Dear Ivy and Jasmin:

If you ever read any of these letters I've written to you. Well, you'll probably come to the conclusion that I'm a daft man. There might be other behaviours of mine to lead you to believe that as well. I guess I don't know. And perhaps I am. Yet Hermione puts up with me so I must not be.

I just hope that you don't run around telling people that your father had whimsical moments like everyone else. I've worked very hard over the years to make others believe I'm not only above but not interested in such things. I didn't have a problem convincing them that was true either until seven months ago as there was no one who might demonstrate otherwise.

Seven months.

For a man such as myself who had a pretty miserable existence for his first forty-two years of existence (some of it of my own making, some of it not). Well, if anyone would have told me even a year ago I would one day be … happy. In love. Hopeful for the future.

I would likely have hexed them, or assumed they belonged in the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's.

And yet, here I am feeling all of those things. (I have yet to tell Hermione that I love her, so please don't tell her that I told you first. Okay? It shall be our secret. She knows that I do. The words are not easy ones to give to a man such as myself.)

You were brought to me seven months ago today.

Two hundred forty-three days.

Not that I'm counting. (I could blame Hermione for knowing the number of days, but that would be a lie.)

Two hundred forty-one days ago I was hoping it was some sort of error.

That your mum or dad would realize they were wrong. That you, and they, were not actually in danger. That they would return for you and say ‘Our mistake. So sorry. Go about your miserable, hermit-like reclusive life.'

Two hundred forty-one days ago I would have been able to do that without issue. (Okay, perhaps, a little bit of an issue.)

Here we are, however. Seven months in and I'm not exactly sure what I would do without your eternally sunshine-like presences in my life.

Who knew two slips of a girl, one of whom could hardly speak or run steadily at that, could have me so thoroughly wrapped around their fingers? And I can freely admit that you are.

Albus would probably tell you that he did, but do n0t believe him. He is not all-knowing as so many credit him with being. I never would have believed it possible. Children were bothersome creatures was all that I knew to be true.

Speaking of bothersome creatures, I am currently watching my second year Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw potion class struggle with ascertaining the difference between lavender and Russian sage. I should be focusing on that, but I vowed to embark on this … correspondence between now and whenever I decide to desist. Whether that end comes because your mother returns for you or I just decide these letters are a useless endeavour I do not know. Given the date, I thought it appropriate to write something today.

A new school year. I know this means nothing to you yet, Jasmin. One day it will, though, and I hope you come to enjoy learning as much as this version of your mother and I do. Your sister will likely tell you that I am a slave driver. That is only because I know you both have exceptional minds and endless potential.

This version of your mother is working here at Hogwarts as well now. I can't help but think this is where she belongs, but that may be my bias talking. I would of course support her in whatever career she chooses to pursue. I just hate to see her underused at the Ministry.

The Minister for Magic did not want her to leave and I believe is hopeful that with some time away from the war and her reputation that she will return to the Ministry. I can admit I hope that she does not because I'd hate to see her become a cog. Not that that would be her only option working for them, but it certainly could happen. Truthfully, I'd like to see her do something away from Hogwarts, too, but for now I am enjoying the newness of having someone with me day in and day out. Someone that I know is in the same castle should I need her. I've never had that before so I will encourage her to pursue other avenues later.

Either way, I find I look forward to waking up each morning in a way I hadn't known was possible. I credit the three of you witches for that change in my disposition. And without your presence, I wouldn't have Hermione either. If I ever do see your mother again, I will thank her for affecting so much needed change in my existence even if I'm firmly convinced giving you back to her at this point would damage parts of me I never knew were there.

The Daily Prophet has reported on you, so most everyone knows of your existence now. I am very grateful neither of you are able to read and that you reside at Hogwarts. We'll leave it at that as to my reaction to the few articles published since you've been seen in August. While I am a private man and prefer seclusion, I know that Hermione is right that I can't keep you locked away and hidden here forever. Should your mother return and take you back, well, I'll just have to contend with that and the rumours your disappearance brings. I would have without the Prophet knowing or not, I suppose.

