End March 1998

He entered the apartment and knew instantly she had been there. He came here to store things he wanted to keep hidden from Dru and Roller Boy. There was no telling what type of trouble Spike got into when Angelus was out nights feeding. Angelus knew better than to trust either one of them and if they found evidence that he had been within striking distance of his Slayer more than once he would never hear the end of it. Spike was already getting vocal about Angelus allowing his Slayer to still walk around Sunnydale.

{Because you love her like I do.}

"You'd like to believe that," he hissed in response to Soul Boy's interruption. Just as he had lurked inside Soul Boy all along, Angelus now had to deal with Soul Boy and his sappy thoughts. It had taken Soul Boy decades, and a beautiful blonde Slayer, to successfully push Angelus down deep enough to where Angelus knew he was talking only to himself most of the time. Hopefully, it would not take Angelus that long to quell the tiresome Soul Boy.

He walked to the bed that they had shared over a month ago, a relatively short time to him. Granted, it probably felt like an eternity to his Slayer, but to Angelus it was just a drop in the bucket. Particularly after one hundred years of being caged in and tempered by Soul Boy. Angelus ran his hand along the still warm bedding that reeked of her, which meant that she had not left too long ago. "Well, hello, Lover," he purred, his lips curling into a predatory smirk.

{Face it, you knew she had been here, that's why you came, not to hide some drawings.}

"Fuck off," he hissed and pulled the piece of ivory parchment from his pocket defiantly. He slid the framed picture from the wall and worked the combination for the safe located in the wall behind it, placing the drawing in it with the other things he wanted to keep hidden from Drusilla.

He pulled one of the drawings from the safe, his favorite piece thus far. It was a fictional rendering, of course, Soul Boy had only been with his Slayer the once, so there had been no time for fun and games. It had not been difficult for Angelus to envision what his Slayer would look like dressed in a corset, a pair of stockings attached to a garter and high heels. The drawing was in pencil so there was no color, but there did not need to be. His Slayer would be dressed completely in black, the corset leather, of course, and the laces would be tied as securely as Angelus could tie them without rendering her unconscious. Her arms were stretched out to either side, leather cuffs around each wrist attached to chains. What the chains were attached to was not in the picture, but Angelus could picture the ceiling above his bed clearly. Her eyes were what Angelus found most impressive about the piece because they sparkled with mischief and pleasure. Angelus had not drawn fear or hatred or loathing in his Slayer's eyes for some reason.

"The cuffs would be padded with velvet," he said almost reverently, tracing the penciled outline of his lover. His hand dropped to the front of his black leather pants and he groaned as he touched his hardening cock. He balked at the idea of protecting, pampering, or offering her comfort. "Velvet lining for the cuffs, indeed. Get out of my head, Soul Boy."

{You know she deserves the velvet.}

"No," he howled again. Angelus was fully aware of what his Slayer deserved. Leather and the cool links of a metal chain against bare skin. Of course, he noticed Soul Boy did not protest about the leather or chains, merely that her wrists be protected from chaffing. "She was good, wasn't she," he murmured.

{Not that you told her so.}

"Because the bitch doesn't need to know," he roared, pushing Soul Boy further down. Of course, his secret would likely be revealed once she found out that Soul Boy had achieved his one moment of true happiness in one hundred years with her. It was not the act of making love to her that Soul Boy had been truly happy about, but the trust she had placed in him. In Soul Boy. She had let him bite her, had given Soul Boy complete control, and had let Soul Boy be dominant, which was really Angelus' game not Soul Boy's but it was still a matter of trust. Soul Boy for one hundred years had been afraid of letting loose and instead had become the pansy that Spike so appropriately called ‘The Big Poof'.

He placed the drawing back in the safe, slamming it shut and spinning the dial to lock it before putting the framed picture back on the wall. Angelus did not find it unsettling that Buffy had free reign to this apartment or that he trusted her over his childe and her childe. He had found no evidence of her rifling through his things. She slept on the bed, used the shower, but otherwise left the apartment alone.

He had howled in horror the first time he discovered she had been there and obviously had plans on returning. He had found a bottle of shampoo in the shower and a few sets of clothes in the nightstand by the bed, all of which belonged to her. He had laughed sardonically at the idea of her missing Soul Boy so much that she sought solace here. Of all places they had spent time together she had chosen this place, the place where together they had released Angelus. Maybe she was a glutton for punishment, maybe she enjoyed the painful memories of the hurtful words Angelus had bestowed upon her. Angelus really did not care, but he had for some unexplained reason left her things where he found them. Everyone deserved solitude once in a while. So long as she did not come here when Angelus required the same thing he would not challenge her.

He turned to leave and paused at the door, his hand resting on the knob. Without thinking Angelus shed his leather duster followed by the crimson silk shirt he wore leaving him in just his V-neck white cotton T-shirt. He shrugged back into his duster before placing the shirt over the pillows on the bed, one still bore the indention from her head and he left the apartment.

It was not until he was in the cemetery about an hour later watching her that Angelus realized what he had done by leaving the shirt behind. He was not normally so careless and now his Slayer would know he had been to the apartment. Would she suspect he had been there more than once? "Damn you," he muttered to all three of them knowing only himself and Soul Boy could hear. His lover was too far away and otherwise occupied to notice, let alone hear, him.

He recognized the vamp she was currently in battle with as being one of his minions and grew furious. What in the hell was he doing fighting her? He had made it very clear that no one was to touch her.

{Apparently, they're not as loyal as you think.}

"Shut up," he hissed, game face falling into place. He clenched his fists tightly in anger at both Soul Boy and the minion that dared defy him. If his Slayer did not dust the insolent fool, Angelus would make sure the torture lasted for days before he actually dusted him. She was his to do with as he pleased.

Unfortunately, he was not sure yet what would please him. Turning her into Drusilla would be nowhere near as satisfying as it had with Drusilla. He had yet to decide just what he wanted for his Slayer, but to drive her mad was definitely not it.

Angelus watched from a distance, sensing when his Slayer picked up on his presence during her fight against the pathetic excuse for a minion. Apparently, the connection they shared had nothing to do with the soul, because Angelus was always aware when his Slayer was nearby, too.

His eyes drifted from the minion to his Slayer, finding the view of her far more appealing. She was dressed in an outfit he remembered well from the night Soul Boy had told her about driving Drusilla insane before turning her on the day she took her holy orders. The cream knit like top with off the shoulder sleeves and a pair of spaghetti straps made it difficult for Angelus to choose between focusing on her jugular or the expanse of skin the top left open for perusal.

She looked glorious as she fought, as the warrior for the side of good should. Her white top and blonde hair emphasized her goodness and was a direct contrast to the creature of the night he was dressed in black leather pants and a black leather duster with his hair dark. Despite knowing Angelus was nearby, she did not waiver aside from the brief pause he had noticed moments ago. He doubted the minion was aware of it it had been so quick, so subtle, but Angelus knew her well and he knew. He could understand how Soul Boy had fallen under her spell, but all Angelus could think of was how wonderful and warm her blood would taste flooding down his throat in a rush.

He walked toward her when the minion had been dispensed with, clapping his hands unnecessarily to announce his presence. "Well done, Lover."

"One of yours?"

"Ashamedly," he said sardonically, glancing at the spot where the minion had been staked. The dust had already scattered across the cemetery lawn into the night.

She crossed her arms over her chest, stake clutched in her right hand. "So what brings you by?" she asked, her voice sounding too tired for Angelus' liking. He took a deep intake of breath, taking in her scent. He sensed no fear in her, which was more than a little insulting. He smelled exhaustion and something else that he could not put his finger on. Something was off with his Slayer, and with that realization he knew tonight was not the night to make any decisions on what he would do with her. When he decided he wanted her in peak shape or the outcome would be less than satisfying.

"Just out for a stroll," he said lazily, brushing something non-existent off his leather duster's sleeve.

"You've fed," she said simply and he was a little surprised she looked that closely at him.

"And you took longer to dispense of my minion than you should have. A down night, Lover?" She shrugged and Angelus felt Soul Boy trying to claw his way to the top when she glanced at her shoes. He gave into part of Soul Boy's desire to find out what was wrong and pressed on - without the physical embrace Soul Boy wanted to give her. "Not feeling well then? You are looking a little haggard."

She scoffed as her head shot up to glare at him, fury in her hazel eyes. "As if I have no reason to feel and look haggard it's not like my boyfriend's gone off on a killing spree."

"Still consider me your boyfriend, Lover? How quaint," he said, his gaze falling to her left hand devoid of the ring Soul Boy had given her the night of her birthday over a month ago. He growled violently, surprised to find that he was upset about that not Soul Boy. "I should be touched, but it really makes me rather nauseous," he said bitingly.

She took a step back and he laughed. "I didn't come here to fight, Lover. Not tonight. I was, honestly, just out for a stroll and thought I'd come say hello. I would have offered you a hand, but," he shrugged, human disguise dropping back into place gracing her with one of Soul Boy's best innocent, tortured boy looks, "I really don't feel like killing my own kind anymore."

"No, you're too busy killing humans and making more work for me."

"You sound bitter, Lover. I would think the Slayer would like knowing she'll never be out of a job."

"Never is a long time. Even your kind should know never isn't permanent, Lover," she said, the effort at a comeback was weak and Angelus knew it. The spark in her eyes was nowhere near as bright as it normally was and he was still puzzled by the off feeling he got from her.

"As charming as this conversation is, I have places to be," he said with a deep, forced sigh.

"Yeah, like the sun coming up. I wish I could say I'm sorry to see you go," she said, but again the comeback was said weakly. Part of the reason he had no desire to kill her just yet was that he enjoyed their little bantering sessions. He found them invigorating. True, he enjoyed taunting her, particularly on nights like tonight when he had recently fed. She had to be wondering where his food source had been discarded.

"Until we meet again, Lover," he said. He pulled her to him quickly and kissed her severely before releasing her just as fast. "I'd wish you pleasant dreams, but then I wouldn't be in them," he said tauntingly before he departed into the darkness, very aware the sun was dreadfully close to rising.

***Part 2***

"So, she loves Soul Boy so much she's on a date with someone else five weeks later," Angelus said with a low growl when he spotted his Slayer at the Bronze. He had discarded the barely pubescent boy that had served as his meal in the darkened alleyway with little thought after seeing his Slayer with another. Did she not understand she was his? Had Soul Boy picked a whore, too? There would be a bittersweet irony there if he had, particularly since Soul Boy had killed Darla for his Slayer.

He lurked under the stairs, remaining in the shadows while Buffy and her companions settled at a table near the dance floor. The three boys went up to the bar and Angelus scowled as they talked and smiled while waiting to place their orders. So Buffy's little club liked her date, which was more than they ever did where Soul Boy was concerned. Willow had liked him, but she had never lost that tenseness around him as if she was never altogether certain he would not bite her. He was tempted to go talk to him, the date, and warn him away from his Slayer. Willow's wolf boyfriend probably would take a visit from Angelus in stride, but Xander would not. And Angelus was in no mood to cause a scene tonight. He was here to watch, curious as to just how far his Slayer would go on this date.

He turned his attentions to the table the group had chosen and the three girls sitting at it. The bitch and Willow were talking animatedly, but Buffy did not look all that excited about being there. She had a smile on her face and she was nodding as if listening, but her eyes gave away her lack of enthusiasm. She bobbed her head to the music, but Angelus could tell her heart was not in it. If Angelus spotted it from across a darkened club, he had no idea how it escaped the notice of her friends. So, why was she out on a date then? Perhaps this was an effort to get over him, like he would ever let his Slayer get over him or move on.

He cocked his head to the side as the dark haired friend tossed her head back with a laugh. God how he hated Cordelia, always hitting on Soul Boy and making snide comments to and about his Slayer, as if that cunt could hold a candle to his Slayer. The bitch thought she was all high and mighty and look at who she ended up dating, Xander Harris. Angelus had gotten a good laugh when he heard that. He wondered how it felt to be second best to Buffy yet again, because there was no doubt in Angelus' mind that Xander would love a piece of his Slayer.

He saw his Slayer scan the crowd periodically, but her eyes never found him and he wondered if it was intentional on her part. Did she want him to know she was aware of his presence but did not want to give him the satisfaction of making eye contact with him? He saw another vamp or two in the crowd, but was confident his Slayer was not hunting tonight. Why exactly he cared that she had a date Angelus could not say, but it made him rage inside. Soul Boy should not have been so easily replaced. Angelus felt a possessive growl begin deep in his chest when he saw the boy place her drink in front of her and she offered him a smile. It was not one of her best smiles, but it was still a smile she was bestowing on a man that was not her mate.

