TITLE: First Time
AUTHOR: Susan / apckrfan
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DISTRIBUTION: My site, AO3, FanFiction.net, LiveJournal, Yahoo Groups. Anyone else, please just tell me where it's at.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters they are Chris Carter's. No profit is made on this fic.
RATING: FRT/M
SPOILERS: Post-Providence (9x11)
SUMMARY: Shaken by the abduction and recovery of William, Scully visits Mulder for some much needed R&R.
CHARACTERS/PAIRING: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully
DATE STARTED: March 2002
STATUS: Complete
WORD COUNT: 3,741
FEEDBACK: Please, I can't write better without it.




Scully stood over the used crib, rubbing William's stomach lightly to get him to sleep. She couldn't believe how easy it had been to get William back. Almost too easy. She hadn't returned to the Bureau or to D.C., but had instead gone to Mulder leaving Agent Reyes to get back to D.C. herself. She knew she was taking a risk going to Mulder now but she had to go to him. They had been apart for far too long, Will wouldn't even know who Mulder was. That influenced her decision in part more than any other single factor. If something was going to happen to any of the three of them, she wanted Mulder to see William now that he was doing more than sleeping.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't alone in her apartment watching William sleep as she normally did. Of course, she wasn't always simply watching him. As a woman who never thought she'd have a child of her own to watch sleep, she did spend time doing just that. Sometimes, though, she watched wondering when the mobile would start to move without her having wound it.

Without looking behind her, she reached over her shoulder placing her hand over Mulder's hand resting at her shoulder. "He's beautiful, isn't he," she said without any evidence of her statement being a question in her voice.

"Should we take him to a doctor to make sure he's unhurt, Scully? I worry that they did something to him."

Scully shook her head slightly, leaning back against Mulder needing to feel his closeness at this moment. "They didn't want to hurt him, Mulder. They thought they were protecting him. But I looked him over and he seems unscathed, which is amazing given the brightness of the lights at the sight where we found him. His blankets were intact, weren't singed at all from the heat." She shrugged slightly. "I'm not a pediatrician, but he seems fine. His eyes were responsive and I know he hears me."

"All right," Mulder said softly, kissing the top of Scully's head incredibly relieved to have her here with him. The past few months had been miserable without her. "I don't think I have to ask for your word that if you notice something wrong you'll take him somewhere."

"No, you don't. I'd never knowingly harm or take chances with him, Mulder." She exhaled, feeling the rise in her pulse and the increase in her breathing, knowing that Mulder's being near was the cause of it.

Mulder squeezed her shoulder lightly, moving her hand from underneath hers. "Let's see about getting you something to eat and to bed yourself. You said he sleeps through the nights now, right?"

"Yes, he does. He has for a while now, Mulder," she turned to him and smiled slightly.

Mulder could read the relief in her eyes, and was glad to see it there.

"I'm sorry I've missed those things," he said sincerely. He was more sorry he'd missed out on time with Scully when they'd both finally come to terms with the fact William was theirs. As well as coming to terms with how they felt for one another. Never would Mulder have imagined falling in love with Dana Scully if someone had told him he would when first they met nine years ago. Never would Mulder have imagined admitting his feelings for Scully honestly and not be able to act upon them. Mulder, unfortunately, remembered nothing of their night together, a night he knew now went toward creating William. He hoped, though, that Scully might be ready to help him remember.

***

Scully finished the sandwich Mulder had made for her. It wasn't much, but he hadn't been expecting company so she was admittedly amazed that he had fresh turkey breast and Swiss cheese in his refrigerator. It had been a long few days, from everything leading up to William's kidnapping to Agent Doggett getting hurt, finding William, and taking the brave step to come here to Mulder.

She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and not wake up until she absolutely had to. At least she had thought far enough ahead to stop at a store far enough away from here to pick up things they'd need for William. She was curious just what Mulder did out here by himself, and whether or not having her and William here would disrupt his life somehow.

"Finished," Mulder asked? He was hoping to bring her out of whatever thoughts she was having. She looked so serious. "I'm sorry I don't have much else. I can go to the store tomorrow and get you whatever you need."

