September 2000

Hermione stared, unseeing, at the book she held in front of her in the staff room, fighting back the tears of … Well, what she didn't quite understand what the tears were for.

Hermione wasn't trying to eavesdrop on the conversation going on nearby, but Pomona and Rolanda weren't talking as if they were trying to be discreet or secretive.

"He really just packed up and quit?" Rolanda asked.

"Yes, Minerva said he approached her in her classroom, his Gladstone bag in hand," Pomona said. "As if he didn't want to do it in her office, with the late headmaster as a witness.

"Well, that's inconvenient, as classes have just started."

"I assume she'll approach Horace, at least in the interim."

Horace taught last year. Everyone assumed now that Severus was up and walking well, bandage-free, and everything that he'd be back to it this year. Hermione knew he wasn't thrilled about the idea of returning to his post as potions professor.

Poppy was, probably not surprisingly, silent as the other two women talked. It was only a month or so ago that the bandages from his neck had been removed for the last time. She would likely still consider him her patient, finally no longer under her immediate care or not.

Hermione had sat by his bed for months when he was in a magically-induced coma to help him heal. She read to him, talked to him, cared for him. She was rather proficient at shaving his face by now. A face that as she spent many days looking at, she'd grown fond of. She had no idea why , other than she knew her parents would tell her it was the right thing to do.

It took about eight months for him to wake, and she knew for the past nearly year-and-a-half that he wished Poppy would put him back under the influence of the coma. His recovery had not been pleasant or easy.

She wasn't the only one who stopped to talk to him, but she was the most frequent. And one of the few (Poppy and Draco being the other two) he allowed to stay for more than a quick hello.

The past few months, in between the school years when they had the castle essentially to themselves. Well, she thought they'd formed something. She thought particularly during the last walk they'd taken to the Black Lake late in August that he might want to kiss her that they'd formed something … good and potentially permanent.

She found that she wasn't at all opposed to that idea. Of him kissing her, or of potential permanence.

Of course Hagrid chose that moment to approach them.

The moment was ruined, and she to this day had no idea if it had all been her imagination.

Interest in being kissed by him aside, she thought they were at least friends.

He didn't take walks with Poppy. He did with Draco, but he never sat with him for as long as he did with her. As if he didn't truly want to be alone with his godson. His health probably wasn't the only reason his walks with Draco were short.

Tears burned in her eyes, the words on the page she stopped trying to read a few minutes ago were blurry from them.

"Where is he going?" Rolanda asked.

"I don't know. He didn't tell Minerva, beyond saying he wanted to get back to the life he knew." Pomona and Rolanda gave a soft tsk at this.

Silence, making those words heavy and bitter in her mind.

Worse, in her heart.

What did that even mean?

She closed the book, blinking furiously to try to stop the tears from falling. She gave a small gasp, that she was sure the other three witches would know was a sob.

"He walked out the door," Pomona said.

"Really?" Rolanda asked. "He can still apparate from here, can't he?"

"He can."

If Hermione wasn't mistaken, this last bit was said by Pomona aimed in Hermione's direction.

Pomona saw them a few times taking their slow walks around the grounds of Hogwarts while she was tending to the plants in her greenhouses and around the castle's grounds.

"Is he leaving the wizarding world then?" Rolanda asked

Pomona didn't answer this question.

Silence hung in the air.

Finally, Hermione couldn't stand it anymore. She, discreetly, wiped her eyes and stood from her chair.

"Excuse me," she said. "I hope you have a good night."

The last thing she heard as she was leaving the room was a statement from Pomona, that almost seemed to be for her rather than Rolanda or Poppy.

"If I had to hazard a guess, I would think he would leave here the way he got here."

Hermione pocketed her book, and hiked up the skirts of her robes and the dress she wore as she took the stairs.

They were surprisingly cooperative tonight.

Down she went to the dungeons. She approached his classroom with hesitation, a feeling of dread washing through her.

He wouldn't really just leave, would he?

No wards on the door to his classroom was her first clue that yes, he might actually really just leave.

The classroom was empty. Devoid of his jars with, Merlin only knew what, in them. No vials. No books. No papers. No anything that showed he'd occupied this classroom for nearly twenty years.

(Horace used a different classroom last school year. Minerva thought it unsavory to have Severus' belongings moved while he was in a coma.)

The tears she'd held off until now came fast and furious as she realized what the empty classroom meant.

He'd left.

She found her way to the lab table she and Neville had sat at, running her fingers along the top of it. Soon, the tabletop was damp from her tears.

Merlin.

How could he do this? Just leave. Forget her, though she could admit she felt devastated by the fact he could just leave her. She presumed Ronald doing so was a fluke, a one-time thing. That it wasn't her, it was him.

Was she wrong?

Had she fooled herself into thinking he liked her? Liked spending time with her? Had wanted to kiss her?

Damn Hagrid!

How could he leave the magical world? A world he'd fought for close to twenty years for?

Pomona's words came back to her: "If I had to hazard a guess, I would think he would leave here the way he got here."

Hermione had an inkling, a glimmer of hope, that maybe she knew what the witch meant.