"See how much she loves you," he spat to Soul Boy as he watched his Slayer get up to dance with her date. He had not meant to say the words aloud and glared at a person walking by who dared look at him. While still in his human face, the demon was dreadfully close to the surface so Angelus was sure his eyes were a frightening yellow at that moment. The boy scampered off quickly and Angelus felt a rush from the smell of fear on the boy. It was a good thing the boy ran, too, because as his Slayer stepped closer to her date on the dance floor Angelus felt like killing them all.

Buffy was dressed rather conservatively tonight, so Angelus suspected she was not out to get laid. This was a good thing, because she would find herself underneath the body of a dead date, his spinal cord ripped out of his body through his skull if the boy dared touch her. Her blonde hair was pulled back with one of those elastic scrunchie things that were so popular and she wore black capri pants with a white cropped top that fell to her navel. The smile was still fake, the eyes still vacant, and Angelus got a perverse sense of pleasure knowing he was the cause.

Angelus slid his gaze from the couple on the dance floor to the two couples seated at the table. Willow and Cordelia were focused on Buffy while their dates were talking, neither seemed to pay Buffy or her date much attention. Willow had a look of apprehension and unease about her, Angelus wondered if she was aware that he was there. Had his Slayer told her best friend that Angelus was there watching them?

Angelus was out the door of the Bronze in a matter of seconds once he saw the boy place a hand against her bare back. It was either leave or kill him for laying a hand on his mate, but the Bronze was not the place for their confrontation so Angelus chose to leave. When it happened it would be just the two of them with no friends and no audience. Angelus would have it no other way. He paused at the door and looked over his shoulder, feeling her eyes at his back. His game face dropped into place and he ran his tongue over his fangs, offering her a wink before he strode out the door into the night.

A spot of violence would do him some good about now. He had some energy and anger to burn off. The bitch dared let another lay a hand on her. At least she did not dance with him like she had Harris a while ago, Angelus was not sure he could have stopped himself from killing every last person in the club if she had behaved like that again. How Soul Boy had tolerated that act of blatant defiance Angelus never understood.

"You were whipped is why," he cursed under his breath.

{And you're not?}

Angelus merely growled in response to Soul Boy's rebuttal. He was not whipped; no woman - human or vampire - had Angelus by the balls. He just was not sure the world would be better off without his Slayer in it yet.

A basketball game was letting out about the time he passed by the high school, so Angelus had his choice of dinner entrees just then. He bypassed two or three before settling on a boy who bore a striking resemblance to his Slayer's date for the evening.

"Excuse me," he said approaching the student. He smelled of dandruff shampoo and deodorant soap, so this boy was apparently one of the players and not just a spectator. All the better, particularly since his locker was in a remote area of the school compared to the others he had briefly eyed.

"Yeah," the kid looked up from putting on his letterman's jacket in front of his locker.

"I was hoping you could show me the way to the library, I'm supposed to pick up my girlfriend there."

"You must be talking about Buffy."

"You know Buffy?" Angelus said with what he hoped was enthusiasm, though he really wanted to wipe the linoleum floor with the boy's face. Why did he assume Angelus was talking about Buffy?

"Well, no, not really, but she's the only girl that would be hanging out in the library on game night. If you ask me," he said, lowering his voice in a conspiratorial tone, "you need to keep an eye out on that librarian."

"Rupert," Angelus said with a low growl, though he was sort of amused that someone would think that way about ol' Rupert.

"I don't know what his first name is, but they spend a lot of time together if you know what I mean."

"Why don't you tell me about it while you show me where the library is?" Angel prompted, wanting to get the boy into the quiet and empty library soon. What a nice little present this would be for Rupert in the morning.

"Hey, man, I don't mean anything, honestly, but you're older so she obviously goes for older guys," the boy said as he headed toward the library.

"I'm not worried about it," Angelus said sincerely as he was, in fact, not worried about Rupert. Angelus imagined the relationship his Slayer and her Watcher had probably did look questionable to some people, but he understood it. Angelus was more worried about the young man currently at the Bronze putting the moves on his mate.

Dispensing of this boy while not as satisfying as doing so to the actual date Angelus knew would drive his point home to his Slayer. The resemblance between her date and this boy would not be lost on her, or at least Willow if his Slayer was slow catching on. And if she did not get the hint that she was not to date another Angelus would just start paying visits to the actual dates. Sooner or later, she would stop.

"Well, the library's right down there," the boy said gesturing down the hallway.

"Hey, thanks," Angelus said, turning to look down the hallway. He turned back to face the boy. "I appreciate it," he said before moving to clasp the boy's shoulder with his hand.

"No problem," the boy said just as Angelus dropped his human disguise and moved in for the kill.

The boy screamed, it was really more of a squeal, and jerked against Angelus trying to fight him off. But Angelus was far stronger than the boy was and the boy's struggles merely bore his neck further to Angelus, allowing him to sink his fangs in deeper. He fed heartily, greedily, a wave of euphoria washing over him when he heard the snap of the boy's neck as he broke it. How he had missed this, that packeted blood that Soul Boy had lived on the past few years was atrocious. For years Soul Boy had lived off rats and other unmentionables, which were nowhere near as satisfying as the real thing, but it was at least fresh and warm, making him feel alive however briefly.

He lifted the now dead boy into his arms and carried him to the library, laying him to rest on one of the tables. Rupert might not be the first to find the body, Angelus was not sure when the custodian would come through to clean the library, but Rupert would most certainly be called when the body was discovered. Rupert would, in turn, call his Slayer upon the news and Angelus' message would still get delivered.

Just to be sure his Slayer and her Watcher would know without the shadow of a doubt it was him, Angelus found some paper and wrote "Thinking of you, Lover" in the boy's blood, securing it to the boy by driving a nearby pencil tip first into the boy's chest. Pleased with his handiwork and well fed, Angelus left Sunnydale High School to return to the factory.

***Part 3***

Angelus was growing more furious by the minute. Three nights now he had scoured Sunnydale looking for his Slayer and three nights he had not seen her. He had seen her do gooder friends, but no sign of his Slayer and he was not exactly in a position to ask where she was. He focused on the emotion he could identify with best, fury, dismissing the others, like concern, attributing those to Soul Boy. He chose to believe his Slayer and her friends were deliberately toying with him over there being something actually wrong with his mate.

One thing Angelus was confident of, he would know with every fiber of his being if his Slayer was dead. He did not need the soul or a beating heart to have such a connection to her. He had no doubt the reverse was true and that she would know if her beloved Angel was no more. He did not dwell on why they had such a connection or how, it was one part of Soul Boy's one hundred year reign that Angelus accepted.

He stood outside the front of her house, smoking a cigarette watching for some sign of movement in the house. Where was she? Joyce's Jeep was not on the driveway and the house was dark. It had been this way the prior night, too. It was too early for her to be sleeping but she was not patrolling or at the Bronze. He had seen her friends there, which was what sent Angelus to Buffy's house. One night seeing them at the Bronze sans Slayer was not altogether unusual, but three nights in a row was.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Angelus walked to the back door and went inside. It had been a while since he had entered the house this way instead of via her bedroom window. In truth, Soul Boy had rarely entered his mate's home this way. He took a moment to take in his surroundings, smelling the air to be assured there was no one else here. His Slayer was not here either, which meant she was not here with the boy. Angelus had sort of hoped that had been the case so that he could torment Soul Boy just a bit more. "Oh well," he murmured.

He walked through the dining room and went upstairs taking the steps two at a time. The nightlight in the bathroom was on and Angelus took in the sight before him. The toilet seat was up, which sent him into a jealous rage considering no men lived in the Summers' home. His jealous rage was tempered a bit as the rancid stench that came from someone getting ill assaulted his nose. Towels were spread out and arranged on the floor around the base of the toilet as if someone had been lying there. Clearly, the toilet seat was up because someone had been retching into it, and with some regularity it would appear from the setup of the towels in the bathroom.

The light in her bedroom was off when he entered it, unsurprising given she was not at home, but still he knew there was something wrong. Her room while not military neat in general was in a state of disarray. Her bed was unmade, clothes were on the floor, dresser drawers remained ajar and her closet doors were open as well. It looked as if she had left in a hurry and that sent Angelus into a rage based on fury not jealousy. Was she trying to escape him? Had his gift the other night at the high school sent her running? Did she not realize that if he wanted her dead he would come after her, not kill innocent school boys who happened to look similar to her date?

He took a quick inventory of her things, a few were missing but nothing more than a few days worth had been taken. A return to the bathroom told him that all of her toiletries were there. What seventeen-year-old girl would leave without taking hairspray and makeup?

A tour of Joyce's bedroom only served to confuse Angelus further. Joyce had obviously prepared for her trip. More than a few days worth of clothes were missing and her bathroom was devoid of the toiletry items Angelus would have found there.

"Where in the hell is she?" he roared in frustration.

A fairly thorough search of the house revealed nothing beyond the fact that Joyce had prepared for her departure and Buffy had not. If Spike had organized a raiding party on his Slayer behind his back he would see that the fiasco at the abandoned church was a moment of pleasure for Spike by the time Angelus finished with him.

He let himself out the front door not bothering with discretion since it appeared Joyce at least was not coming back tonight. He stood on the front lawn and lit a cigarette, taking a drag off of it while he contemplated where his Slayer could be. He did not like the dread he felt at the idea that something had actually happened to her. Her friends were at the Bronze, which left her Watcher's house or the library. Both good places to start his search for her.

The school netted him little information beyond the fact that she and Giles were not there. Angelus had entered the library through the stacks, so he was certain neither his Slayer nor her Watcher was hidden among them. It did not take Angelus long to walk to Giles' townhouse once he left the school. He stood in the courtyard, leaning against a tree as he peered through the Watcher's living room window. Light emitted from the living room, but there was no movement apparent.

He tossed his cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it, twisting his foot to crush it into oblivion as he debated the wisdom of standing outside the house of a more than likely pissed off Watcher. Angelus doubted either his Slayer or her Watcher would expect Angelus to show up at Rupert's house so he felt fairly safe from a staking tonight.

His head jerked up when he saw movement inside Rupert's house. He hated that he was relieved to see her, even if it was evident that his mate was not well. She walked sluggishly from the direction of the bathroom or Rupert's kitchen, holding something over her face. The tree branch he had been holding snapped under the pressure of his grip when he saw her stumble and fall out of view.

{Get to her now.}

"On it, Soul Boy," he hissed in response, only to see Rupert come from the same direction Buffy had walked from a moment ago. He stopped and stood at the window and let out a low but nonetheless primal growl when he saw her lying on the floor. "Buffy," he bit out for once feeling helpless that the soul was gone. His mate was lying on the floor and he needed to know what was wrong with her.

"Angel?" he heard her call out when Rupert wiped her brow with the cloth she had been holding over her face. He growled softly at her use of Soul Boy's name, but was pleased to know that it was still his touch she sought.

"No, Buffy, it's Giles," her Watcher said, in a tone Angelus imagined was intended to be soothing but Angelus found more patronizing than anything.

"I'm okay, Giles, I'm sorry," she said sitting up with Rupert's assistance.

"It's okay, Buffy, but I really think that you need to swallow your pride and talk to Angel about this. I've looked through my books and contacted those I can trust, but have come up with nothing. I realize it's early on yet, but you're continuing to get worse every day."

"I refuse to talk to him about this, Giles, he's not Angel anymore."

"He's the same man, Buffy," Rupert corrected and Angelus had to smile at the Watcher's assertion of the truth.

"No, he's not. That demon is not my boyfriend, Giles. I refuse to talk to that," she stammered, "that thing about this."

Angelus growled again upon hearing her describe him as a thing. Her mate was no longer a man now but a thing? He would show her the next time he found her alone just how much of a man he was capable of being.

"But Buffy, my research has come up with nothing and we're not on speaking terms with any other vampire to ask. And you've forbidden me from using the Council's resources. If he wanted to hurt you he would have by now if that's what you're afraid of."

"No, that's not what I'm afraid of," Buffy spat back.

"You should be," Angelus whispered from the other side of the window. He wondered if Rupert was aware the window was open a crack, allowing Angelus to hear the conversation his Slayer was having with her Watcher rather well.

"Then what, Buffy? We need to know if this has happened before and if it has what the repercussions were. I don't think you understand the implications."

"I think I understand the implications perfectly, Giles. I don't want to tell him because I'm afraid he would keep me alive only long enough to have the baby and then kill me."

Angelus did not need the benefit of a reflection to know that his human disguise had given way to his true demonic visage. His Slayer, his mate, was pregnant? He was tempted to think that Buffy was saying these things because she was aware of his listening to their conversation. But what would Rupert have to gain by Angelus believing his Slayer was pregnant with Angelus' child? That made no sense, not that Soul Boy getting her pregnant made much sense either.

"But Buffy, if this has happened before we need to know about it. What if the child were to be born with vampiric qualities?"

