TITLE: Torn
AUTHOR: Susan / apckrfan
E-MAIL
DISTRIBUTION: My site, AO3, FanFiction.net, LiveJournal, Yahoo Groups. Anyone else, please just tell me where it's at.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters. They're owned by WB, CW, etc. No profit is made from this fic.
RATING: Mature Teen
SPOILERS: Through Season 5 Fragile (5x18) specifically (I haven't seen Season 6, so anything beyond Season 5 is speculation on my part)
SUMMARY: Lana doesn't run out after kissing Lex
CHARACTERS/PAIRING: Lana Lang & Lex Luthor
DATE STARTED: January 2007
STATUS: Complete
WORD COUNT: 1,002
FEEDBACK: Please, I can't write better without it.
NOTES: I admit, I'm not opposed to Lex & Lana, I actually kind of like them together. This is my first attempt at a Smallville fan fiction and their first kiss inspired.




For the first time in a long time I feel something. I can't remember when the last time that was the case. I was tired of Clark's freezing me out hurting so much that I eventually tuned out, closed down. It might have been before that, I'm really not sure. My life has been nothing resembling a cakewalk. Not that I'm complaining or think that I have it worse than anyone else.

Lex is one of those people who might very well have it worse than me. Despite all his money, access to anything in the world, he still craves more. He could have any woman in the world. Supermodels would surely flock to the Luthor mansion if he made it known he was on the market for a lifemate.

So, when his lips touched mine and I felt the spark I was shocked. I know I'm not the prettiest woman out there. To think I, Lana Lang, could evoke such tenderness from this man. I wonder briefly as his lips slowly pull away from mine if he's ever really known love. True love. Not the stuff people barter with or toss the words out casually like a change of underwear.

Could I be the one to give that to him? The possibility isn't as unappealing as it should be. Lex is Clark's friend. No matter where their friendship stands right now, I am sure they'll repair it at some point. Would Clark feel betrayed? Best friends didn't go after ex-girlfriends and vice versa. My last thought as I slide my arms around his neck to draw him toward me for another kiss.

Why should I care? He broke up with me, didn't he? He was never honest with me. From the beginning, there were lies and mistruths between us. I tried, wanted him to open up to me. How long was I supposed to wait for him to see the light? I don't have forever.

My hands find his shirt collar, which I unbutton. My fingers aren't accustomed to doing this. Clark didn't make a habit of wearing dress shirts. We both laugh into the kiss as I struggle with the buttons. He is all for letting me do it, though. If he's in a hurry he hides it well.

I'm in a hurry, though. I need him. I've known for a while we were dancing around something. I thought it was the uncomfortableness that was Clark. I never imagined it was mutual attraction.

I remove Lex's shirt. I push him to the couch nearby and straddle him. Our lips meet again, needy, hungry, wanting. We both know what we want, what we need. And it seems only we can provide it for one another.

Lana and Lex. It has a nice ring to it. I wonder, as our lips part almost at the same time, tongues beginning the intimate dance as old as time, how long he's wanted to do this. I've noticed for some time that he's an attractive man, but until tonight. Until this very moment, I can't honestly say that I noticed he harbored any feelings toward me.

Was I blind? Was he just that good at hiding? I imagine it's a little of both. I was so focused on Clark that I didn't want to see anybody but him.

"In the past," I murmur against his mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing," I whisper. Everything before tonight is in the past. There is no yesterday, only right now and whatever comes after it. I can live with that.

I probably deserve more than this as we begin to rid one another of our clothes. More than sex on his couch like some sleaze he picked up at a Metropolis club. I can't stop now, though. I need so badly it hurts. My heart feels heavy from it. My body is on fire for it.

"Tell me this is more," I whisper against his lips.

"It's everything," he whispers as his mouth finds my ear. I groan softly, pressing against him as his hand seeks out the curve of my breast.

That's all I need to hear. If I was anyone else, it could be a line, but Lex wouldn't lie to me. We've come too far, gone through too much together for there to be a lie of this magnitude between us.

"I want it all, Lex" I whisper, taking what he's offering while offering something of my own. I feel the shards around my heart begin to heal as I sink onto him, slowly, with care. I'm no longer torn. I cry out, tilting my head back as he slides to the hilt inside of me. This is the way to the future.

I ride him, slow at first, until neither of us can take it anymore. I collapse against him, feel his arms go around my waist, holding me against him. He's so gentle, considerate, things I've noticed about him before. I have time to think about just what he meant by it being everything. I won't hold him to anything. He made me feel, I'll always love him for that.

~The End~

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