She ran to her rooms, grabbed her cloak and the leather satchel she'd purchased over Easter holidays. A leather satchel that Severus had helped her cast a silencing spell on, in addition to the undetectable extension charm on it, over the summer. He'd helped her tweak the silencing spell so that when she set the bag down, it didn't obviously sound like she had the undetectable extension charm on it.

It was the first time since Poppy told him he was cleared to resume all normal activities, within reason and ensuring he gradually added things. She didn't want him running or anything right away. (From the looks of him, Hermione didn't think Pomona had to worry about Severus overexerting himself. It was clear that while he was recovered and able to walk, his body was still recovering.) Well, it was the first time she saw those dark brown eyes look alive. She didn't want a spell that would expire or anything. And she didn't want things around the bag to be affected by the silencing spell.

Together they'd accomplished what she wanted to with it.

She ran as if someone was chasing her from her quarters, down more stairs, out the main entrance and to the gates of Hogwarts.

She made it to Hogsmeade in record time, slowing to a jog once she was there. She didn't even give Tomes and Scrolls a second glance as she made her way to the station.

He had to be there. If he wasn't?

Well, she had no idea what she'd do. If Severus Snape didn't want to be found, Hermione wasn't vain enough to believe she'd be the one who was able to find him.

Hand pressed against the outer wall once she got to the station, she took a moment to catch her breath. To collect her thoughts. To make sure that she really wanted to be here.

Decision made, she made her way to the other side of the building where the tracks were. The Express hadn't left for its return trip to London yet. No doubt (though she hadn't thought about it before now), they walked the train, checking the compartments and carriages to ensure no one had left anything behind. Or that no one was hiding. Or that no one decided at the last minute they didn't want to stay at Hogwarts.

She'd never heard of that happening, but she imagined it had occurred over the centuries of its existence.

She let out a shuddering breath of relief when she spotted him, an old but obviously well-cared for leather bag at his feet beside him.

He hadn't seen her yet. She thought briefly of casting a spell to ensure her eyes didn't look as if she'd been crying, but decided maybe he should see how his leaving affected her.

She closed the distance between them. He looked … tense. He was standing ramrod straight. His left hand behind his back, balled into what looked like a loose fist. The right hand setting atop the handle of his cane. (A snake, of course.) He was dressed in black, of course, from head to toe. No dragonhide boots tonight, though, she noticed.

He did not look as if he was concerned or having second thoughts about being here.

She tucked a few strands of hair that fell into her face behind her ear as she finally stood beside him. She turned to face him, not really sure what to say. They weren't lovers. She wasn't really sure they were friends. She thought they were, but as someone who still didn't make them easily. Well, she wasn't sure.

"You were really going to leave without saying goodbye?"

Silence.

Well, okay then.

"I thought…" she started.

"You thought what, Hermione?" He didn't sound angry or upset that she'd shown up here.

She sighed heavily.

"Am I not a man nearly twice your age?"

"Yes, but…"

"Am I not a man who joined Tom willingly? Took the Mark," he said, clenching his left hand as he said that she noticed, "willingly? Betrayed my best friend?"

"Severus…"

"Am I not a man who treated you and Mister Potter terribly, more so than was necessary, in my role as spy?"

"Yes, but…"

"I don't know that I will ever be one hundred percent again. I don't know that I think I deserve to be."

She wasn't even sure what to say to that. Of course he deserved to be well! And she knew without a doubt he would get to one hundred percent again.

He turned then, facing her. Dark eyes that for years she thought were cruel. They weren't tonight. They hadn't appeared that way to her for months now. Spending the time with him she had, she had learned to see his moods in them.

He reached for her then with his left hand, tucking the same strands of hair behind her ear because the wind had blown them back into her face.

"It's for the best, Hermione."

Her heart thudded in her chest at the contact. A small, simple gesture. It showed, though, that he cared.

"Where are you going?"

He shrugged, left hand still settled against her cheek. He grazed her temple with his thumb.

"Home for now. Put my past to rest, probably sell the house, and decide after that."

She nodded, hating to do so for fear he'd move his hand.

He didn't.

She took a chance then, moving to her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

He gasped and then gave a low groan as he seemed to surrender, and return the kiss. She slid her arms around his neck, mindful of the still fresh-looking scars along his left side.

Distantly, she heard the conductor call out " All aboard", and drew away. She set her hand against his cheek, her gaze never wavering from his.

"Take me with you."

"Hermione," he hissed.

"Do you like me, Severus?"

"I shouldn't…"

"I didn't ask if you should. I asked if you did."

"Yes," he said, the S prolonged. It wasn't a hiss as he had done moments ago. It was more as if he was uncertain he should be answering that way and mulling the response over as he gave it.

"Then take me with you."

"You have a job…"

"I don't want to teach."

"You've done a good impression of…"

"Because I wanted to be near you, you dolt!"

He stepped away, squinting as he regarded her.

"Your familiar?"

"I'll collect him when I return to get the rest of my things. It's not as if he'll go hungry or be neglected at Hogwarts."

He smirked then, noticing she had her satchel with her, no doubt.

"I have one question for you, Severus."