"I just don't know how I can look the demon wearing my boyfriend's face in the eye and tell him I'm pregnant. What if this bit of information pushes him over the edge and he stops stalking me and moves into kill mode?"

Angelus had heard enough and knew if he stayed a moment longer he would burst through Rupert's door out and take his Slayer with him there and then. Things over the past few weeks were beginning to make more sense he realized as he stormed out of the courtyard. He had recognized that her scent was off, but had not been able to place a reason for the change. Now he knew. Angelus was quite familiar with all aspects of Buffy's cycle and had, for lack of anything better to attribute it to, reasoned that perhaps she smelled different because she was no longer a virgin. In his educated mind he knew that was not right, but the idea that he had knocked her up never entered his mind.

"I wonder if Harris knows that Dead Boy was apparently not so dead after all," Angelus taunted to an awfully quiet Soul Boy. "Oh, come on, Soul Boy, you just found out you're going to become a father and you choose now to be silent?"

His taunting was met with nothing but silence on Soul Boy's part, which left a soulless Angelus alone with his thoughts. What to do with his Slayer now if what he had overheard was true? He had to find out somehow if it was. Her friends were not going to tell him, if they even knew. Chances were his Slayer and her Watcher had not told her friends anything, she would only be about five weeks pregnant. From the sounds of it, his Slayer's Watcher was trying to convince her to rid herself of the pregnancy. Over his dead body would he allow his mate to do that. It was not all that long ago when women died from aborting babies.

He could not risk going back to the factory so soon after hearing the news. Drusilla's visions could sometimes be sparked by actual thoughts, and the last thing Angelus needed to do was flood Drusilla's minds with images of a pregnant Slayer. Drusilla would want his Slayer dead with more urgency.

He walked and stayed away from the citizens of Sunnydale, not in the mood to live up to his reputation as the Scourge of Europe at the moment. He found himself in front of a vacant mansion outside of town and looked for a way to get inside, figuring it would at least be an interesting place to do some thinking in. As far as Angelus knew, vampires could not have babies. Soul Boy had made a point of telling his Slayer that earlier in the year when she was doing that faux baby project for class. His Slayer's Watcher wanted her to seek out Angelus for information when Angelus had none to offer her.

He entered the mansion and started to walk around, appreciating the layout even if his mind was on other things. Darla and The Master were both gone, both would have access to such historical information better than Angelus would. One hundred years of living on your own, away from your people tended to render you out of the loop as far as information went. Still, there were people he could contact, he would just have to do it without Dru or Spike finding out about it. No matter what he did to resolve this issue, Drusilla and Spike could not know about it.

He finished walking through the third floor and stepped out onto one of the bedroom's balconies facing the east. The sun was getting ready to rise, he could smell it, and he knew he should head back to the factory but he did not want to. He still, hours later, had difficulty getting his mind wrapped around the fact that his Slayer was pregnant. If Soul Boy were in charge, Angelus would taunt him and suggest the baby was not his, but Angelus did not believe she had sex with anyone else. He did not believe she had even kissed the boy he had seen her with.

Killing her or driving her mad was out of the question if what he had overheard at Rupert's house was true. He would not leave his child without a mother or with an insane mother. He had left a lot of children orphans and a lot of parents childless in his day, but those children were not his. Killing his family had not given him the satisfaction he believed it would, and he did not believe that killing his child and its mother would satisfy him either.

So, that left leaving her alone, but could he leave his Slayer, his mate, alone? And even if he could he was not sure how he could explain to his minions that the Slayer was never to be touched.

He could leave Sunnydale, leave Drusilla and Spike behind as some sort of offering or sacrifice for her, and setup shop somewhere else. It would probably be best if he did that. Eventually, she would grow tired of his feeding on the good citizens of Sunnydale, get over Soul Boy and seek him out to end his life for good. Would she kill the father of her child? He believed she would, because she believed he and Soul Boy were two different people. That was not the case, but it was difficult to explain. Soul Boy was here inside of him, with him, just as Angelus had been inside and with Soul Boy the entire time he had control of the reins.

He had to find out for sure it was true before he decided. He liked Sunnydale and liked taunting his Slayer, he would not give those things up for any other reason. Angelus was fairly certain that if her Watcher believed she was pregnant that she was pregnant.

With daybreak coming rapidly and Angelus' lack of desire to return to the factory just yet, he decided to find a habitable room in the mansion he had spent the last few hours in to get his day's rest in. Unfortunately, a more scrutinizing walk through revealed most rooms were not conducive to a vampire and his inability to be in direct sunlight. On the first floor, he found a room with no windows and a full-sized sofa that he availed himself of. It would not be the most comfortable respite, but he had certainly experienced worse.

***Part 4***

When the sun finally set, Angelus returned to the factory for a quick shower and to change into fresh clothes hoping to avoid Drusilla. Upon leaving his room he was met instantly by Drusilla. If he had to hear again about what a bad daddy he had been the past one hundred years he would stake her himself and save Buffy the trouble. The only way he had been able to tolerate her was to rekindle their physical relationship, at least then he received some pleasure while having to endure her ramblings. And until today she had always been welcome in his room, but right now the idea of touching Drusilla held no appeal to him. Even knowing that it would make Spike miserable offered Angelus little incentive to take Drusilla to bed.

"My Angel, you've returned," Drusilla said in that far off voice that told Angelus she was not entirely there at that moment.

"Yes, Dru, I live here, too, remember?"

"But you were gone all day, we were worried something bad happened to you."

"No we weren't," Spike quipped from his wheelchair. He was holding a wriggling dog in his lap, which Angelus scowled at. What in the hell was Spike doing with a dog? Drusilla's childe was petting it, though Angelus sensed it was a reflex rather than a conscious act.

"I'll be out of here in a minute."

"Oh, goodie," Dru said, clapping her hands like his human self's younger sister used to do when she was excited about something. "Where are we going tonight, Angel?"

"We're not going anywhere, Dru," he said before walking back to his room. He had a problem with his Slayer to contend with and did not need Drusilla tagging along. He ran a comb through his hair, slid his wristwatch over his hand and was ready to go. "I might not be back again until tomorrow night, don't worry about me," he said as he shrugged into his leather coat.

"Where are you going, Angel?"

"Getting some dinner," he said hoping the answer would appease her. She whimpered and pouted as if she was about to cry to which Angelus scowled and looked for some help from the wheelchair bound vamp. "Spike needs you here with him, you said yourself he hasn't been eating," Angelus offered. "Take him out and help him get something to eat."

"Oh," Drusilla cried out, an excited gleam in her eye. "I'll get us a couple of school girls," she whispered reverently. "Spike always likes school girls."

"Right," Angelus said before he turned to leave the couple. It was a good thing that he had always been somewhat of a loner and prone to go off on his own at times otherwise Drusilla might be more inclined to question him further. He still had drawn no conclusions on what to do with the situation, if in fact there was a situation.

He would first demand medical proof for such a claim. Those home pregnancy tests were not one hundred percent accurate, so she would have to do better than that. Angelus had never needed one but he paid enough attention to advertisements and medical findings to know. He had to talk to her alone before he came to any conclusions about what he was going to do. So, it seemed for the time being he had to extend a truce if he was going to get any information out of her.

The first place he went was Rupert's townhouse, assuming that his Slayer had spent the night and would still be there. Rupert's car was not parked at the house so Angelus assumed that if she was there she was alone. He stopped outside the same window as the night before and saw his Slayer seated in front of a computer at her Watcher's desk, talking on the phone. He stepped to the side of the window and listened as she typed at the keyboard and talked on the phone.

"I'm fine, Wils, really. Giles is just watching out for me while Mom is out of town. I appreciate you loaning me your laptop it's saving me from the boredom that is being sick and stuck at Giles' house."

"Well, sure he has a TV, but no cable, so there's nothing to watch," she said.

"I'm not really looking up anything, just surfing the Internet like you've been telling me I need to do more of."

Angelus could almost hear Willow's side of the conversation. She was concerned for her best friend, wondering why she was at Rupert's house instead of Willow's house and why Buffy wanted her computer. So, it would seem that her friends did not know about the pregnancy. It was obvious while her Watcher was sticking with books his mate had decided to become progressive with the research.

Angelus had been curious why she was at Rupert's as well, but received his answer by listening to his Slayer's portion of the telephone conversation. Her mother was out of town and Angelus had to wonder if her mother knew of her condition. His Slayer could not have been aware of it herself for very long. Medicine had improved drastically over Angelus' two hundred forty years, but he knew that it still took some time for pregnancy to reveal itself. She would not have thought of pregnancy either given her only sexual experience had been with a vampire.

There was a long pause in the conversation and when Angelus looked into the window again to see if his Slayer was still on the telephone she was staring right at him. She did not seem all that surprised to see him either and he again wondered if she was alert to his presence now whether she had been last night and said those things for his benefit. "I have to go, Willow," she said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." Believing she had nothing to gain by lying about such a thing, Angelus took advantage of her distraction while she hung up to enter Rupert's house. He would find out if she was lying nine months from now when she had no baby.

"I didn't come to kill you," he said evenly.

"You shouldn't be here," she whispered, her back to him.

"I thought Slayer's had healing powers."

"Apparently not for everything," she said wryly.

"That's too bad I've been in the mood for a good fight the past few nights."

"How did you find me?" she asked. She was brave to keep her back to him, especially since she did not know he came with a temporary truce in mind.

"Process of elimination," he replied simply. "Were you trying to hide from me, Lover?"

"Not from you, no," she said.

"From what then?"

"I don't want to talk to you about this."

"From the sound of it you don't want to talk to your friends about this. So who better than me?"

Buffy laughed bitterly and finally turned to face him and he was appalled by her appearance. Sure, he had seen her the night before, but Angelus had not really gotten a good look at her. She looked horrible; her hair looked as if she had not washed it in days and while she did not smell bad he knew she had not bathed recently and that she had been getting sick. There were dark patches around her eyes and her lips were dry and chapped. He found it hard to believe that she was this weak and disheveled looking merely from being pregnant.

He closed the door and strode to her when he saw her struggling toward the couch, instinctively offering her a hand which she took without hesitation. Soul or not, she was still his and he was not going to watch her die when he was unsure he wanted her dead. "What's wrong?" he asked once she was settled on Rupert's couch. He walked to the desk and looked at the computer, curious what she had been typing during her phone call with Willow but the screen was blank.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"It's not nothing," he said, moving to stand in front of her again.

"Yeah, it's no big, just the flu. What's with you?"

"Just wondering how long I have to wait before we can meet in the field again."

"I don't know," she said not meeting his gaze. "You may have to live without your pick on Buffy fun for a while."

"Oh, Lover, come now," he said running the back of his hand over her cheek. "I have no one else to pick on."

"Don't touch me," she said, though her words were not overly threatening given her physical condition and that her eyes fell closed at the touch. Secretly, he achieved a great deal of satisfaction knowing despite everything he had put her through the past five weeks she still craved his touch. It was him she craved, soul or not.

"Where's your mother?" he asked dropping his hand to his side even if he was tempted to continue touching her just to be difficult.

"At my aunt's house for a while."

"You shouldn't be alone if you're this sick," he reprimanded and cursed himself for sounding concerned.

"I'm not sick," she exclaimed and Angelus could hear the frustration in her voice.

"Then explain to me your little setup in the bathroom at your house."

"You've been to my house? Listen, you're not my boyfriend anymore, remember? I don't need to explain anything to you."

"I'm calling a truce for the night." She stood from the couch with a groan and clutched her abdomen, reaching for and grabbing onto his forearm with the other hand. "What in the hell is going on, Buff?"

"I need the bathroom," she whispered and peered at him with shame in her eyes. Without question he helped her to the bathroom where she knelt in front of the toilet. "Get out," she ground out before availing herself of the toilet.

{Don't you dare leave her.}

Angelus hovered in the doorway with no idea what to do; taking care of a sick person was not familiar to him. He certainly never went to the trouble of making any of his victims comfortable. He glanced around the room feeling helpless, telling her everything was going to be all right seemed stupid given he was not the one getting sick. He grabbed a washcloth from the sink's edge, dampened it and knelt behind her. He pulled her hair away from her neck, twisting it and making a makeshift knot out of it like he had seen her do in the past to get it out of her way. He showed her the washcloth so she would see what he was doing before placing it at the nape of her neck.

"That feels so good," she said, practically moaning the words. "Cold is good," she added, flushing the toilet and then clutched the sides of it with both hands.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I need to talk to Giles," she said leaning into him so her back was against his chest, taking the unspoken support he was offering her just then. She was still clammy from her recent bout of sickness and Angelus had to fight the urge to offer her use of his natural coldness to make her feel better.

"Talking to Giles can wait, you can't even walk," he roared.

