angry that he had done that without asking or telling her he was going to. But he was not looking at her, he was looking at the bottom of the bathtub and she sensed somehow it had not been intentional. Even if it had, he had not hurt her and he had helped her over the edge.

"You need to ask, you know. I'm not your snack, Spike."

"Oh come on, Buffy, I woke up and I craved two things, sex and nourishment, and I got hard thinking of the nourishment you provided me. So I came in here for the sex assuming I could hold off on the nourishment part until later. Apparently my body had other plans."


He squirted some shampoo into the palm of his hand and lathered it into his hair. "Was it that bad?"

"Yes," she said, hoping she was convincing. She was not going to turn into his food source or his human sex source. Buffy had no doubt he could find both in plenty of places.

"You're lying." He finished rinsing out his hair and washed himself off quickly. He placed a kiss against her cheek. "I'll get dressed and go out quietly and come back so your mother does not know I was here all night."

"Don't you think she'll notice your hair is wet?"

"I highly doubt she will put two and two together, Buffy. If for no other reason than you're her daughter and she would rather not think about her little girl shagging a vamp all night long."

Buffy did not have a chance to reply to him because he was out of the shower too quickly. "Damn vampires and their speed," she muttered.

"Speed was not something I heard you complain about once last night, love," he whispered and when she peeked out from behind the shower curtain to reply he was gone.

She finished her shower and dressed in a pair of jeans and a black sweater. She did not bother trying to cover up her neck, she did not want to think about it exactly but she was not ashamed to have the marks. She did leave her hair down, though, hoping it would cover them enough so that her mom would not see them and ask questions. Buffy was not ready for that.

She entered the kitchen and there was Spike sitting on a stool at the island talking to Buffy's mother as if nothing had happened between them. Maybe in Spike's mind it was nothing and that sort of bothered Buffy. Not that she wanted Spike as a boyfriend or anything, but she still wanted to believe that she had been good enough for him to maybe consider her a little bit.

"Hi Mom," she said, kissing her mom on the cheek on her way to the refrigerator. "Hi Spike," she said in what she hoped was a way that reflected disinterest.

"I was beginning to think you were never going to come down," her mom said and Buffy stared at Spike for a minute.

"Slayer," was all that Spike said in greeting.

Great, Buffy thought, we're back to my being ‘Slayer'.

She got herself a bottle of water and leaned against the counter, the same counter where Spike had held her last night and charmed her somehow into inviting him up to her bedroom. "So, how was the gallery last night, Mom?" Surely Spike would take off if her mom started talking about work. It was evening now, so he could go out without having to worry too much about the sun.

"It was fine. I've got another all nighter tonight more than likely. The show opens Monday you know and none of us want to be all tired out for it, so we're trying to get it all done by tomorrow afternoon."

"Then why are you going to your book club?"

"I needed a break and I had assumed you had plans. It is Saturday night. You and Angel usually," Joyce broke off seeming to sense that talking about Angel right now was the wrong thing to do. Buffy glanced at her feet feeling like she had betrayed Angel last night.

"Well, I think I'm just going to stay in tonight, other than some patrolling. Pizza and an evening of movies sounds good."

"Great," Spike offered. "No anchovies."

"I didn't say you were invited," Buffy retorted.

"Play nice, Slayer," he said, his tone indicating he was not teasing entirely. Buffy wondered what that was about. Was he mad that her mother had talked about Angel? Did he think Angel would be coming here to eat pizza with her? Last night had changed nothing between them, surely he knew that if Buffy could acknowledge it.

"I was going to invite Xander and Willow to come. Both could use the break since they're currently in arguments with Cordelia and Oz."

"Sounds like trouble is abounding in Paradise," he said and Buffy knew Spike was not talking merely about Xander and Willow.

"Sounds like," she said in agreement before taking a sip of her water. She did not have to tell Angel about last night, she did not owe him any explanations. She knew that things could not be the same between them, though. Spike had made Buffy realize things that she had been blind to until last night. She was not sure exactly what she was, and while she did not think she was a slut she knew that she could not go the rest of her life without experiencing sex.