And Jasmin, do not let Ivy tell you that she wasn't in awe of her first exposure to Diagon Alley. You won't remember it, I'm sure, but she had her mouth agape several times despite her mother telling her about it. Also, do not let her tell you that I was unaffected by her reaction. It gave me great pleasure to be able to share that experience with her. I hope that when you're old enough to actually recall Diagon Alley I will be with you for that trip as well.

All right, I am quite positive that infernal Miss Montgomery is about to pluck every flower from her assigned stalk. Dunderheads. All of them! Maybe it is I who should question whether I belong here at Hogwarts.

Eternally.

He never signed the letters. He didn't feel the need to, and he still seven months into this found it odd to address himself as Dad in print. Verbally was different somehow. Plus, Ivy and Jasmin addressed him differently. He wasn't going to sign letters Father/Dad. The ‘eternally' was standard as whether they returned to their mother or not, he could admit now that they had rather implanted themselves in his heart. So even if they were in a different universe he would still wonder and worry about them. And yes, love them.

He'd written the first of these letters on Ivy's birthday because while they'd given her a cupcake on April first to commemorate, he and Hermione agreed that they'd have to celebrate her birthday late December in keeping with her age with Jasmin's just a couple of weeks before hers for the same reason. Most would have a hard time believing on April first that she was six and she was far too advanced to be just turning five. So, they decided to keep with how old she was when she was brought here: Five years and four days.

There weren't an abundance of notes, but occasionally he'd think of something he wanted to tell them and wrote it down. Today seemed significant. The beginning of a new term. Again, he had no idea if he'd ever give them to them. Or have the occasion to for that matter. Hermione knew about them, but he'd never offered to let her read one and she had never asked. (He appreciated that very much.)

The destruction of the lavender stalk was averted with a stern scolding and a roll of his eyes at the audacity of someone … destroying something so callously. Destroying it for the sake of being cruel not in experimentation.

It was one of the things he didn't understand as far as people not thinking potions was "real" magic. And try as he might to convince students otherwise with his opening lecture every single year, most weren't swayed into believing it. Did they not consider nature magical? He did. He always had. To Severus there was magic everywhere. It didn't just come because of a spell out of a wand. He truly believed that was the reason he was as powerful of a wizard as he was. He was willing to call on anything nature offered to enhance his casting.

The second year students left and he returned to his quarters to put the hastily written letter with the others. He had a couple of hours free. Well, free was relative. He had papers and potions to grade. Tests to prepare. Potions to brew. His deputy headmaster duties.

There was always something.

He was surprised to find Hermione with Ivy and Jasmin, reading to them in their bed. All three were under the covers.

"Is everyone all right?" This was asked quietly when he noticed Jasmin was, in fact, asleep upon a second glance at the young witch. Was she unwell? She'd been fine when he got her up and ready for the day earlier in the morning.

"Yeah," Hermione whispered. "She didn't want to go down for a nap so here we are. Ivy wanted to join."

"She's going to get used to that." He never used to pay attention to such things, however, since these girls came into his life he tended to listen as others spoke of their small children. Not that he encountered many, but there were professors at Hogwarts with children and Molly Weasley certainly had experience.

"I'll put her in her crib in a few minutes. I've been told that's most important, that they wake up in the crib even if they don't fall asleep there."

He knew nowt of such things so had to assume she'd researched such advice for validity.

"Would you like me to do it?"

"Actually," she said, turning a bit so she could pat the side of the bed behind her. Usually the girls ended up on either side of Hermione, but today that wasn't the case so the spot behind her was currently empty. "Why don't you join us for a while."

"It is the middle of the day…"

"So? Come snuggle with your witches, Severus," she said, biting that lower lip as if she thought he might say no or scold her for her frivolousness.

Well, who was he to say no to such a request?

He kicked his shoes off, removed his robes with a wave of his hand and did exactly as she suggested. He slid an arm around her, his hand resting at sleeping Jasmin's back. He could feel the rise and fall of her little lungs as she fell further under the nap's spell. Hermione snuggled into him, giving a soft sigh. Ivy was on the other side of Jasmin and he lifted his hand for a moment, touching her hair and shoulder, grazing her cheek with the pad of his thumb in the process. He was afraid at times she would think Jasmin got all of his attention. She was smaller and could be carried much easier. Plus she in general needed his assistance more frequently and for longer periods of time than Ivy did.