"Insane much?"

His gentle touch turned rough as he pulled her head back so she faced him, looking into her eyes. "I am not insane, don't ever attribute any of my behavior to insanity," he said evenly. "I just don't want anyone but me to get the chance to kill you. So whatever nasty Giles is researching can wait another day."

"No," she murmured and for a minute Angelus thought she was going to confess all. "You don't understand."

"Fine," he spat venomously. "I'll leave you here to heave your guts out then. If your enemies could see you now cowering over a toilet afraid of the flu."

She slapped him, surprisingly hard given her current position of submission and the fact she had just emptied her stomach contents. "Just kill me and get it over with. I know you want to; I know you're going to eventually. Just put me out of my misery, spare my friends further torment and end it."

"Come now, Buff, I told you I was not here to kill you." He narrowed his eyes and glared at her. "What do you mean get it over with? I haven't come close to killing you."

"Well, you have managed to successfully take the Slayer out of the picture for a while."

"How have I managed to do that exactly?" he queried curious if she was going to reveal her secret to him so easily.

She lowered the toilet seat cover and placed her arm over the lid, resting her head on top of it. She took a deep, gasping breath and Angelus thought she was going to be sick again. He was unprepared for the barely audible, "I'm pregnant," when she said it.

"Who's the lucky guy?" he asked, trying to be calm.

"You know who it is."

"That guy I saw you with at the Bronze? You didn't seem close enough to be kissing let alone having sex."

"No, not Jeff."

"Jeff," he growled.

"That's his name, and you know it's yours."

"It's impossible," he said, not wanting to give in too easily.

"Apparently not," she said, glancing at him.

"Buff, I hate to tell you this, but vampires can't have children."

"Yeah, well, Giles has been bugging me to talk to you about that." She moved to stand and Angelus stood, allowing her room. She rinsed out her mouth, washed her hands and wiped her face with the cloth he had placed at the back of her neck before continuing. "He wants to know if there are any instances of it happening in the past."

"Tell him to check his Watcher's journals," he said following her into the living room.

"No," she demanded and spun around to face him. She winced and took a deep breath, swallowing as if trying to force herself not to get sick again; apparently the movement was too sudden. He knew pregnancy caused problems, but this bad? "I don't want the Council involved. And besides, a Watcher is not going to have information on every vampire, only those who have encountered their Slayer or had reputations making it worth writing about them."

"And why would I help you?"

She situated herself on Rupert's couch and took a sip of water from a water bottle, staring at him for a moment before she answered him. "Because I know Angel's in there no matter what you say and he'd never turn his back on his child. I don't know if he'd turn his back on me."

"I'm here with you now, aren't I?"

Her eyes narrowed at that. "Why are you here?" she asked. Her voice was barely a whisper but it betrayed the hope she was feeling with that question.

"I haven't seen you patrolling for days now, I thought you were avoiding me," he said, hoping the partial lie sounded convincing.

"Now you know," she said softly her hazel eyes full of question.

"Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"I don't even know if I'm going to have it, Angel."

"It's Angelus, and I'm not sure how exactly to take that. You believe I would not turn my back on my child yet you would kill that same child?"

"It wouldn't be your child."

"What?" he asked, confused by the statement.

"Angel made it, not you."

"We're the same man, Lover, I hate to break that to you, but he is me, I am him, we're the same person just with and without a soul."

"I don't believe that."

"I know you don't, it's easier for you to think of us as two separate beings possessing the same body but we're not. I remember everything he does, I experienced everything he did." She blushed at that and he smirked. "Yes, Lover, even that night, you should be glad I do."

She scoffed. "Right, why is that exactly?"

"Without having been there I would never believe this and I'm afraid you'd have no way of making me believe it. I don't think medical science is advanced enough yet to deal with this particular situation."

"Giles says I'm in no position to have a baby and he's right. I'm seventeen years old, still in high school. Not to mention I'm the Slayer."

"So you've decided then."

"I haven't decided anything and Giles says I couldn't yet anyway, I'm not far enough along. I don't know," she said

"You need my research, Lover, and I need asylum."

"From what exactly?"

"Your group of friends and their weapons."

"Feed away from the places you know they're likely to find you," she said and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. Can't you just not feed?" He scoffed at that, believing no response to her question was necessary. "So I'm the one caving in and all you're doing is picking up a telephone to call someone."

"Hardly that easy, Lover. With The Master and Darla gone it's going to take a bit of legwork to get information. It's been a while since anyone respectable was in charge so many vampires have gone elsewhere to find someone to follow. I can't ask Dru or Spike, they'll want to know why and I refuse to tell them about this."

"Why help me then if you're ashamed?"

He growled low at the realization she thought he was ashamed, but did not correct her. She was not dumb and sooner or later she would realize he could not tell Dru or Spike for the safety - and sake - of her and the child not out of shame. "It's mine," he said simply. He would love to read her Watcher's journal if she decided to have the child and allow him to tell the Council about the baby's existence. He and Soul Boy would be on record forever for something momentous.

"I honestly don't know what to do, Angel-us," she said adding the last part as an afterthought. "Why do you care if I have it or not? I mean, really, what are you going to do, be a father?"

"You could die," he said simply.

"And you want me dead, so problem solved and you wouldn't even have to get my blood on your hands."

"I want your blood on my hands, and if you die of something besides old age it will be because I decide it's your time."

"You really know how to sweet talk a girl. Like I'm going to have it just to make it an orphan when you decide you've tired of our co-existence. Or would you kill it, too?"

"No."

"How can I believe you, Angel?"

"Angelus."

"Whatever. How can I believe you? You killed your family."

"That was different and a long time ago."

"Uh huh."

He really did not feel like talking about what he had done to his family over two hundred forty years ago and why there was a difference to him between that family and his Slayer and their child. She was not going to listen to him more than likely anyway, so there was no point in arguing with her about it. She would forever fear that he would one day turn on her and the child. It was a rare gift to have the chance at such prolonged power over someone. "When does your mom get back?"

"Tomorrow."

"So you'll be back at home then?"

"Probably, I don't know. I haven't told her yet, I'm not sure how to tell her. Why?"

"I can't very well visit you here."

"And I'd want the cold blooded killer demon wearing my boyfriend's face to visit me because?"

"I have to get information to you somehow, Buff, and I'm not going to relay it through your Watcher."

"I'll probably go home. Giles has given up his bed for me the past few nights, but I think his hospitality is starting to wear thin, particularly when I spend most of the night on the bathroom or bedroom floor instead of the bed anyway."

"Be careful," he said simply and stood realizing it was time to go. He had stayed far longer than he had intended and was beginning to get sappy and sound like Soul Boy.

"Always," she said softly. "You'll forgive me if I don't walk you to the door."

"Of course, Lover."

"I wish you'd stop calling me that."

He smirked slightly and walked to the door. "We have a deal, right? Information for asylum."

"Giles will probably kill me, but I would rather come up against him than you right now, so I guess we have a deal. He said I need to try and get information from you. Just try not to leave a path of dead bodies in your wake, or I will have to break my word."

"I'll do my best, Lover, I don't want word to get out that the Slayer is out of commission anyway. I don't want anyone else coming to town to challenge me when I'm just getting established."

"No, we wouldn't want competition."

"Do you want more demons setting up shop in town when you can't take care of them? I know your friends are helping, Lover, but they're not the Slayer and they're, in general, ineffective."

"I know," she sighed. "Just go, Angel, find out what you can. The sooner the better, for everyone's sake."

Angelus watched as she got up from the couch and walked to the desk, sitting at the computer. He doubted she was going to find much on the Internet about vampires creating life in the true, procreational sense. As much fun as it might be to know she could be dead and out of his hair if he just let this pregnancy take its course, Angelus was curious to find out for himself if this had happened before. And to find out if it had happened just what the result had been. If his curiosity had not been piqued he would have left her to her own devices and not volunteered to help, but it would give him something to do during the day when he could not hunt or feed.

With nothing more to say, Angelus left Rupert's home, closing the door behind him and left his Slayer to research her problem on her own. Pathetically, if she had been at home, alone with no one to sit with her he probably would have stayed with her. She was trying so hard to put on a front and be brave, but Angelus could see the terror in her eyes in the bathroom when she knelt in front of the toilet.

***Part 5***

His Slayer had apparently given up trying to keep him from entering her room because her window was now unlocked and free of vampire deterrents. He had laughed over the weeks when he had met with window frames bearing long strings of garlic cloves with crosses on either side of the windows. They had given him pause, but had not stopped him from getting inside.

He had come by at various times the prior five nights despite having no information to offer her. He refused to acknowledge that he wanted to see if she was doing better. This was the first night that she had been sleeping when he had arrived. He checked his watch and found he had been watching her sleep for over three hours now. He deduced she must have been to a physician when he saw a prescription bottle of prenatal vitamins on the nightstand. The bottle in the open led him to believe his Slayer had informed her mother of her condition.

He had found no information about vampires having children whether it be a human woman with male vampire, female vampire with male human or vampire to vampire. But he had found a doctor in the Los Angeles area who specialized in pregnancies for weres and the like. Angelus would pass the doctor information on to his Slayer, knowing she might be more comfortable dealing with a doctor who knew about the things she hunted.

He sat on the edge of her bed and listened to her breathing taking in how peaceful she looked. She seemed to be aware of his presence because she shifted toward him. He wondered how it was he and his Slayer could do the unthinkable. It was not enough that she had fallen in love with him and him with her, but she had to become pregnant with his child. He was curious just what that said about their relationship and its place in history.

He reached out and grazed her forehead with his fingertips. A part of him rebelled at the thought of waking her when she was sleeping peacefully after days of going without. But it had been days since he had been able to watch her and he found himself unable to resist. He heard a soft sigh escape her lips but knew from her breathing that she was still asleep.

He pulled his hand away from her forehead and placed it over her abdomen. After a moment he pushed the blanket and top sheet aside, exposing her pajamas. He slid the white cotton camisole top up slightly and could not help but stare at her. He knew the fetus was not even a half an inch long at this point, but he could not help but wonder about it. What would his Slayer look like large with their child growing inside of her? What would a child of theirs look like? It was a concept he had never bothered to entertain before now. He placed a hand against her abdomen so deep in thought that her warmth startled him. She groaned softly as she exhaled and shifted again under his touch.

He traced a path on her skin with a fingertip following the bottom of her ribcage realizing that Soul Boy might not have been so stupid. Darla and Dru had always left him wanting more. More of what he had never quite grasped, as they were not things even Liam understood or wanted. But Soul Boy had not just understood but wanted them and, yet, had been willing to love her from afar. All Angelus knew was the thrill of the torturing and the actual kill always wore off and the rush and warmth that came from the feed wore off even faster, particularly now after a one hundred year respite.

In over two hundred forty years he had been able to rely on only one thing, that this girl, his mate, loved him unconditionally. Darla would have fed him to the lions to save her own skin or just for the sheer amusement of watching him swing in the wind. Drusilla was pretty much the same way. How quickly she had returned to Angelus' bed was evidence of that fact. Spike had cared for her for over one hundred years and a stronger Dru had cast him aside for the most part.

He had given thought to turning his Slayer so that he could have her with him for eternity, but she would never give in no matter how tempting he might make it. He had heard her complain several times about having to do the right thing, but in the end she always did. She had even faced The Master knowing she would die, which was something Angelus would not have done for anyone - soul or not. Perhaps he might do it for her, but certainly not for anyone else or just because it was the right thing to do.

It would be interesting to see what she would be like as a vampire given her strength and her life experiences as the Slayer. She would be a good warrior, a good strategist, and a natural leader. She had said little about her brief experience as a vampire the prior year so Angelus had no idea how his mate had felt or what she thought about it. He knew well enough she had been horrified about it, but he had never gotten her to talk about the feelings she had experienced past that and knew she had to have some feelings on the matter. From what he had ascertained from talking to Rupert and his Slayer he was able to deduce she had retained her Slayer strength.

Unfortunately, soul or not, he recognized that his Slayer, mate or not, belonged in and to the sunlight. It was what had frustrated him about letting himself get close to her, accepting her into his life, Soul Boy had known there were things he could never give her. He also knew that unlike William, Liam and Darla, his Slayer was inherently good. Angelus did not mind in the least, but Soul Boy had been horrified by what his soulless self had done to Drusilla. Not horrified enough to put her out of her misery, Angelus noted.

His Slayer shifted under his touch, bringing him out of his thoughts of turning her. A glance at her closed eyes followed by a quick listen to her breathing told him that she was still asleep. She placed a hand on her abdomen just below his, not even an inch separating their hands. She smiled and exhaled a soft sigh and Angelus wondered what his Slayer was dreaming about at the moment.