"Well, I'm going to go upstairs and shower myself and get ready for the book club meeting." She reached into her purse, removed her billfold and put some money on the counter. Buffy noticed it was more than enough to buy a pizza. Was her mother trying to compensate for not being here two nights in a row? "That should be enough for all four of you to get whatever you want on your pizza."

Buffy rolled her eyes and frowned at Spike. He had managed to get her mother to invite him to stay for the evening.

"Thanks Mom."

"Thank you, Joyce, though it's not necessary for you to pay for my share."

"You're our guest tonight, Spike, it's no problem. I'm just glad to know an adult will be around when I'm not. I know Buffy can take care of herself, but a mother still worries."

"Of course and well she should," Spike affirmed and Buffy shook her head. Inviting Spike to look after Buffy was like inviting the Big Bad Wolf into your home and offering him your children as a snack.

"Thanks Mom," Buffy said again, hoping to get her mother out of the room and out the door before she'd married Buffy off to Spike in gratitude.

As soon as her mother had left the room and she was upstairs, Spike was off his seat and standing in front of Buffy. "You know if you really don't want me to stay, I'll go, but I admittedly have nothing else to do tonight. I've already fed, so I don't need to do that anymore. I had fun patrolling with you last night."


"Yeah, it was fun, I wouldn't mind doing it again. Not just the patrolling either," he said, letting the back of his hand run the length of her arm.

"That is not going to happen again, Spike."

"Sure it isn't, sweetness. I'm in you now, just as you're in me. You couldn't stay away from me if you tried."

"You want to bet?"


She narrowed her eyes and stared at him. What did he know that she didn't? His confidence rather than his words themselves worried her. "It's not worth it, I'd hate to have you lose your hard stolen money."

"I didn't steal all of it. I'll have you know I earned some yesterday."

"Doing what?"

"I helped some poor chap carry some things into his house from his car. Heavy things they were and he was just a scrawny guy."

"And you took money for that?"

"Well, sure, he offered it I wasn't about to turn it down being unemployed and dead and all like I am."

He leaned forward to kiss her, and Buffy placed one hand against his chest, pushing him away. "Spike, I'm serious. If you want to stay for pizza and so long as you can behave around my friends it's fine, but no more sex. No more kissing. No more. It's done. I'm not that kind of girl."

"Oh, pet, you are that kind of girl and then some, but if it will make you feel better I promise to behave myself in a manner you deem appropriate."

She looked at him suspiciously. "So you will behave?"

"If that's the behavior you want from me, then I will do my best to abide by the lady's wishes," he said, offering her a gallant bow that surprisingly despite it being the year nineteen hundred ninety-nine rather than eighteen hundred ninety-nine did not look that out of place coming from him. There were times as modern as he was a hint, a glimmer of the gentleman he once was shone through.

"Bowing was not exactly what I was looking for."

He took her hand and kissed it just where it joined the wrist, looking into her eyes once he had finished. "I can behave like a gentleman when I need to, I do remember how."

"Yeah, but a gentleman doesn't need to do those things anymore, bowing before a lady, kissing her hand."

"In my mind they do, at least if the lady is fair enough to deserve such treatment."

"How can you say I'm fair or deserving of such treatment after what we did last night, Spike? I didn't behave as a lady. I behaved as a harlot or whore, certainly no lady of standing I've ever read about."

His grasp of her wrist tightened and he drew her to him. He gripped her face in one hand, forcing her to look at him. For a brief moment she was scared, but she saw no threat in his eyes. He was merely trying to get her attention. He had it. "Don't ever say that again, Buffy. I don't know why you think that, but you behaved in no manner that reflects poorly on you, at least in my eyes. You should not be ashamed of what you did, but rejoice that you found someone who could bring it out of you. It's who you are, Buffy. You are not the type of woman that could marry some nine to five pencil pushing accountant who would make love to you two point five times a week, missionary style until you had the two children and then he would stop not wanting to exceed the American dream of averages."

"Maybe I would be happy with that."

"After last night, if you can still say that I feel sorry for you, Buffy. I truly do. I won't be crass or conceited enough to believe only I can bring that out of you, but you would be miserable in the scenario or any one close to it."