"How are you?" she whispered.

"Better now," he said softly. He wasn't in a bad mood before coming in here or anything, but quiet time with his witches seemed to have a rejuvenating effect on not just him physically but his disposition as well.

"Good," she murmured.

How did she know that this was what he needed? Closeness. His witches. And they were all his. He very much considered them to be. Not his as in possessions he owned, no, but his as in they had all three become a more than just slightly significant part of his day. And his life, just months into this.

Acceptance.

Love.

Did she love him?

He wasn't sure. He was confident she knew he loved her. Neither had said the words, but he liked to think he displayed his feelings for her. Showing her he did was evidently different than saying the words. Somewhere deep in him he wagered there was that fear that if he said them she'd laugh or, even possibly worse, leave. He didn't truly think that. She was no more prone to irrational, knee jerk behaviours than he was. So the fact that they were here, doing this together meant something to both of them.

The boy who had gotten his heart broken, though, wouldn't allow him to let go of that doubt. Yet. He knew one day he'd get there.

She hadn't used the rooms assigned to her since before the end of the previous school year. She hadn't returned to her flat when the term ended at the end of June. She hadn't even seemed to think that she should. He had formally asked her to stay, though. It was the … right thing to do versus just assuming she would stay or think that he wanted her to.

Another reason Severus wagered he was in a surprisingly good mood most days.

Regular sex.

Not just regular sex, but good sex with an emotional attachment by both parties. And when she woke up each morning - in his bed - she didn't look at him with anything but affection in her eyes.

The first time they'd been intimate he'd been concerned. It happened rather quickly. So many factors could have led to her regretting taking things in that direction. Their age difference. Knowing her other self's age when Ivy was conceived. The things he'd said to her when she'd been a student. The fact she had ever been his student. That he hadn't told her about Ivy and Jasmin right away. 

There were so many variables. And yet she'd returned. And returned. To the point he viewed it as she'd never left versus returning any longer.

"Hermione," he whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"Mm hmm," she murmured. He loved how content she sounded. Here with him. These girls. She could've reacted completely differently. 

"I am grateful that you are here and have grown rather attached to it. I don't know where your future might take you, but hope that you will still consider this, us, your home."

She scoffed softly and he wondered what that was about. Had he said something wrong? He didn't think so. He was trying to pay her a compliment. To inform her that he valued her presence here. With him. With the girls. She turned a bit, reaching to kiss him which he returned more than willingly.

"I love you, too, Severus," she whispered.

"I…"

"It's okay, Severus," she said, rubbing her cheek against his. "I understand completely that those words are not easy for you to think about, let alone say. When you do say them, I want it to be because you're ready to not because you feel you have to. I promise not to say it to you at every turn so that you get to feeling uncomfortable."

"I do," he whispered.

She kissed him again, brushing her cheek against the edge of his mouth.

She was right. Those words were incredibly scary for someone like him. He never believed he'd have anyone to say them to! He was still coming to terms with the fact he could. He knew what he felt, but saying it. Well, that was different. Totally different than writing them in a letter he may or may not ever let Ivy or Jasmin see. Way outside of his comfort zone. Leaving him … open. Exposed. He didn't like that.

"Are you asking me to live with you?" This was asked after a moment or two of silence between them.

"Well, yes."

Wasn't that obvious? She could suss out that he loved her but couldn't that he wanted her here every day of every year?

"Like as in move my things in here?"

"That would be appropriate I think, yes."

"What about my flat?"

"Do you want to keep it because you think you'll need it? You haven't spent a night there since March."

She'd returned with him and other than a few trips there for various reasons she hadn't been back. She hadn't spent a night away from Hogwarts since. Well, one night she babysat James and Herman Potter for the night so their parents could have a "child-free" night. No one else was willing to stay at the Black home all night long it seemed (not that he could blame them). Ivy and Jasmin had accompanied her, giving Severus his first child-free night in months. (Thus far no announcement of a third Potter child had been made.)

"I'm aware of where I've been sleeping, Severus," she murmured.