He had read somewhere that pregnant women were susceptible to intense and sometimes strange dreams, which had amused him given she already had prophetic dreams. Strange and intense dreams were part of being the Slayer not to mention the dreams that he had shared with her. The dreams they shared he suspected had to do with their connection not with her being the Slayer.

She murmured incomprehensibly in her sleep, and he realized that it was probably time to go before she woke up. He lifted his hand from her abdomen and heard a barely audible whimper in protest and so he set his hand down and looked at her, waiting for any sign she was awake.

"Buff?" he queried in barely a whisper.

"Don't go," she whimpered and then placed her hand over his. She slid his hand up over her ribs, pushing her camisole pajama top up, bearing her breasts to him. He groaned softly as she placed his hand over a breast and released it. She was probably dreaming of her precious Angel, but even knowing this he could not resist touching her. She wanted him to it seemed, and who was he to refuse.

He had not forgotten what it felt like to touch his Slayer, merely pushed the memories aside not wanting to dwell on something he knew he would never have again. It was going on six weeks now since he had last touched her after months of kissing and touching his mate. Soul or not, Angelus still wanted her and evidently she still wanted him.

He took advantage of the invitation, even if it was given by his still sleeping mate, and let his hand travel freely over her body. A cocky smile graced his lips when he witnessed her nipples harden under his touch. She moaned softly and arched her back, pressing her breast into his hand. Angelus wondered for a moment if she was feigning sleep, but even if she was he did not particularly care. If his Slayer wanted him to get her off and had to pretend to be asleep in order to feel better about it he was not going to complain exactly even if it was a little insulting.

His hand slid between her legs and he felt the evidence of her arousal through her shorts. He teased her, purposely avoiding her clit while sliding a finger between her netherlips through the shorts. He could tell from her breathing that she was waking up. She moaned softly as his hand drifted to her inner thigh, stroking the moist and sensitive skin there with his thumb. He saw her lips form a bit of a grimace as she wiggled the lower half of her body against his hand. So she wanted him inside of her. That was not exactly a repulsive order to fulfill.

"Angel," she murmured and he growled, a low warning.

He stopped his loverlike caresses despite her whimpered protest and grabbed her by the throat. "No, Lover, I'm not your precious Angel," he hissed. Her eyes opened slowly, sleepily and he felt her struggle to swallow under his vicelike grip at her throat. "He's gone, Lover, your beloved Angel is gone and I'm all you've got."

He saw her struggle to speak and loosened his hold on her throat. "I know you are," she whispered. "As sick as it is I still want to go to you when I need to talk."

"Yes, Soul Boy was good at listening to you ramble about your petty school girl problems, wasn't he?"

"It's not just the problems," she admitted and tried to turn away from him but he would not let her.

"I'm touched, Lover, you miss me? Is my Slayer lonely without me?"

"Stop it," she hissed. She tugged on her pajama top, almost violently pulling it down to cover her once again.

"Stop what?"

"Taunting me."

"But it's so fun, Buff. What's it going to take for you to stop loving me?"

"Nothing. There's nothing you can do to make me stop."

"That's so touching yet horribly pathetic and sad, Lover. What is it exactly about me you love? Do you get a perverse thrill from loving that which you hunt? Does it make you wet to have my undead hands and mouth touching and kissing you? Don't human boys do it for you? Do you get off on knowing I could change my mind and decide to kill you on a moment's notice."

"Stop it," she said again and Angelus could not help but laugh.

"It would be a lot more convincing, Lover, if you weren't turned on."

"I'm not," she said her eyes falling closed as if her eyes were the only way he could tell she was lying.

He laughed wickedly as he placed his hand between her legs. His hand at her throat forced her to keep still so that she had to watch what he was doing. This time he pushed the cotton fabric aside and slid his finger against her opening. He did not enter her, merely ran the tip along her cleft briefly. He glanced from his fingertip, now moist from her juices, to her face. "Right," he said with a sardonic grin before placing the fingertip to his lips and licking it clean.

"I was dreaming about Angel."

"You were dreaming about me, Lover."

"I was not," she protested.

"We're the same man, Buff," he said finally releasing her throat.

"Then why do you hate me?"

He shook his head, surprised at the pointed question. "What makes you think I hate you?" She scoffed and glared at him. If looks could kill he could not help but think and chuckled softly. "I don't hate you, Lover; I just don't have use for you like Soul Boy did. Are you going to be my girlfriend and stand back while I feed?"

"No," she said on top of a sharp exhaled breath.

"I didn't think so. And I enjoy the hunt too much to give it up. Even for you, Buff."

She sighed softly. "What do you want?"

"I came to let you know I am still trying to uphold my end of our bargain. I haven't found out much, but I have the name of a doctor in LA who might be more suited to helping you during this pregnancy given one of us is not human."

"A doctor that you're referring me to? Why should I trust you?"

"I told you the other day at your Watcher's house, Buff. It's mine."

"Right. Just what the Scourge of Europe needs - a baby and his Slayer ex-girlfriend in the picture to remind him of one hundred years of his existence he would rather forget."

He would never forget her, was not sure he would even want to forget her. He had lived twenty-six years as a human and two hundred forty-one as a vampire, which combined meant he had existed for almost two hundred seventy years and there were few things he cared about remembering. He no longer remembered what his mother or father looked like. He barely remembered what the countryside of his homeland looked like two hundred forty years ago beyond the fact it was far greener and less crowded. But he doubted he would ever forget this mate of his, the woman he had killed his sire for. "I don't need those things, no, but again I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes," she whispered and Angelus could hear the reluctance in her voice.

"You're sleeping," he said simply.

"I was until you woke me up."

"What can I say? Creature of the night and all."

"But yes, I've been able to sleep the past two nights."

"And the sickness?"

"It's better, not gone but better."

He ran a fingertip along her jaw. "Good," he said simply his eyes meeting hers. He knew he was betraying himself just then, revealing to her his sincerity and a side to him he had hoped to keep hidden. "I should let you get back to sleep."

"Well, I'm awake now."

His mouth lifted into a cocky grin. "And what did you have in mind, Lover?"

"Forget it," she whispered with a shake of her head.

"Horny, Lover? It's okay to admit it, I've learned while researching your current condition that it happens to women." She looked away from him and he laughed. "For a woman who just lifted up her shirt, exposed herself and placed my hand on her breast you sure are being coy."

"I did not do that."

"I beg to differ with you, Lover. How do you think your shirt got up that high?"

"I don't know," she said, but her eyes said something different.

"You thought I did that?" he asked not sure why he was surprised that she had that opinion of him. He was not altogether sure why he cared and wanted her to know that he did not take advantage of her either.

"Like you haven't done worse."

"To you?" he asked.

"No, not to me," she admitted after a moment's pause.

"Stop judging me based on my past doings when I've done nothing to you directly."

"And you haven't killed a person in the past six weeks?"

"I haven't in the past week," he said with a shrug.

"Does Angelus have a conscience after all?"

"I have been able to find willing donors."

She grimaced at that statement. "Why do people do that?" she asked.

"Would you like me to show you? Or are you afraid you might like it? Afraid that if I bite you you'll crave that, too?"

"No," she said quickly.

"All right, Lover, but if you change your mind let me know."

"I don't think you should hold your breath."

"Not that holding my breath would cause me any hardship, Buff."

"Just leave me alone so I can get some sleep."

"But I thought you were already awake?"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore. You're rude and difficult and I have no idea why I thought I could talk to you."

"Oh, Lover, you wound me with such talk," he said as he stood from the bed and walked to the windowsill where he leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest and watched her. He saw the indecision in her eyes and could not resist asking, "what?"

She was silent for a long while; picking at what Angelus guessed was a loose thread on her comforter. He wondered what she was thinking so deeply about. "Don't go," she said finally, refusing to look at him. The two simple words were spoken so softly they were almost inaudible even to Angelus with his enhanced hearing.

"Are you asking me to stay, Buff?"

She nodded her head and looked at him through lowered lashes. "Yes," she whispered with a shrug. "Can you stay without killing me or being cruel to me just for the fun of kicking Buffy when she's down?"

He took a moment before responding, glancing at his clasped hands resting on his upper thighs. It would be very easy indeed to kick her when she was down as she had just said, but he also knew how difficult it was for his Slayer to ask him to stay. "Your mother?"

"What can she say? You already got me pregnant, I don't think she realizes there's any more harm to me you can do."

"All right," he said cautiously. He was not altogether sure about the wisdom in such a course of action.

"No biting, no sex."

"Well then why am I staying?"

"Because you don't hate me and because it's yours," she said simply throwing his words back in his face.

{Admit it you're afraid if you stay you'll never want to leave her again.}

He shook off Soul Boy's interruption and pushed himself off the windowsill and walked toward her bed. "Don't get used to this," he said simply as he joined her on the bed. "Any stakes hidden under the mattress?"

"I'm not going to dust you," she said as she watched him shift and adjust on her bed. Her eyes were wide with what appeared to be both curiosity and shock. He was shocked, too. Never would he have imagined himself here with her like this. He had no room for his Slayer in his life anymore, he knew that as much as he knew sunlight would kill him. Yet, Soul Boy's influence or not, he could not resist giving into her request.

"Why should I trust you?" he asked.

"Because it's yours," she said with a shrug again throwing his words back in his face. "I don't know how we're going to work this or even if we're going to work this, but I couldn't kill you knowing I'm pregnant with your baby." Her eyes closed, lashes coming into contact with her cheeks. He was tempted to touch her, to kiss her. She looked almost angelic just then, but he was too late as she was already asleep once again.

***Part 6***

Angelus had no intentions on sleeping, afraid that he would do something stupid. Apparently, Morpheus had other plans for him because the next thing Angelus became aware of was being on his side, one arm around his Slayer possessively and protectively. Her petite and very warm body was fitted perfectly along the length of his taller, bulkier and much cooler form. It took him a moment to realize that he had fallen asleep and that someone knocking on the door to his mate's bedroom is what had woken him. He glanced at the windows and saw that the sun had already risen, so his leaving was not an option.

"Buffy," came her redheaded friend's voice from the other side of the door accompanied by yet another knock. How long had her friend been knocking? Did she have school today? Angelus tried to acclimate himself to not just the fact he had spent the night and what that might signify to his Slayer, but also to what day and time it was beyond the fact it was daytime.

Buffy had not reacted at all since Angelus woke up so he decided to answer the door. He could certainly defend himself against a high school junior and his mate's mother if he needed to. The chance that either of them was aware Angelus was even here was slim, so he felt safe. Somehow during their few hours of sleeping together he had positioned himself in a protective position with her closer to the wall so it was easy for him to slide off of the bed without disturbing his sleeping Slayer anymore than necessary.

He was aware when she shifted to the portion of the bed he had until just then occupied, her hand sliding along the bedding in the spot where he had just been resting. He watched her for a moment, even in slumber she was seeking him out, her mate. He had never paid attention to how strong their bond was when he had her in his possession. His possession of her had not ended with the loss of the soul they had merely lost the intimacy that had come with it when he had his soul.

He walked to the door and opened it, prepared to do battle even at such an ungodly hour. Normally, he would be resting up at this time from a night of feeding, fighting and if he was in the mood and Drusilla had not annoyed him overmuch some fucking. He could not help but smile sardonically at Willow's expression when she saw Angelus open her best friend's bedroom door. First was surprise followed by embarrassment and then came terror and fear. He liked the last two looks best, though the embarrassment was priceless as well. His Slayer had picked such a shy and innocent to be her best friend.

"Good morning, Willow," he said gruffly, his annoyance at the intrusion apparent. Even if he had fallen asleep despite his intentions not to, he knew his Slayer had slept more restfully in the few hours he had been by her side than in the past few weeks.

"Angel," she said, wide eyed.

"Angelus," he growled. "Why can't you people get my name right?"

"Sorry, it's just habit," she said in what he imagined was an attempted apology. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know that it's any of your business, but it should be fairly obvious I was calling on Buff."

"I didn't realize," she frowned and glanced at the bed. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do a damned thing to her," he growled in protest at such an accusation. The idea that he would harm a hair on his Slayer's head when she was not in a state to fight back was incomprehensible.

"I, well, she's just laying there."

"She's tired and sleeping, what do you expect?"

She pursed her lips as if she was thinking of saying something and Angelus could almost see her backpedal away from her train of thought. "We had plans," Willow said, trying to hide her disappointment but she did not do it very well.

"Well, I'll get right on waking her up then all because you had plans. I'm sure they were important, too. Were you going to the mall?"

"No," she said, trying to be brave but Angelus could smell the fear on her.

"What then? Some studying? That's really worth waking her up for."

"It is when she's failing classes because she's missed so much school recently. The only chance she has of passing this semester is if I tutor her."