"It was fine, Mulder. You don't have to apologize."

"You are staying for a while, aren't you? Now that you're here, you can see I was at least a little prepared for William. I bought that crib and I have some baby food and stuff in the cupboards. All fruits and a few vegetables like sweet potatoes. I'm glad you brought diapers with you though. I didn't buy any not wanting them to be too small when you came. I have some cloth ones but," he scrunched his nose slightly, "I think disposables are easier."

Scully laughed lightly. "You're right. I used cloth ones for a little while, but they're not very practical."

There were so many questions Mulder wanted to ask about both Scully and their son, but he didn't even know where to start. Was he eating baby food yet? Was he doing anything that he was supposed to be doing by his age yet? He had read some books on babies and their first year of development and knew William should at least be sitting up by now. But now that Scully had finished her sandwich and the bottle of beer she had decided upon, questions about their son flew from his mind. Instead, he was more concerned about her. He liked what pregnancy had done to her figure. She had filled out in all the right places and actually slimmed down in places that surprised him. Of course caring for a baby virtually by herself might have contributed to that happening.

He set the plate in the sink, he'd get to washing it later. Walking up behind her, he placed his hands again on her shoulder happy that this time she didn't jump at the contact. He had felt like an idiot earlier by the crib feeling her react so violently to his touch. Had he blown his chances of a future with Scully by leaving? Didn't she know that he didn't want to leave? He wanted to be in D.C. defending both William and her from whoever they needed defending against. Had she not encouraged him to leave, no encouraged was too light a word. She had basically demanded he leave, not wanting to risk losing both Mulder and her son. He understood her feelings and he had chosen to abide by her wishes, temporarily. But that didn't mean he had wanted to leave, that he didn't want her. If they were able to have William, maybe there were one or two more miracles to come between the two of them, and he wanted to give that a chance.

Mulder was brought out of his thoughts by Scully taking one of his hands and bringing it lower. She released it, letting it fall to her breast. He wasn't sure if he was misreading her or not, wasn't sure how else he could interpret such an action. "Scully," he said hoarsely. He had thought of this for a long time now, what it would be like between the two of them. He felt horrible he couldn't remember, that it was before he had been abducted.

"Can we just not talk about this right now, Mulder?"

She still hadn't turned to face him, which he was glad of right now because he was sure he was blushing from her frankness. Not that women wanting his company was an odd thing, but this was Scully. She was his partner and his friend. He wondered briefly how many men she had been with, and how he compared to them. He also wondered how the new Mulder would compare to the old Mulder. He only cared about what Scully thought on that now, but she had something to compare to.

Scully stood from the table and pushed the chair under the table so she could stand in front of Mulder. She moved her body against his. "I need to know you still want me, Mulder."

Mulder read the raw emotion on her face and in her eyes and realized what she was asking, what she was wanting. He could talk until he was blue in the face about wanting to be a father to William and to be there for her. But after having a baby, and in the rough way Will had been born, she needed physical reassurance that he wanted her. As if there was any doubt, but he would never understand how the minds of women worked. And he didn't bother to try and claim any knowledge about women who've had babies and what their mindset about sex would be.

"Scully," he said softly before leaning towards her. He closed the slight distance between them quickly, his mouth covering hers in a passionate kiss.

He was startled by the demand and the need behind her kiss, but responded to her need with that of his own. He felt her lips part as his arms encircled her waist drawing her closer against him. She was so soft against him, so willing and accepting and he had all he could do to remember that they were in his kitchen and that this wasn't just some woman he could take in such a way and not feel bad about it later. Though with the eagerness her hands were reaching into the waist of his jeans to untuck his T-shirt, he wasn't so sure she'd mind his doing it like that.

He laughed lightly as his shirt got stuck and she grew frustrated.

"Problems, Scully," he asked as he broke his embrace to shuck his shirt, letting it fall to kitchen floor. He smiled as she looked at him. "I haven't turned green, have I?"

"No," she smiled widely, her eyes moving from their appreciative stare at his chest to his face. "I just can't believe I'm really here. That I'm not dreaming. Even the first time seems like it's a dream now."