"Only one today?"

She rolled her eyes, knowing he was teasing her. What Harry and Ron wouldn't pay to hear Severus tease!

"That day by the Black Lake Hagrid came to ask us to help look for his lost Fire Crab?"

He snorted softly.

"Were you thinking of kissing me?"

His eyes fluttered closed and his grip on the handle of his cane tightened a bit.

"I should say no."

"Please don't ever be dishonest with me."

"Fine then, Yes, I was thinking of it."

"Then take me with you, you damned fool."

"I'm not coming back," he said, as if saying it more to assure himself than her that he was really leaving for good.

"Have I said anything tonight that makes you think I'm going to try to make you do otherwise?"

"No, but I do not want you to think this is just a phase. I've been beholden to too many masters in my life already."

"I don't want to be your master, Severus."

"No?"

She lifted her hand from his cheek, replacing it with her lips.

"I want to be your partner. At Hogwarts, or wherever."

"I've never had a partner."

"I haven't either. Not really."

He snorted softly, and she realized that was probably a silly thing for her to say to him. He was, as he said moments ago, nearly twice as old as she was. So, her not having had a partner wasn't quite as … odd.

"Last call. All aboard," the conductor called out. They were the only ones on the platform, so she supposed he was trying to tell them to get on with it. He likely had a family to get home to.

He nodded then, reaching out with his left hand.

She wasn't sure what he was doing until he turned it palm up.

"Can I escort you onto the train then?"

She let out a breath in relief, settling her right hand on top of his palm.

"Please."

He handed her into the train, following her to a compartment.

A flick of his wrist, both of their bags were in the storage area in the compartment.

He sat next to her after he removed his coat and assisted her with her cloak, draping his arm around her shoulders once he settled his cane against the window.

"Have you been to Cokeworth," he asked as she set her head against his shoulder.

"Mm, once with Harry. He wanted to see where his mum grew up."

"Well, I hope you're not expecting a home like the Evans'."

She lifted her head a bit, regarding him.

"No offense, Severus, but if I was after wealth, notoriety, and lavish things, I'd still be dating Viktor."

He chuckled softly at that.

"I never liked him," he said in a tone that told her he was … teasing again, and maybe a little jealous of a wizard she'd dated years ago.

"Mm," she said.

"And no offense taken. I just wanted it clear before the train actually departs that my home is not Malfoy Manor."

"I wouldn't want Malfoy Manor, Severus."

"Mm."

"As long as we have room for our books…"

"We do."

She nodded then, resting her head against his shoulder again.

"And a bed?"

She saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed. His wasn't overly prominent, but with her head this close to his neck like this she saw it clearly.

"Just one?"

"That's all we need, isn't it?"

He nodded then. "I guess so."

Silence as the train started on its way to London.

"Hermione?" he whispered.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being brave enough to come after me."

She laughed softly. "At least you think I'm brave and not stupid."

"Oh, I might question your intellect on this for years to come, but it was still brave."

"Say that again."

"That it was brave?" he asked, sounding confused.

"No, the other part."

"That I might question your intellect for years to come?"

"Yeah, that."

"Mm, too much?"

"Not at all." In fact, it made her toes curl a bit that he thought that way.

"I shall endeavor to ensure you don't ever regret it."

"Me, too."

He chuckled softly, kissing the top of her head.

She said a silent thanks to Pomona. Her conversation with Rolanda and Poppy had to be intentional. Merlin, what if Minerva hadn't told anyone he left! Would she have thought he'd go to Spinner's End? She really wasn't sure. Most would say it was the last place they'd expect him to return to.

"I guess for once Minerva's habit of gossiping paid off."

"How did you know what I was thinking," she asked.

"I didn't. I just presumed she told you."

"Pomona did."

"Mm," he said.

"Severus," she whispered a few moments later.

"Yes?"

"Don't do that again."

"I am a rather loyal creature, if you haven't sussed that about me by now."

"I have. I'm just saying. The idea of never seeing you again…"

"I really thought it was for the best."

"Let me decide what's best for me."

"As you wish, my witch."

She smiled then with a soft hum, lifting her head from his shoulder to kiss him.

"Can we do that for the next nine hours?"

She shifted then, drawing her wand out so that she could make the bench seat wider. She slid her arms around his neck and tugged him (he went with her willingly), so they were lying on the enlarged seat with him on top of her.

"I think we can do more than that."

He placed a kiss against her jaw and ear and she let out a soft groan in response. He stopped, resting his cheek against hers.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Just realizing that my last trip on the Hogwarts Express is certainly going in a better direction than my first one did."

She reached for him, sliding her hands through his hair.

"No one will ever hurt or bully you again, Severus Snape. Not as long as I have breath in my body."

He nodded then, finding her lips with his again.

A flick of his hand and her cloak had been transfigured into a blanket and draped over them.

"Thank you," she murmured against his mouth. She wasn't really cold, but it was a nice touch. And, well, she imagined they'd probably drift in and out over the next several hours. It would be nice to do that under a blanket with him.

~The End~

Story ©Susan Falk/APCKRFAN/PhantomRoses.com