That gave Angelus pause. His Slayer could not fail high school, not if she was actually going to have a chance to raise their child and provide for it. He could assist her monetarily, but he was not going to let her know that. Offering her assistance so soon would be something Soul Boy would do, Angelus enjoyed the idea of her wondering just how she was going to manage for a little while longer at least. "Then just come back later when she's awake. She's not going to be coherent enough to gain anything from your tutoring at the moment anyway."

"She's the one who told me to come here at this time. Either wake her up or I'll go down and tell her mother you're here."

"Is that supposed to be a threat of some sort?"

"Do you want to get Buffy in trouble?" Willow asked and Angelus had to give her credit for choosing that rather than thinking Joyce Summers posed any threat to Angelus.

"You obviously overestimate my concern for whether she gets in trouble or not. Her being in trouble is really no longer my concern."

"Then why are you even here?" Willow asked, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"Will?" Buffy spoke from behind them. Her voice was lethargic, sleepy, and Angelus let his game face fall into place as he glared at his Slayer's best friend. "What's wrong, Angel-us?" she asked as she stood from the bed. She was getting better at remembering he despised her calling him by Soul Boy's name, but noticed the deliberateness and thought that went into her addressing him.

"I came to help you study," Willow said cautiously.

"And I don't know why on earth you would tell her to come by this early when you haven't been sleeping."

"Who are you, my dad?"

"No, not your dad," he said, his voice low, his tone clearly warning that she had best not challenge him on this point.

"Will, give me a minute," his Slayer said.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked, her skepticism about the rationality of his Slayer being left alone with Angelus clear.

"He's been here for hours, he had plenty of opportunity to kill me when I was sleeping, Will, so yeah I'm sure."

"What am I going to tell your mom?"

"I don't know," his Slayer said glancing from Willow to Angelus and then at her feet. "Tell her I wanted to get dressed or something." Willow just shook her head, apparently realizing an argument was futile just then, finally leaving the room and leaving Angelus alone with his Slayer once again. "I guess you're kind of stuck here now."

He shrugged, his human disguise falling back into place. "It's not like I had plans or anything."

"What no victims to torture or puppies to kill?"

"None at the moment I'm afraid, no," he said dryly. "I guess I can stay here, I imagine going downstairs and joining you and your mother for breakfast is out of the question."

"She's not too thrilled with you right now, no."

"With me?"

"Well, yeah, hello? You got me pregnant and left me."

"I think you're leaving out some of the finer details as to why it was I left. Because you know damned well if your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend were still in control he would never have left you."

{You haven't left her either.}

"Shut up," he growled in frustration at the intrusion.

"I didn't say anything," she bit back.

"Not you."

"What?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Oh brilliant, Angelus, lead her to believe you actually are insane. "There's no one else in the room but us, Angelus."

"I realize that," he said under his breath. "Never mind, I was talking to myself."

"Do you tell yourself to shut up often?"

"Only when you irritate me beyond reason, Lover."

"Oh, I irritate you?"

"Yes," he said, trying to appear bored by this conversation. In truth, he was pleased to see the fire back in her eyes, the appearance again of her backbone and some strength. He was tired of seeing his mate weak, depending on others to care for her.

{You're even more pathetic than I am, I at least admitted my feelings for her.}

"Why is that?" she asked as a low growl in response to Soul Boy and his opinion could be heard coming from his throat.

"Because you do, I don't need to a reason. That's what ex's do, irritate each other. They wouldn't very well be ex's if that weren't the case."

"You never irritated me until recently."

"Things change, Buff, what can I tell you? I changed. I still have to figure out a way to thank you properly, however, it's because of you I'm here today."

"I wish I could say you're welcome, but I'm afraid I'd be lying."

"Do you miss your boyfriend that much, Lover?"

She turned away from him and walked to the window. For a minute he thought she was going to open the drapes and let the sun turn him to dust without even saying good bye. It would serve him right, too, for being so careless and falling asleep here. He should be home now, performing some destructive or terrorizing activity worthy of his reputation. Instead he was here in his Slayer's bedroom playing nursemaid to her. If she were like most women Angelus had been familiar with in the past, particularly those who Liam had known, she would have been lapping up such attention. But not his Slayer, she almost seemed hesitant to even admit last night that she wanted him to stay with her.

{Can you blame her?}

"I do miss him. You. I don't know how to say it." Her back remained to him, but he could tell that she was crying by the shaking of her shoulders. "I can't differentiate between the two of you any more. I didn't expect you to stay last night," she said through the tears that Angelus knew were falling freely now even without benefit of seeing her face.

"I didn't either," he admitted.

"What do you want from me?"

"Truthfully?"

She turned to face him then, wiping her cheeks dry with the pads of her fingers. He would love to lick the tears from her face, to taste the salty tears of his Slayer. It was more than likely the only way he would get any nourishment off of her until the day he killed her. "Yes, please, truthfully."

"I would like nothing more than to turn you, to make you my childe as well as my mate, to have you with me forever by my side, once you've had this child."

"I could never," she said with a shiver.

"I realize this," he admitted begrudgingly. "But you wanted the truth."

"Yes, I did," she admitted. "Thanks." She smiled slightly. "Are you going to stay up here?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"You could come down if you want, I realize my room is pretty boring and lame."

"I'll be fine, I'm used to sleeping during the day."

"Right, you were usually going to bed when I was getting ready for school." She shook her head slightly. "I remember when I knew that I wanted to make love to you."

She had his attention now, not that he had been ignoring her. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it was that morning, when I visited you at the apartment. I knew it."

A part of him was terribly insulted that it had taken her that long to want him. Granted, it had been over two hundred forty years since he had seen himself, but he had never lacked for female companionship when he wanted it. So, Angelus had always taken that to mean he was a decent looking man. Soul Boy was a romantic and certainly courted his Slayer once they stopped denying their feelings for one another. And yet a part of him appreciated the fact that she had not entered into making love to anyone lightly.

"I knew it the moment I saw you," he admitted, his head bowed so that he did not have to look at her. "It was part of what made loving you, wanting you so difficult. You were fifteen when I first saw you, still a girl really."

"I guess I was, but I grew up pretty fast after that day."

"Yeah, you did," he admitted wryly. "But I still couldn't help but think of Kathy periodically and you really weren't much older than she had been when I killed her. Liam would have broken the neck of anyone who touched his sister."

"And yet Angelus killed her."

He shrugged. "I am a monster, Lover."

"Yet, you have been so good to me the past week. I know you've been here, stood out on the lawn or sat on the roof outside the window."

"How?" he asked realizing too late he should have just denied it.

"I feel you, I always know when you're nearby. It's not the same as the senses that pick up on other vampires."

"It's because I'm your mate, Buff," he said simply. "Your body recognizes me, that's all."

"That's all? What do you mean that's all? As if that's not bad enough?"

"There's nothing all that bad about it. Some people can go an entire lifetime without finding their true mate. Trust me, when you've walked the earth for as long as I have you know."

"I'd say it's pretty bad when my mate is a sadistic sociopath who takes pleasure on tormenting and torturing people. You probably get off knowing I can't be out there patrolling right now."

"I hate seeing you like this," he admitted. "It's no fun when you're not at full strength," he added, hoping to take some of the sincerity out of the first part of his statement.

"On that sentimental note, I'm going to get dressed and meet Willow downstairs to do some homework."

"You didn't mention you were failing your classes, Buff."

"You've made it quite clear we're no longer anything to one another, Angelus," she said with a shrug, walking to her closet.

He shrugged as well, curious to know if she would tell him to step out to the hall while she changed. He was not going to offer to and if she did not ask he would certainly enjoy the show. As if reading his mind, she glanced at him over her shoulder. Their eyes met and she blushed a deep shade of red when he cast his eyes downward, being brutally honest about the fact he was looking at her.

"Do you mind?"

"Like I haven't seen it before, Lover. All of it."

"That was different."

He grimaced with a shake of his head. "I'm still me, it was still my eyes that saw you, my hands and mouth that touched you, my cock that fucked you." She winced at his words, but went ahead and began to shed her pajamas. Realization dawned on him then that she was worried about her appearance. "Like this far along you're even showing."

"Well," she shrugged. "Still. It's not polite for you to watch me."

"What if I offered to help you?"

"I don't need any help getting dressed."

"Tell me that again in a few months when you can't see your feet," he said with a low chuckle.

"You really know how to make a girl feel secure."

"Anytime, Lover."

"Stop calling me that," she hissed.

"I like it. It suits you."

"No, it does not. To be called Lover by you would mean that I am your lover."

He smirked cockily. "That could be arranged."

"I don't think so."

"You think I'm going to let someone else touch you when you're carrying my child? You think I'm going to let you run around and act like some whore because you're horny and can't get pregnant?"

She walked up to him, a new top in place but her legs were bare aside from a barely there pair of dark blue panties. She pointed a finger at him, the tip coming into contact with his chest. "How dare you? How dare you think that you can control what I do?"

He grabbed hold of her finger, clutching it in his fisted palm. "I don't think, Lover, I know. You're mine, my mate, mine, and you're having my baby."

"You broke up with me, remember? You couldn't have lost your soul and still been Angel just without the soul?"

"No," he said loudly.

"Then where do you get off telling me what I can and cannot do? Which is it? Do you want me or don't you? Because you can't have it both ways, sooner or later, Angelus, I will move on to someone else."

He growled, game face dropping back into place. "Don't even say that, Buffy, it will not happen. Not as long as you're carrying and caring for my child."

"No, you see, you're not my boyfriend anymore, you walked away from me. You said cruel, horrible things to me and left me knowing what I had given you the night before, so you cannot make me do anything."

"But I can, Buff. You want to ensure you and our child are safe, correct?" He could hear her heartbeat increase a bit with that statement and he could not help but smirk in victory.

"You can't possibly mean that I cannot be with anyone but you."

"I can mean it, and I do mean it. If you want to ensure the safety of both of you, you'd be wise not to piss me off. My goal is to leave once I know you are in fact all right. Not just physically, either. No failing school."

She swallowed hard, her eyes grew wide. "You're leaving?"

"I am, I know of no other way for us to work this out, Lover, do you? You and I cannot operate in the same town. Our paths will eventually cross, and then you'd have to decide between dusting the father of your child and letting the sociopathic killer you deem me as loose to prey on the good Sunnydale citizens."

"And what do I get out of this deal? Are you going to stay pure in honor of your mate?"

He laughed as he placed his hand against her cheek. He drew her to him with his other hand and kissed her deeply, his tongue forcing her lips apart. After a brief protest on his Slayer's part she parted her lips willingly accompanied by a soft mewl and she stepped into his touch and his kiss. His hand slid to her breast, which he stroked the side of with his thumb. His touch was gentle, but his kiss was anything but gentle. She did not seem to mind he noticed as she responded to his demand for further entry into her mouth.

He missed the warm moistness that was her mouth as soon as he broke the kiss, but her neck and her blood was beckoning him. Like a beacon, her pulse point called him home. He heard her take a sharp intake of breath as if she knew sight unseen that his human disguise had fallen away. He expected her reproach or for her to refuse him, but she said nothing. He grazed the pulse point with a tip of his fang, ran his tongue along the side of her neck, and then blew on the flesh there.

His hand at her cheek slid to the side of her hair, his fingers spreading and gripping her head. He did not have to force her head to bear her throat to his mouth, she seemed almost willing to let him. He was gentler than he normally was, even the people who were willing donors he did little to see to their comfort. He fed to feed, certainly not to be nice to those he fed from.

{She is not a food source.}

He ignored Soul Boy's protest and slid his hand at her breast lower under the waistband of her underwear, sliding a finger inside of her as he sank his fangs into her neck. He groaned at the first taste of her blood coupled with a low moan of her own as he slid his finger out of her. He had no intentions on stopping and had every intention on showing her just what Soul Boy had deprived her of the night they had made love.

He worked the zipper on his leather pants and pushed her back against the door. He expected her to protest when he used both his hands to lift her up and position her so he could enter her. She made noise, but nothing resembling no or stop left her mouth, so he continued sheathing his cock with her molten-like core.

Once he was inside of her with her hands clutching at his shoulders almost as if she was hanging onto him for dear life, the need to feed from her diminished. If she had not been pregnant with his child he would not have cared about taking too much blood from her, but he was aware she needed her blood to stay strong. And he wanted his Slayer and his child strong.

He retracted his fangs from her neck, surprised at the soft whimper he heard in response to their no longer being imbedded in her neck. So she had enjoyed it, he could not help but smile at that realization as he continued to thrust into her. He carried her to the bed, pulling out of her only long enough to position them both on the bed.

"Willow," she said, the protest a little too late Angelus mused to himself.

"She'll wait," he said gruffly, covering her mouth with his to stave off any further protests she might have. "I won't," he added. Drusilla had felt like this once upon a time, warm and tight, but she had never fit around his cock as if she had been made just for him. She had not been willing as a human either, which while fun was not the same.