He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles lightly. "You're not dreaming, Scully. And I hope that the third time and all the others will come rather quickly after the second."

She laughed lightly. "Well, we have at least tonight to work on the second."

"Don't talk like that," he said softly, kissing her again to stop her from saying anymore. His mouth found her neck and throat as he worked to unbutton the buttons along the front of her blouse.

Scully stopped his hand once he'd undone the first few buttons from the neck. "Let's go to your room, Mulder," she whispered.

Mulder took a deep intake of breath, the back of his hand brushing over a breast through her blouse front. Wordlessly, he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom. He hadn't expected company and that much was obvious from the clothes scattered on the floor by his clothes basket. He couldn't help that he wasn't Michael Jordan and missed his clothes basket from the doorway leading to his bathroom more often than not. At least the clothes were scattered in such a pattern to suggest he at least got close.

His bed was unmade, but he had at least washed the sheets the day before. Otherwise, his bedroom was remiss of anything personal save a picture of the three of them: Scully, Mulder, and William that had been taken before he left. He looked around briefly, thinking his existence was rather pathetic, but with Scully here on his bed with him it all seemed for a decent enough reason.

Scully reached for him, her arms going around his neck drawing him to her. She kissed him deeply.

Mulder worked the buttons on her blouse and broke the kiss they were engaged in as he parted the cotton fabric exposing her abdomen and her breasts still shrouded by her bra. She had always been a well endowed woman, but either it was his imagination or pregnancy had increased their size and then some. He ran his hand over her stomach, amazed that Will had been there just months ago. He realized, too, that with the way his birth had happened even if she could have had more children she might not be able to after that experience.

"Mulder," Scully said, watching him curiously.

There was a hint of uncertainty and questioning in her eyes, and Mulder couldn't help but smile at her. "Just admiring, Scully. I've never seen you like this." He brought his mouth to the top of her breasts and began to kiss and lightly trail his tongue along her skin there.

"Mulder," Scully said again, but her tone was entirely different this time.

Mulder smiled slightly, though she couldn't see it since his mouth was moving lower along the curve of her breast. He reached underneath her to work the clasp of her bra and groaned softly when he felt it unhook. Now as soon as he got her out of her blouse, the bra could go too and he'd be free to touch her. She seemed to want him to as much as he wanted to, so he wasted no time removing the blouse and then the bra. He dropped both over the side of the bed without taking his eyes off of Scully.

Scully's hands moved to his shoulders, encouraging his kisses even lower still. Mulder took the hint and took first one nipple and then the other into his mouth, sucking first slow and gentle. Scully's hands stroking his own nipples caused him to suck a little harder. He remembered sex the actual process hadn't been forgotten, but he couldn't recall his body reacting quite so easily and so quickly to anyone before. Her breasts felt so full and warm in his mouth, if it hadn't been months he might have been content to do just this for a while. But neither of them seemed content with just this, and he wasn't going to disappoint either of them.

He slowly unzipped her trousers, feeling her abdomen under the palm of his hand tense. Was she really that uncertain or afraid he wasn't going to find her attractive? God, he felt horrible for husbands and lovers all over the place if this is how every woman who'd had a baby acted. It was hard to concentrate on not screwing up. And what was strange was she had no scars, at least none that were visible to him. If she'd had a C-section, he could understand but as his kisses moved from her breast lower to her abdomen he encountered nothing but smooth flesh.

Scully's soft moan and the arching of her back gave Mulder an indication he wasn't screwing up in Scully's mind so far. That was good. His mouth traced a series of kisses lower along her abdomen without hesitation. As he pushed her trousers over her hips he realized thanks to the low light the bedside lamp gave off that she did have some marks. He didn't give them any thought, and other than the minute it took him to work her trousers over her hips and along her thighs he gave no hesitation about returning to kissing her there.