"And you think I would prefer to be with someone who treats me in such a fashion that I expect to find money on my nightstand in the morning?"

He hit her then, a blow with the back of his hand across her mouth, hard despite it being an open handed blow. It was so sudden that Buffy had no time to react at first. "I'm still here, aren't I? I could have just gotten dressed and left without saying good bye, but I didn't do that, did I? I realize I would not have been your first choice in partners in any part of your life, Buffy, but don't cheapen what happened between us. Just because you like things a little darker, a little harder, a little more violent and a little less traditionally does not mean that you're a whore and never once did that idea cross my mind. Not once. Not when I was inside of you, not when I was beside you, not when I woke to find you missing from the bed."

He stopped when he saw she was crying. Or at least Buffy assumed that was why he had stopped. His arms went around her, one hand going to her head encouraging her to place it against his chest. And she did. She took his offered comfort, accepted it, and felt oddly safe by it.

"Sweet Jesus, Buffy, you did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong. Ask anyone. I mean, I wouldn't walk up to your friends and say hey I dig this am I crazy, but ask around and you'll find you're not alone."

"I'm not going to ask anyone, Spike," she demanded, wiping her face with a hand, still resting a cheek against his chest. He was not warm, he did not have a beating heart for her to listen to and be lulled by but he provided her comfort nonetheless.

"Fine then, love, don't, but I speak the truth. Get on that Internet thing that everyone keeps going on about and read up on it, you'll see. There's nothing to be embarrassed about or sorry for. I kept coming back for more, didn't I? So if you're sick, then I'm equally sick because I couldn't get enough of you."


"Really, pet. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We did nothing wrong."

"I want to believe you, but I felt so dirty afterward. So wrong."

"Well, I was not an overly religious man before I was turned and things have grown considerably lax since my days of going to church, but I think that feeling comes from church. As long as two people are consenting and adults, I see no problem with the couple doing what makes them happy."

Buffy did not want to ruin the moment by pointing out that legally she was not an adult, and so she left that alone. "I guess I see your point. I mean, Willow and Xander are the only two friends I have that I know well enough to ask, and other than Xander and his experience with Cordelia I don't know that either of them could provide me much useful information."

"And I would reckon, judging by looking at her, that Cordelia was about as proper as they come. All those hoity toity types are you know. So you'd better not ask Xander. The boy already has a mad crush on you, and I'd rather not have to get jealous over the fellow."

"You'd get jealous over Xander? Don't you think if I'd wanted to be with him I would be by now?"

"But you hadn't had a taste of sex until recently, pet. It was easy to turn him down, not like him then, but now you might be curious about what doing it with a human would be like. And that wouldn't sit well with me."

"Spike, you're not my boyfriend. What happened, it happened, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen again."

"It will happen again, Buffy. I may not be your boyfriend, and you may want to hide and deny that we're anything to one another but adversaries, but it will happen again."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you, that's how."

"I wish you didn't."

"You don't mean that, Slayer, I know you don't. I think you like knowing someone out there knows a part of you that no one else knows."

"You think so, huh?"

"I do. Now are you going to get on the phone to your friends and invite them over? Should I go pick up a few movies for us to watch?"

"You'd do that?"

"As long as I don't come back to find the doors locked sure, why not?"

She smiled and laughed, the thought of locking him out crossing her mind briefly. But that would be cruel, if only because she would not just tell him not to come back. "You can come back," she said walking to the telephone. "No Dracula or sex movies."

"That rules out about ninety percent of the selection then, Buff."

"Well, just, nothing that's going to make Xander and Willow horny or sad all right?"

"No horniness, no sadness? Right, got it. Do I get to make you horny?"

"Not now you don't."

"Maybe later," he quipped.

"Maybe," she said distractedly as she dialed Xander's number. Vaguely she was aware of his question and the impact of her response. She ran her hand along the bite marks on her neck, remembered the variety of feelings he had brought out of her and given her. She turned to look at him while Xander's phone rang, ready to commit to more than a maybe but he was already gone. "Serves you right," she said to herself. He was coming back, with movies, and she could tell him yes then.

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