While perhaps not as conscientious as Soul Boy was their first time together, Angelus did see that his mate was pleased before seeking his own release. Unfortunately, with both of their climaxes came remorse - at least on his Slayer's part. He felt none, had nothing to feel remorse for. She belonged to him, but he was aware of the fact she had yet to get her mind wrapped around that concept just yet. In her opinion, she had just let the enemy fuck and feed off her.

"I've got to get downstairs," she said softly from underneath him.

"Go then," he said, rolling beside her on the bed.

She stood from the bed and took off the underwear she had only moments ago just put on, replacing them with a fresh pair. "I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Willow. Or Giles. Oh my god."

"Explain what to them?"

"Hello? You were here, unless you've regained your soul, you were here a few minutes ago. Not to mention," her hand flew to her neck. "You bit me!"

"But you loved it, Lover, as I knew you would."

"Stop calling me that!" she demanded.

"You said I couldn't call you that since we weren't lovers. Doesn't what we just did make us lovers again?"

"No!"

"Wasn't it good for you, Baby?"

"No," she said running a hairbrush through her hair with quick, almost violent strokes. "Are you going to be here when I come back up?"

"Unless there's a solar eclipse, yes, I'll be here waiting for you, Lover."

"This is not happening again. So, you can stay as long as you know that it is not happening again."

"If you say so, Buff."

"I say so. It was a momentary bout with insanity, I just missed kissing you so much," she said, slamming her brush down on her dresser. She turned to look at him then. "Stay up here. My mom cannot know you are here."

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a sardonic grin. "Are you sure you don't want to go again, Lover? With your blood in me I am feeling pretty good." She left her room, practically slamming her door behind her as he laughed at the dismayed look on her face in response to his question.

***Part 7***

His Slayer had not returned to her room before the sun set, probably intentionally, and so Angelus left her room via the window. He was not going to sit there waiting for her like a lost puppy dog. If avoiding him made her feel better about what had happened that morning he was not going to fault her. He would certainly let her hear about it the next time he encountered her.

He walked in the direction of The Bronze, feeling up for a bite to eat. He rarely left the area around The Bronze needing more. It surprised him how many turned a blind eye to the happenings in their town, yet he was always able to find someone willing to be a repeat customer. He did not feed off of the same person twice unless he was unable to find anyone else willing.

"Hey Buffy," Willow's werewolf boyfriend called to Angelus' back.

Angelus turned around to face the boy after discarding the willing donor on the ground in a heap. She would wake up in a little while and be fine. He had not fed for as long as he normally would have, but long enough to render her unconscious. Normally, he enjoyed testing his control, pushing the limit and seeing just how far he could take the feeding without actually killing the person. "While I've been called worse, I've certainly never been mistaken for a woman before."

"Oh, Angel, hey" Oz said with a slight frown. "Buffy's not with you?"

Angel tried to get upset at Oz's use of Soul Boy's name, but for some reason found it difficult to do so. He was the only one of Buff's little group that Angelus could stomach. He would love to see Oz out in the open, running free on the next full moon instead of caged up in the school library. "Why in the world would I have her with me," he said wiping his mouth clean from any remnants of his feeding that might still be there.

"I don't know," Oz said clearly puzzled. "You smell like her, I just assumed she was on a date or something. I didn't realize it was you." Angelus growled low at the date comment, taking Oz's words to mean the werewolf thought his Slayer would stand out in a darkened alley letting some boy stick his tongue into her mouth.

"Oh, that," Angelus said. "I was with her last night and most of the morning." He smiled wickedly at that, glad that one of her little friends shared Angelus' acute sense of smell and would know just what Angelus meant with that statement. There was no mistaking the scent of sex. Oz was perhaps not as keen to different smells as Angelus was given he was new to the preternatural world, but Angelus gave him credit for knowing at least that much.

Oz's surprise was apparent. "I was just looking for Willow really."

"She's not here either."

"You didn't," Oz said, apparently trying to be delicate which was amusing considering it was Oz. "They're both okay, right?"

"Last I checked, yes, they were both fine. I didn't touch your girlfriend if that's what you're asking me. No offense, but redheads have always tasted bad." Oz frowned at that, apparently not sure if Angelus was being sincere or not.

"And Buffy's okay?"

"Yes, what is it with you people? If I wanted her dead I'd have done it by now."

"From what Giles has told us you enjoy the torment leading up to the kill not the actual death of your subject so much."

"It all depends on the subject," Angelus said simply.

"Right, whatever, I can't wait until Buffy feels better so she can deal with you."

"And what makes you think she will deal with me?"

"She's not going to let you stay here and feed, you know it."

"She hasn't been able to stop me yet, wasn't able to even before she wasn't feeling well." Angelus stepped menacingly closer to Oz. "And you know damned well why I smell like her. She's not going to kill someone she's fucking because she wouldn't fuck me if she didn't still love me. So, I think I'm fairly safe from the tip of one of her little wooden stakes."

"Until you piss her off, or kill someone she actually cares about," Oz said taking a step back. Angelus was curious whether the boy had enough control over his shapeshifting to be able to do it at will without benefit of the full moon.

"But you see, Oz, I've got myself a little insurance policy."

"What's that?" Oz asked.

"The baby."

"What baby?"

"My baby, our baby. Oh, didn't my Slayer tell you that little detail? I knocked her up, so I don't think she'll be killing me anytime soon."

"Impossible."

"Apparently not, unless you're telling me she hopped into bed with someone else."

Oz shook his head at that. "I can't say whether she did or not."

"You would have known and you know it," Angelus said simply.

"I'm not exactly on your side in this, so I don't know that I'd tell you anyway."

"Oh, I think you would, Wolf Boy. But back to the freak of nature she's carrying," Angelus said with a wry smile. "I think she'd let me do whatever I damned well pleased if I promised not to hurt the baby." Angelus had every intention on doing as he told his Slayer and leaving once the baby was born and knew that his Slayer would be all right. There was no reason to let her friends know that, though.

"I think you're wrong. She loved Angel, not you."

"Then why did she let me into her pants, Wolfie? Why did she give it up so easily, let me feed off of her. You've tasted blood before, haven't you? You should try a Slayer's blood, it's intoxicatingly powerful stuff. You'll never want to go back to just plain ol' humanoid blood again."

"All right, you're trying to get a rise out of me, which is fine, but what Buffy does is Buffy's business, not mine. I can't say I approve of it and I know Giles wouldn't, but so long as it doesn't get Willow killed I just plan on staying out of it."

The girl he had fed off was starting to stir and Angelus decided perhaps now was a good time to go. "So long as your girlfriend doesn't interfere or try to stop me from having what is mine, she'll be fine."

"She doesn't belong to you," Oz said evenly.

"Is that right? Do you think it was just a fluke that she and Soul Boy could not resist and eventually gave into their feelings? She's mine, the baby is mine, and no one is going to keep me from them. Not you, Wolf Boy, not her Watcher, not your girlfriend and certainly not my Slayer's mother."

"I can't speak for the others, but I'm not stupid enough to try and keep you from her, Angel."

"Good doggie," Angelus said sarcastically. "I'll be seeing you, I'm sure," he said before jumping onto the top of the dumpster in a fluid motion. From there he made it to The Bronze's rooftop where he could escape and go about his business without Oz knowing where he was headed.

He would love to be a fly on the wall when Oz told Willow that Buffy was pregnant. "Sorry I spilled your secret, Lover, but it is about time they all know the truth."

***Part 8***

Buffy was a little disappointed to find Angelus gone when she returned to her bedroom. She was not surprised, but for some reason she had expected him to be waiting no matter how long she had remained downstairs. Willow had left a while ago and Buffy had procrastinated going back upstairs by volunteering to help her mom with the laundry and lunch dishes.

Joyce Summers was trying to be patient with Buffy, but Buffy could see the look of disappointment in her mother's eyes whenever her mother thought Buffy was not looking or not paying attention. It was one of the reasons that Buffy stayed in her room most of the time now when she did not have any friends over, she could not stand to see that look on her mother's face any more than she had to.

How was Buffy to know that she and Angel would do the impossible? Having a vampire as a lover should have been safer than safe. She had hoped that Giles would find something on his own without having to consult the Council about this happening in the past. So far, though, Giles had come up with nothing.

She spotted a piece of paper on her pillow and picked it up. She would recognize his handwriting anywhere. It was funny, really, there were times that she thought of Angel and Angelus as being two separate, independent beings who just happened to occupy the same body. But times like this when she was staring at evidence - this time it was a note written by the man she loved - that she knew they were one in the same.

He had merely written the name, address and telephone number of the doctor he had mentioned on the piece of paper. Giles had not uncovered doctors that specialized in babies from situations like hers. But she imagined Willow and Oz would need a doctor like this if they were to ever have kids.

She placed the note underneath the bottle of prenatal vitamins her mother's doctor had prescribed for her, determined to make an appointment with the LA doctor tomorrow. Hopefully, Giles or Willow would be willing and able to take her.

Buffy would be glad to have a doctor that did not know her mother, someone Buffy could feel comfortable confiding the truth in. She certainly could not tell her mom's doctor about vampires and slayers, at least without the doctor thinking Buffy was crazy.

She sat on the edge of her bed and felt her cheeks grow warm as images and feelings from that morning came back to her in a rush. She had let Angelus feed off of her, she had sex with him. She did not like admitting that he aroused her by feeding off of her. She could understand how he could find willing donors now. She was embarrassed that she did not mind having sex for sex's sake.

Willow had looked at Buffy strangely when she finally came downstairs. Her best friend knew what had taken Buffy so long and she had seen the puncture marks on her neck, too. Her mother, thankfully, had not. Willow seemed to understand that her friend did not want to talk about it and had helped Buffy cover her neck.

She walked to her dresser and started to tear away the bandage Willow had placed at her neck when someone knocked on her door. "Come in," she said, quickly fixing her hair so it covered the bandage. "Hi Mom," Buffy said.

"How are you feeling, Buffy?"

"I'm okay, really, a little tired."

"I know, but you're still getting your strength back." Buffy rolled her eyes, her mother had no idea how strong Buffy truly was or she would not be worrying about her daughter's bout with pregnancy sickness. It was not merely morning sickness as up until yesterday she had been sick around the clock. The baby did not seem to be able to tell time or know that it was not supposed to make it's mother miserable all day, every day.

Giles had scolded her repeatedly the past few weeks afraid that she was not providing proper nourishment to the fetus. She tried explaining to the man that what she did manage to eat probably did the baby no good anyway since she just proceeded to throw it up right away. She had made it through the entire day yesterday and so far today without getting sick, so she could hope that she was past that.

"What do you want, Mom?"

"Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia are here, they want to come up."

Buffy frowned, Willow had left not too long ago and had said nothing about coming back, and since Buffy was boyfriendless at the moment she had been set to spend the night alone. Maybe her friends were taking pity on her and were coming to spend the night with her.

"Send them up."

"Are you sure you're up to company? You already spent all day with Willow and you did more today than you have lately."

That's an understatement considering what she had done in her bedroom that morning, Buffy mentally added. Her mom did not need to know that Angel had spent the night and she certainly did not need to know what had happened between them this morning. "I'm fine," she said, not meaning to sound frustrated but she was tired of her mother's drastic changes in how she treated Buffy. There were times her mother seemed fine and treated Buffy normally or at least without the pity she seemed to give her the rest of the time.

"Okay, I'll send them up." Buffy straightened up her room, which really only amounted to having to make up the bed still mussed from having sex with Angelus that morning, so it did not take long. And it was not like her friends were going to pass judgment based on the condition of her room when she was not feeling well anyway.

A light knock at her door came followed by her four friends entering, none looking too happy. If Angelus had gone off and done something to get back at Buffy for what had happened between them that morning or to ensure she did not think anything had changed between them she would personally hunt him down tonight, baby or not.

"Hey guys, what's with the long faces?" she asked as she looked at their solemn faces. Giles, she thought, Angelus went after Giles. "Is Giles okay?" she asked, her voice barely audible from the bile that threatened to rise at the thought of Angelus harming the one person who was being understanding about this mess. If Angelus had one person on his side right now, one person in favor of keeping the vampire alive, it was Giles.

"He's fine," Cordelia offered. "He and Miss Calendar are on a date."

Buffy was glad to hear that Giles and Miss Calendar were both okay. There was no one else for her to worry about since everyone else she might worry about was with her. She had been waiting for the day that Angelus stepped up his harassment and actually did something to someone Buffy knew and cared about.