His kisses moved to her upper thigh and then inward. He didn't need to do anything to encourage her to part her legs further Scully did it all on her own. Mulder took his time, kissing the inner part of both of her thighs thoroughly before sliding her panties off, tossing them on the floor with her other clothes. He knelt before her and closed his eyes briefly, wanting to commit this particular image to memory. He hoped, God forbid, something was to happen to one of them he'd never forget what she looked like just then. She was excited and he wasn't vain enough to believe it was solely from what he was doing to her causing it. "God, Scully," he managed to get out. His throat was dry and he was still sort of amazed that they were doing this.

Scully opened her eyes and lowered her hands from his chest to his jeans, working the buttons of his fly and parting the fly once they had been unfastened. "I need you, Mulder," she said after a moment's hesitation.

Mulder would have liked to have continued with what he was doing, to bring about her climax with his mouth. At the same time, though, she was asking him to make love to her and he was certainly ready to do just that. He had hesitated taking off his jeans until now, because he didn't want to rush her. He had to admit, as he stood from the bed briefly to remove his jeans and boxers that he was incredibly aroused at the moment. The fact of his arousal couldn't have been missed by Scully either as he moved onto the bed, kneeling above her now naked. Christ, he hoped he wouldn't hurt her, but he imagined she would have to know whether or not this was a good idea.

He placed his hands in hers, gripping them slightly as he entered her. He gave her a chance to protest, vocally or physically, but she didn't and so he kissed her, releasing her hands so that he could explore her body once more.

Mulder could tell that Scully was holding back to some extent. The sounds she made while encouraging were so hesitant, he found himself encouraging her with words of his own to be more forthcoming. He wasn't thinking about waking up William, he just knew that he wanted her to let go. He hoped that if she did she would get over this uncertainty she had about his desire for her, his own need for her.

Scully's hands reached for his, gripping them like he had done hers when he first entered her. She called out his name as she squeezed his hands. Mulder could tell by her breathing and the flush on her face and neck that she was almost there. Wanting to push her over the edge, to bring about her peak so that he, too, could reach his without feeling he hadn't satisfied her, he moved to her breasts. His mouth kissed and sucked on each nipple, gently at first and growing more intense as he tried to encourage her body to reach its climax.

Mulder reached his climax shortly after Scully reached hers. He felt her tighten around him inside of her and moved to nip at her neck lightly, unable to hold off any longer. He couldn't help it, it was a compulsion he couldn't fight off at that exact moment.

Their hands still joined together, as were their bodies for the moment, Mulder spread their arms out to either side of them instead of above their heads and kissed her, biting her lower lip lightly. "How was that for letting you know how glad I am to see you," he asked teasingly as he brushed his lightly stubbled cheek over hers. He pulled back slightly, though he made no effort to pull out of her just yet. "I am glad to see you, Scully, with or without what just happened."

"I know, Mulder. I am, too." She slowly uncurled her fingers from being intertwined with his and brought her arms around his neck. "It was a wonderful hello. Rates right up there with the sandwich you fed me."

"Oh it does, does it," he asked, nuzzling against her hair gently. "I'll remember that the next time you come visit. No more turkey for you."

"Just as long as it's the turkey you hold out on me with."

"I don't think I could hold this out on you. Over a year is long enough, thank you."

"It has been that long hasn't it," she asked almost incredulously. She pushed her head back into the pillow beneath her, drawing herself away from him slightly. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." Mulder kissed her chin lightly. "I love you, Scully."

"Oh, Mulder," she whispered, her voice catching. "I love you, too."

Mulder pulled his bedspread over them before he moved from on top of her. He brought her against him, her head at his chest sensing she was tired and ready for sleep. He was too, but he sensed somehow that whatever it was that had brought her here to him had worn her down. Making love with him had probably been about the last of the physical exertion she could take until passing out. Not that it was a bad way to make a girl pass out on you, he couldn't help but think.

He smoothed down her hair, his hand caressing from the ends of her hair to her shoulder lightly. Through the open doorway, he heard the soft coos of their son overlapping with the sounds of her breathing becoming heavier. What a sound, the sounds of his son and the mother of that son sleeping. Mulder couldn't help but think on what a lucky man he was. With those thoughts and the fact that for the first time in his life after sex he remembered feeling completely satisfied and at peace, Mulder himself drifted off to sleep.

~The End~

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