"Okay," he said cautiously.

What was he missing?

Was it too early to bring up such a topic? She never shut the door to her quarters back in March and hadn't even attempted to sleep in them since April that he could recall. He was somewhat surprised they were still an option to her, but evidently Minerva (or he) had to request to have them taken back.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of not having something outside of Hogwarts."

What was he supposed to say to that? He had no idea. She apparently didn't take his silence to mean anything bad as she spoke again.

"Have you stayed here every summer since the war?"

"Yes," he said. "I was made an offer on my childhood home that I would have considered myself an insane man to turn down."

What did that have to do with what they were talking about?

"So, it could be our flat? My flat, I mean?"

Oh.

Was she asking or feeling him out to gauge his reaction? She was suggesting they live together outside of Hogwarts, too.

"Too permanent for you?" she asked. She sounded a bit cheeky versus upset, which he was pleased to hear. It would be just his luck, not responding fast enough to make her upset.

"I said no such thing. I just wasn't expecting the offer nor was I completely certain what you were getting at."

He honestly hadn't thought of it from that perspective. Silly of him not to, but not unexpected since he never actually sought out a domicile away from Hogwarts. He'd merely kept his childhood home.

"Well, I don't own it, but…"

"Well, until we know what you decide as far as your career path, it seems renting away from Hogwarts makes the most sense. You may end up staying here or returning to the Ministry. Or taking a different route altogether. Who knows we may both tire of the wizarding world and decide to do something completely different."

"That's kind of what I was thinking, too. It's small, my falt. Ivy and Jasmin would have to share a room if we stayed the night, but I think at their current ages it would work out okay."

"I don't plan on allowing you to spend much time there. We can think of looking for something to own eventually if we wish to go that route."

Merlin, he was talking of owning a home with a witch. This witch. And she seemed … agreeable to that being an eventuality. Not tomorrow, but one day. Permanence. He could admit to himself that he realized he was a lucky son of a bitch that the possibility existed even if he didn't say so out loud.

"You plan on impressing me with your vast castle?"

"Exactly that. Has it worked?"

"Oh, obviously."

He was quiet as he thought over what she'd just asked him, offered him. He had no problem saying yes, no problem considering his quarters here theirs and her flat theirs. However, the gentleman in him knew that there was an important piece in all of this missing.

Her parents. Their knowledge of the fact their daughter was contemplating residing with a man. About Ivy and Jasmin.

"I was also thinking over the upcoming holidays that we should go to Australia."

"My, you have had things on your mind."

He was always thinking. She knew that. The things may not always be about her or personal in nature but it was rare that his mind was not actively working on something.

"It is time, yes? Officially, you have rooms still here that are designated as yours. I will not ask Minerva to change that until we have spoken to them. They need to know. About us and about Ivy and Jasmin. I will not have that secret from them while I'm contemplating permanence with their daughter."

"You're right. I'll go home over the weekend and call them Saturday or Sunday morning. I'm sure they'll be ecstatic whatever amount of time we choose to spend with them over the holidays."

"I suppose that is one thing in favour of keeping the flat."

"Yes, I think they'd be bothered thinking they could only reach me by mail."

"I understand."

He did, even if he didn't have anyone he cared to worry about being able to contact him. He got that most people did, and would want their loved ones to be able to communicate with them.

"I'm going to put Jasmin in her crib and Ivy in her bed now."

"I can do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he said. "I can come back and join you if you'd like."

"Really?"

He'd surprised her with that. They had spent an afternoon in bed while the girls napped more than once, but never in the middle of a school day. It did not sound at all like a dissatisfactory way to spend his bit of free time.

"Keep the bed warm and I will show you."

He stood then, walking to the other side of the bed to gather Jasmin into his arms and carry her to her crib. He covered her up, waiting at the door to her room for a minute or two to ensure that she stayed asleep. He repeated the process for Ivy before joining Hermione back in his room.

Not only had she kept the bed warm but she'd removed her clothes in the process. That realization warmed far more than their bed and led to a very enjoyable respite in between classes. No parchment, quills, vials, or red ink necessary.

He truly was a lucky son of a bitch.

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com