"Okay," she said and took a seat on her bed Indian style. She wondered how much longer she would be able to sit this way knowing that sooner or later she would be too big to do much of anything. In truth, as glad as she was to see her friends, the day had taken a lot out of her. The doctor had assured her that she could continue to have sex, not that until today she believed that was going to happen. But that combined with Angelus feeding off of her, the hours she spent studying with Willow so that she could take and pass two tests on Monday, and the laundry and kitchen cleanup she had helped her mom with had exhausted her.

"Do you have something to tell us, Buffster?" Xander asked and Buffy frowned.

"Not really, no. Why?" Was she missing something? Had she forgotten something? Giles had removed her from patrolling until further notice, so she did not think that had anything to do with this.

"Well, you might want to have a little talk with your undead ex-boyfriend the next time you see him then," Xander said with contempt.

"Willow says you seemed pretty chummy with him this morning here in your room," Cordelia added with distaste. Great, just what she needed Cordelia Chase and Xander Harris ganging up on her about Angel.

"Having a vampire for a boyfriend wasn't good enough for you, you have to let the evil soulless thing that replaced him when you got with the happy feed off you, too?" Xander added, overlapping Cordelia's statement.

Buffy looked at Willow, surprised and hurt that Willow would tell anyone. Willow whimpered softly and looked away, though Buffy did not miss the flustered look her friend had on her face. "Guys, that's not what we came here about," she said.

"Why did you even tell them?" Buffy asked, curious why her best friend would reveal something like that to anyone, especially Xander. Willow knew how distraught Buffy had been in the morning.

"Buffy, I wouldn't have normally, but when Oz came to talk to me about Angel I had to tell him what I saw."

"Why did you have to tell Oz something that's none of his business?"

"I'd say it is our business when we're patrolling for you, picking up the slack for you because you're sick." Xander said.

"And I appreciate it, guys, all of you, I really do. And I've told you that, maybe not as often as I think it or should but I thank you. You know I'd be out there with you if Giles would let me."

"See, that's the thing," Xander continued. "None of us mind doing it, but when we find out that you're not really sick we got a little upset."

"But I have been sick," Buffy replied defensively. She and Giles had talked at length when she first found out she was pregnant about telling her friends, both had decided that until she knew that she was out of the woods as far as miscarriages and other complications went she would not tell them. She still had weeks to go before she was out of that gray area, particularly considering this was not a normal baby. "All of you have been with me and seen me."

"Yeah, but Buffy, we thought you had the flu or something. Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant?"

She clutched her pillow to her lap, wishing now she had never let them come up. The fact the pillow smelled strongly like Angelus made her rethink why she had grabbed for that pillow. She closed her eyes to try to push aside the memories of that morning that came rushing back to her, wanting nothing more than to push them out of her mind but found she was unable to. It was like he was there in her head, planting the images there, wanting her to see them, wanting her to remember. Did he know she was having this conversation right now? And why did the idea that he did, that he was somehow there with her, even if it was mentally, relieve her of some of the stress she had felt a moment ago. And she did feel it leaving her, stress was of the bad for pregnant women she knew that but still could not help it sometimes. "How did you find out?" she asked quietly. Giles would not have told them, he had agreed it was better not to let them get emotionally involved in the situation or too attached to the baby.

"Oz ran into Angelus outside of The Bronze and thought that you were with him."

"What?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"I smelled you," Oz added for clarification. "I didn't realize it was him until he turned around."

"Was he? Did he?" Buffy could not finish either question.

"Yes, he had just fed and no he did not kill the girl," Oz offered, seeming to know what she was asking even if she could not ask the questions outright.

A girl, Buffy thought and wondered why that bothered her so much right then. It was not the first time he had fed off a woman, she had seen some of Angelus' victims herself. There were a few that bore a startling resemblance to Buffy, just as he had chosen Tom Parks the night he had seen her at The Bronze with Jeff.

Somehow she felt betrayed that he would feed off another woman after he had fed from her just that morning. She kept that to herself, knowing her friends would not understand it anymore than she did. In her head, though, she thought she could feel him embrace her. There were some things that even if she did understand them with regard to her relationship and connection with Angel-us that she was just better off keeping from her friends. If Angelus was there in her mind, even more reason not to tell them much. She was not sure how she could explain this even to Giles. Oddly, though the feeling that she was getting was that Angel not Angelus was with her.

"So it's true?" Xander asked, his voice indicating the idea was sending him into a state of panic.

"Yes," she said softly. "We didn't tell you for a reason, guys."

"We? You mean you and Dead Boy got together and decided not to tell us?"

"No, Angelus had nothing to do with the decision. He did not even know about it until a few days ago, and he found out by accident. It was Giles and I who decided."

"Giles knows?"

"Yes, we both thought it was better you not know until we knew for sure just what this means."

"I'll tell you what it means," Xander said. "It means that you are going to give birth to a vampire, Buffy. You're the Slayer, how can you even contemplate having that evil thing's baby?"

"It's not going to be a vampire," Buffy countered, though she had no proof to offer him. She had no idea what this baby was going to be, but still could not stomach the idea of ridding herself of it.

"And I suppose the two of you are going to set up house together and raise it." Xander said with disdain.

"No, he knows about it, but no, I wouldn't do that."

"Right," Cordelia interjected. "And if he walked up to you right now and professed his undying love and devotion to you you'd throw him out."

"Well, no, I wouldn't do that either. He is the baby's father, guys. I don't know what you want me to do. If he did come up to me and say that, I'd listen to him, sure. You know I love him, you know how much I love him. And I do love him, soul or not, he's the same person, but I won't be with him if he continues killing."

"Is that why you had sex with him today?" Oz asked.

"What?" Buffy asked, shocked that Oz knew about that. Had Angelus told him? This was one aspect of the split personalities that were Angel and Angelus that she was still getting used to. Where Angel was hesitant to offer much information to anyone, even to Buffy, Angelus seemed all too willing to tell everyone everything.

"I smelled you, Buffy. I mean, normally I wouldn't care or even say anything in front of everyone else, but which is it? Are you with him or aren't you?"

"No, it just happened, all right?"

"See, that's where I have a problem," Xander said his tone condescending. "I don't think it's all right for you to be having sex with him and I don't think Giles would like knowing you let Dead Boy get a taste of you either."

"At least Giles seems to understand my feelings better than any of you do. Do you have any idea what the past two months have been like for me?"

"But Buffy, you have to get past it," Cordelia said.

"Right, Cordelia, and I'm supposed to get past it how exactly?"

"Don't have the baby," Xander offered, as if the answer was so obvious.

"And if this is the only chance I ever get to have a baby? Are you God now, Xander, that you get to make my decisions for me? I've already died once, you were there."

"All the more reason for you not to have it. What happens if you die again, Buffy? Who's going to take care of the baby when you're gone? Your mom? I don't think so."

"She would," Buffy said with conviction. She had no doubt in her mind that her mother would take care of Buffy's child if it came to that. They might have their problems, Buffy might hate the way her mother was treating her right now, but Joyce Summers would not turn her back on her flesh and blood.

"Were you ever going to tell us, Buffy," Willow said, her voice calm as if trying to reel the conversation back to the fact that she had kept her pregnancy a secret. Buffy knew, too, though that Willow was upset that Buffy had not confided in her.

"Yes, I was, when Giles and I thought it was safe. I mean, Slayers having babies is not common, so I have no idea if I'm even really going to have this baby. Anything could happen, and I didn't want to worry you guys. We didn't want to risk you getting as attached to the baby as I already am only to have me lose it."

"So you would rather lose it and suffer alone, Buffy?" Willow asked, her tone betraying the hurt Buffy knew she felt and Buffy all of the sudden felt bad for withholding the information from Willow.

"No, of course not, but I already have my mom looking at me with pity, I don't want it from you guys, too. Mom has no idea what the truth is as far as what happened, she just thinks Angel abandoned me. You guys know the truth, and it hurts a little more, I don't want you all feeling sorry for me."

"Oh," Willow said softly and glanced at the three others in the room with them. "Are you okay? Have you been to a doctor? Can I do anything? Is Angel going to help?"

"I'm okay, better the last couple of days, I've been to a doctor. I'm hoping you can help me, Will. And Oz," she added glancing at Oz. "Angelus gave me the name and number for a doctor in Los Angeles who specializes in children of non-human parents, so I think I should go to him but I need a ride. I can't ask my mom to bring me, she'll want to know why the local doctor isn't good enough."

"Yeah, sure, we can come up with some story I'm sure," Willow said.

"Like the Dingo's having a gig or something."

"I don't know that I like the idea of you going to a doctor Dead Boy recommends, Buff."

"Well, I have to find one other than the one my mom goes to," Buffy said, frustrated. "I won't take anything he gives me to take until I have Giles or Willow check out what they are. I've thought of that, too, believe me. It would be real easy for him to send me to some doctor and have him prescribe something to cause me to abort the baby, but guys," she said looking pointedly at each of them. "You haven't seen him when it comes to this. He's very possessive of me and the baby right now."

"I saw it," Willow said softly. "This morning, I had no idea why he was acting like that, but it makes sense now. He really was concerned about you, Buffy. At least we know one thing, Angel or Angelus, they both think about you all of the time and they're both inclined to protect you no matter what."

"That would make me feel better if I didn't think he'd go from protecting me against you or someone else to killing me himself if I made him mad."

"So what we're supposed to be happy for you? Will, Buff, you're crazy," Xander said.

"Xander," Buffy said, clutching the pillow against her chest. She was practically hugging it, wanting Angel with her. She'd take Angelus right now if it would make her stronger and enable her to get through this confrontation with her friends. And just like that she felt him again. If she wasn't the Slayer and if she and Angel-us did not share some sort of mental connection that enabled them to experience and star in one another's dreams she would be scared instead of soothed by it. She was sure it was Angel, though, not Angelus, she could feel the concern and comfort he was trying to offer her. How was this possible? Better not to dwell on it, ask Giles later how Angel could still communicate with her even though Angelus was in control. Giles knew about the dream Buffy had when Angel-us practically told her outright that Jenny Calendar had the answers to Buffy's questions. "The last thing I need right now is for you to pass judgment on me. I'm stressed enough because I need to pass these tests that Willow is tutoring me for. I don't need you being difficult about this. Believe me, it's difficult enough. Say whatever you want to Cordelia or to Willow and Oz when I'm not around, but please keep your remarks to yourself when I'm around."

"I can try."

"Please. This is part of the reason Giles and I figured it would be best if we didn't tell you, there was no sense in getting you all upset about it when we don't know what's going to happen."

"Don't the people you and Giles work for have some information?" Oz asked.

"We haven't told them either," Buffy admitted softly. "I don't want them coming here doing tests on me and I don't want them capturing Angelus."

"Capturing the undead bloodsucking fiend who has gone on a killing spree since you gave him his happy moment would be bad because?"

Buffy tossed the pillow aside and stood in a fluid movement, grateful that she had not been sick all day and that sudden movement no longer made her dizzy. She grabbed a hold of Xander by the front of his shirt and looked him in the eye as best as she could given their height difference. "Because I love him, Xander. Soul or not, I love him. I'm not saying that I couldn't drive a stake through his heart if I had to, but I love him and he's my baby's father. I'm not going to let the Council get their hands on him." She released him and stepped away. "And I honestly don't know what would happen to me if he died."

"What?" all four of them asked in unison.

"Just what I said. We have this connection, you know we've shared dreams. I don't know what would happen to me if he died."

"That's a better reason than the first one you gave us. I can't believe you can stand here and tell us you still love him, Buffy. He's a vampire, he's what you've been killing for a couple of years now, and from what Giles has told us he's one of the worst ones out there."

"I know all of that, Xander, but I can't change the way I feel. I could ask you how you could go from hating Cordelia to being her boyfriend."

"That's different."

"No, it's not, Xander. It's your heart, it's my heart. I can't turn my feelings off anymore than you can."

"Whatever."

"Xander, we're here to talk to Buffy, not make her feel bad or patronize her. She's right, feelings don't just go away. We have to trust that she knows what she's doing."

"She's pregnant, women who are pregnant are not exactly known for being rational."

"And Giles is irrational?"

"She has a point, Xander. If Giles knows about this, then we really have nothing much to say."

"But how do we know Giles really knows?"

"Like I'd lie to you about it, but call him and ask him if you don't believe me."

"We believe you, Buffy," Willow offered, though Buffy was not overly convinced Xander believed her.

"I'm tired, guys, is there anything else?"

"Is he coming back?"

"Angelus?" It surprised her how easily his name was rolling off her tongue now. In her mind sometimes she had a hard time calling him Angelus because in her mind he would always be her Angel. "I don't know, I couldn't tell you. He was gone when I came back up here, so I have no idea." Had her not coming back up to her bedroom sent him off on the hunt? She hoped not and if it had been the reason, she was glad that Oz had come across him when he had. Angelus had said he had not killed in the past week, but Buffy had no reason to believe he