As I'm working on updating my site (3/2001) I realize that it has been almost a year since I last updated Arthur' page. Easy enough to do, I suppose, since Arthur died in an accident June 4, 2000. His 15 months on this earth was too short for both my daughter and myself, and I certainly don't pretend to understand God's reasoning but I have to believe that Arthur is in a far better place where he will never suffer pain or hardship or have to worry about anything. I know that my mother is up there with him enjoying finally having a grandchild to hold and to love. And with my grandfather's passing February 5, 2001, Grandpa Arthur finally was able to meet his great grandson who was named for him.
The past nine months have been difficult for both my daughter and myself. We were separated by the state from June through December, and hopefully as soon as the last of the legal matters regarding my son's death are finished in May she and I will be able to move up to Fargo, North Dakota and "start over". We will be close to family, she will be closer to her dad, and I will be able to go back to school - all things I'd like to think are good steps toward improving our lives a little bit.
I realize as I write this that I more than likely still have not come to terms with his death or the circumstances surrounding it. Not being allowed to talk about the details of his death because of the criminal charges pending against me for the six months after his death hindered my grieving process. My problem did not lie with his death as much as the conditions surrounding his death, but alas per my attorney I was not to discuss details of his death with anyone. And while I've experienced death by way of my mother in January 1991, my paternal grandfather on my 30th birthday August 6, 1999 and my maternal grandfather who my son was named for February 5, 2001, losing your child is just something I don't know that anyone can ever be prepared for. Sleep has become a thing that I recall doing once upon a time, but I don't do it very well any more. And when I do manage to do it, I sleep for fourteen hours at a time. Depression I imagine is the root of it, but I was so scared to go to a doctor for sleeping pills or antidepressants, scared that the police would come to arrest me and find the sleeping pills and antidepressants and say "see she was using substances at the time of his death" that I just never went. Foolish, perhaps, but now I'm hoping that the move we will be making this summer will be a natural cure - getting away from this house where his death took place will be a help I believe.
Oddly while my mother's death took me away from my church, my son's death seems to have brought me back. I look forward to being in Fargo and going to the "family" church Olivet Lutheran Church. My grandparents have gone there for almost sixty years, my mother and father were married there in 1957 and just about everyone in my family who lives in Fargo attends. I'm looking forward to getting back into a church I like since I never was able to find one I was truly happy with in the Orlando area. I believe that getting involved again with my church will be yet another positive step for both my daughter and myself.
Please feel free to read below for the details of the short time we were granted to be with Arthur on earth.
Arthur Edward was welcomed into this world on March 10, 1999, at 2:08 P.M. E.T. after a little over seven hours of induced labor. Below are some pictures taken shortly after his birth. Three are of Arthur alone, one with Mom, and one with Dad. I'll be adding more to this page soon. My husband also has a page on his site, which gives more details about the delivery, etc. He was more "aware" of what was going on then I was, as well as pictures from the delivery. Click here to go to his page.
Arthur went for his two week check up on March 25. He weighed in at 8 pounds, 3-1/2 ounces (a 13-1/2 ounce gain from birth weight) and measured in at 21-3/4" in length (a 3/4" growth spurt!). His umbilical cord was a little infected, but otherwise he was great. His eyes were moving around, trying to check out everything he could. Next appointment is April 26.
April 26. Arthur weighed in at 10 pounds, 13 ounces and 22-1/2 inches. He received four vaccinations, three shots and one oral. Doctor was pleased with his formula intake amount (4-5 ounces at a time). Next appointment June 3.
Boy, it's been months since I've updated this page. Unfortunately, life doesn't always allow us to do what we'd like. Arthur is now 11-1/2 months old. He has been walking since he was ten months old, having gotten his first pair of Stride Rite shoes a couple of weeks ago. He is eating food pretty well, though I am still giving him fruits and vegetables in baby food. I just today gave him his first bottle of whole milk. He has no desire to drink from a sippy cup, so he's still using a bottle. He and my daughter, Stephanie (who just turned nine 2/22), are buds. If there's any doubt as to whether or not he likes her, it was made known the other weekend when Stephanie spent the entire weekend across the street at her friend's house. She came home Sunday morning for about five minutes to pick up some clothes and left. Arthur stood by the door and cried after she left! He and my dog, Gretchen, are also a pair. I can't get over the way Gretchen treats him, almost as if he were her puppy. They play with one another, and Gretchen even lets him pull on her ears and nub (tail).